Punch: Punch (100.1891)

Match 7, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 119

" LA BLX1."

(IRISH DONNYBROOK VERSION.)
Air—" Packington's Pound."
Oirish Gentleman loquitur :—
Spilt mugs, chairs fallen, and scattered tables,—

That's Oirish shindy, me bhoys, all over !
" Union of Hearts " and snch plisant fables,
Won't greatly hamper the free-foight lover.
"What do you mean,
Ye paltry spalpeen ?
True Oirish hearts from OJd England to wean ?
Faix, not a bit of it! We '11 jiet have none of it!
They 're foighting frindly, and jist for the fun of it!

There's bould Paenell, he looks fierce and fell,
Wid his savage face, and his snickersee steely.
Faix, wouldn't he loike that same to stroike
All into the gizzard of Misther Healt ?
He looks so sullen
At the pair a pullin'
At his sinewy arm, and his onset mullin'!
That thraitor, Tim, he'd be having his will on,
But for tearful O'Brien, and dismal Dillon.

As for tarin' Tim, he'd be hot at Ann,

Wid his ready sword from its scabbard flashin'!
But that meddlin' Justin will be a thrustin'
Himself betune 'em, the duel dashin'!
Och, I assure ye,
Nor judge nor jury
Could abate their ardour, or assuage their f ary.
Faix, Mount Yaysuvius, wid its flame and smother,
Must take a back sate—whin they get at each other !

Och ! a rale ruction hath a swate seduction,

For us Oirish, Bull, though it mayn't be your way.
Parnell's a rum fish, and he 6eems to Bcumfish "
That Grand Ould Gintleman paping in at the doorway.
Ye may call it " Rixe"
Though I can't quite fix
Its mayning ; a plague on all polyglot thricks !
Sthand asoide, O'Beien, Dillon, McCarthy!
Let 'em foight it out—shure that's Oirish and hearthy !

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, February 23.—House empty to-
niglt. _ Even the fog keeps out; nothing more important under con-
sideration than Army Vote, including expenditure of £5,632,700.
" And precious little too," says Colonel
Laurie, doing sentry march in the
Lobby. "Wages going up everywhere!
labour of all classes but one paid on
higher scale than it used to be ; but
Tommy Atkins and his Colonel getting
just the same now as they did twenty
years ago, when living was much
cheaper. There ought to be a rise all
round, and so there would be, if the
Army, following example of other
organised bodies of day labourers,
were to strike; think I '11 mention it
at Mess; should begin at the top.
Why shouldn't the Colonels and
Generals assemble in their hundreds,
march to Hyde Park, where H.lt.H.
would address them from a stoutly-
made tub ? Moral effect would be
enormous; shall certainly mention it
at Mess. Perhaps, could get some
practical hints from John Bubns."

These remarks dropped by the Colo-
nel before debate opened. During its
progress received support from un-
expected quarter. Haetington, sud-
denly waking up from usual nap on
Front Bench, wanted to know when

War Office is going to carry out re- u ^ cious little too »
commendation of Royal Commission
on re-organisation of Naval and Military Departments P Stanhope
said everything turned upon vacancy in post of Commander-in-
Chief. When that berth empty, the machine would move. No chance

AN IMPORTANT PERSON.

"Is Dr. Jones in Town?"
"YtssiR. Have you an Apt-ointment?"

" No ; I did not think it necessary. The last time I called
I had no Appointment, and saw him without any difficulty."
"Possibly so, Sir. I daresay / wasn't busy that Morning I"

of immediate vacancy ; the Dcok very comfortable where he is ; not
the [sort of man to retire in face of_ enemy. The only way to carry
out scheme recommended by Commissioners after prolonged inquiry
was to get rid of the Dook.

" I do trust," said Stanhope, winking at the Strangers' Gallery,
"that the public will not interfere in this matter. They have had
the E-eport of the Commission in their hands for months. They
have taken no notice of it, or any action upon it. I do hope, now
their attention has been called to the matter by my noble and
Radical friend opposite, they will not get up a fuss and insist that
necessary and important reforms in the Army shall not be indefinitely
postponed in order that the Dook may draw his salary and enjoy his
position. If the great mass of public opinion outside the Army
plainly declared their wishes in that direction, we should have to
yield ; but, as I said before," and once more the Secretary furtively
dropped his left eyelid as he looked up at the Strangers' Gallery, " I
hope the public will not change their attitude on this subject."

"That's all very well," said Laurie, who had now entered the
House. " But it seems to me that when H.R.H. reads this curious
speech, he '11 be more inclined to fall in with our movement. In my
mind's eye, I can already see him on the tub in Hyde Park,
haranguing the mob of Colonels from under an umbrella."

Business done.—Army Estimates in Committee.

Tuesday— Decidedly a Labour night, with Capital incidentally
mentioned. First, Old_ Morality announces appointment of Royal
Commission to inquire into relations between Capital and Labour.
His placid mind evidently disturbed by undesirable coincidence. On
Saturday night, Geandolph, suddenly remembering he had con-
stituents at West Paddington, took a penny Road Car, and paid
them visit. Delivered luminous speech on things in general.