Punch: Punch (100.1891)

February 21, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

95

THE PINK OF COURTESY, AW) A TRUE BLUE.

Last week a Cambridge Graduate, a Layman, not a
Reverend Don, kindly coached the Oxford Eight. The
great Duke of Wellington, courteously instructing the
French Army how to defeat the English, would be an
historical parallel. It is to be hoped that this sublime
example of unselfish devotion to aquatic sport will be fol-
lowed in other walks of life. "W e may expect to learn
from the daily papers how,—

On Monday a Cabinet Council was held at Downing
Street. Lord Salisbury presided, and Mr. W. H. Smith
being indisposed, Mr. W. E. Gladstone (at a moment's
notice) kindly consented to take his place.

On Tuesday General Caprtvi went on leave, his place
as confidential adviser to the Emperor of Germany being
supplied during his absence by Prince Von Bismarck.

The Czar of Russia, wishing to take a short holiday in
Denmark, has arranged that his place shall be supplied
by Prince Alexander, once of Battenberg, and late of
Bulgaria. Before his return to St. Petersburg His
Majesty is likely to spend some time as the guest of
several leading Nihilists.

On Wednesday President Carnot paid a long visit to
General Boulanger, with a view to submitting to that
eminent statesman a scheme for the reorganisation of the
French Army.

On Thursday the King of Italy, having arranged to
accompany Signer Ceispi in a yachting cruise to South
America, the Pope took up frs residence at the Quirinal,
and presided at a National Council. Later in the day his
Holiness reviewed the Roman garrison.

On Friday Mr. O'Brien gave a numerously attended
"at home" in his new prison. Amongst those present
were Mr. Gladstone, Lord Salisbury, Mr. Paknell,
Mr. McCarthy, and Mr. Tim Healy. It is understood
that the result of this amicable meeting will be found
in a spirit of reciprocity exhibited in the anti-Parnellites
writing Mr. Park ell's manifestoes for the Parnellites,
and vice versa.

Query by Ignoramus.—From the Times' "Court Cir-
cular," Feb. 11:—" The following Ladies and Gentlemen
had the honour of receiving invitations, and being re-
ceived by Her Majesty afterwards in the Drawing R,oom."
Well, Sir (writes our Correspondent) and where are they
usually received P In the kitchen ? The report doesn't
mention whether it was the front or back Drawing Room.

INCONVENIENCE OF MODERN MALE ATTIRE.

First Stranger. " Here—Hi ! I want a Knife and Fork, please I "
Second Stranger, " Con-found you—so do II"

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, February 9. — The Attorney-
General, with copy of Orders in his hand, casts reproachful, almost
angry, glance on the harmless Howorth ; that great diplomatist just
dropped in from Arlington Street; been to see
the Markiss, and give him latest instructions as
to conduct of public affairs, more especially with
respect to Behring Sea, the Northampton Elec-
tion, the Newfoundland Fisheries difficulty, and
Assisted Education. A little fatigued with his
exertions; doesn't observe Webster's wof ul regard.

"If it hadn't been for him," Attorney-Gen-
eral mutters, still glaring on elect of Salford,
"shouldn't have to be down here now, answering
these sort of questions."

No doubt Howorth was, though undesignedly,
originator of the business. Saw in incident of
Hartlepool election an opening for minimising
effect. Wrapped purpose up in form of question
addressed to Attorney-General. Question in
subtly diplomatic form insinuated against Fgr-
ness charge of breach of Corrupt Practice Act.
Attorney-General, knowing that Howorth is
the man who pulls the strings of statecraft, not
only in Salford and London, but in Berlin and
St. Petersburg, did not venture to decline to
answer ; gravely played up to his lead. Oppo-
sition laughed and cheered ; saw their opening,
and have since diligently filled it. Scarcely day
passed since that questions on hypothetical cases,
addressed to Attorney - General, have not ap-
peared on Orders. As they are moulded on Caustlc Causton.
Howorth's, which he answered fully, even genially, difficult to
refuse reply. But there must be a limit to this kind of thing;

reached to-day when caustic Causton comes forward with request
for gratuitous opinion on case submitted, involving difficult ques-
tion of eligibility of Catholics for seat on Woolsack. Summers,
who, depressed by Irish domestic difficulty, hasn't put a question
for three weeks, goaded into activity ; puts down another on same
subject. Mr. Attorney respectfully declines. to answer either.
Opposition yell with derisive cheers.

Mr. Attorney a man of equable temper, but this too much for
him. Must find object of attack somewhere. Waited till Howorth
had said adieu to five ladies whom he had been showing round the
House. "Look here, Howorth," said Mr. Attobney, his amiable
visage clouded with unwonted wrath, "you content yourself with
looking after the Markiss, and keeping him straight, but don't
you come round me any more with your confoundedly clever
questions."

Business done.—Tithe Bill still on Report stage.

Tuesday.—Met John Morley in corridor just now walking along
with long stride and troubled countenance. " What's the matter P "
I asked. "Is the French Revolution still troubling you, or are you
in fresh difficulties On Compromise ? "

"No, dear Toby," he said; "like Martha, I am troubled with
none of these things. The fact is, I am pining for opportunity to
give battle to Baleour in the matter of his Government of Ireland.
You remember I tabled notice of a Motion on the matter as soon as
the House met in November. Then I was so anxious, so absorbed
in the subject, that I forgot all about it till Brer Fox and Brer
Rabbit appeared on the scene, and bid against each other for pre-
cedence. Thereupon I pulled my Resolution out of pigeon-hole ;
reminded Old Morality of my prior claim; had it admitted, and
day fixed. Should have come on last Monday, you know. Tithes Bill
in hand all last week ; everybody tired of it; agree there's really
nothing in it; Opposition smouldering out; then suddenly, my
Motion having been put down for Monday, interest in Tithes Bill
swells ; becomes absorbing. Couldn't possibly finish last Thursday ;
everyone so urgent to continue debate that House was Counted Out
on Friday; yesterday was appropriated for further debate on