Punch: Punch (100.1891)

March 21, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

137

Reb. {catches at the chairback with joy). How? at last— a rise at
last! {Recollects herself.) But what am I about? Am I not an
emancipated enigma ? {Puts her hands over her ears as if in terror.)
What are you saying ? You mustn't. I can't think what you mean.
Go away, do!

Rosmer {softly). Be the new and living reality. It is the only
way to put Beata out of the Saga. Shall we try it ?

Reb. Never! Do not—do not ask me why—for I haven't a notion—
hut never! {Nods slowly to him and rises.) White Horses would
not induce me ! (With her hand on door-handle.) Now you know !

[She goes out.

Rosmer {sits up, stares thunderstruck at the stove, and says to him-
self). Well—I—am- [Quick Curtain.

[The remaining two Acts of this subtle psychological study unavoidably

held over.]

KEEP YOUR HARE ON!"

Is not following the advice given in the headline to this article,
clever Mr. Penebo has made a mistake. Lady Bountiful with only
a very little Habe is a disappointment. The majority of those who
go to " Hare's Theatre " (they don't speak of it as " The Garrick")

go to see the Lessee and Manager in a
new part: and they go to see a lot
of him: they don't ask merely for a
small piece of Hare, if you please,
though they might be satisfied with
Hake in a small piece. Everyone goes
expecting to see him in a good part
in a good Comedy, his good part being
equal to the better part of the whole
entertainment; and if they don't so

Hare's Theatre. see h™> are disappointed. Why

was Mr. Gbtjndy s happy translation
of Les Oiseaux peculiarly successful ? because it was a light, fresh,
and pretty piece, wherein the occasional phrase in a minor key was so
artistically introduced as to be a relish to our enjoyment of the
humour of the characters and of the situations; but all this would
have gone for comparatively little had it not been for the excellence
of Mr. Habe's rendering of the first-rate part of Goldfinch, which
did not consist of occasional flashes, only to collapse and disappear
in the penultimate Act, but continued right through to the end,
dominating everything and everybody. This is not so with Lady
Bountiful. The appearance of Roderick Heron, who is no creation
of the Author's, as he admits, but merely Mr. Skimpole under
another name, raises hopes at the commencement, which are blighted
long before the finish. The part gutters out, as_ does Mr. Chables
Grove's John Veale, another "promise of spring." Toung Mr.
Gilbebt Habe makes a most creditable first appearance as Sir
Lucian Brent, Bart. He is easy and natural.

Tor the greater part of the educated audience, it might have been
more useful if Sir Richard Philliter, Q.C., had gone about with
an old Eton Latin Grammar in his pocket, instead of a Horace ; and
if Miss Kate Bobee had divided with him the quotation, '' Nemo
mortalium omnibus horis sapit." He, being rejected, might have
commenced, "Nemo mortalium," and she might have continued,
"omnibus horis;" then, both together, " sapit." Or when she
had snubbed him, he might have made some telling remark about
" Verbum personale," and so forth. The introduction of a quotation
from Horace is likely rather to be resented than appreciated by the
victims of a superior education. What a bad quarter of an hour or
so Paterfamilias will have when Materfamilias asks him for the
translation of these lines from Horace ! Poor Pater will pretend not
to have "quite canghtthem;" or "not been attending;" butto himself
he 'will own how entirely he has forgotten his Latin, and perhaps he
will make a good resolution to himself to "look up his Horace
again." Then the learned young lady will be asked by her Mamma,
or by her sharp young bothering sister"what that Latin means," and
though she might be able to construe it when she sees it, to translate
it offhand at one hearing is a difficulty, and she will evade the
question by saying, "Please, don't talk! I want to listen to the piece."

The youth in the Stalls, fresh from college or school, will be about
as much equal to the translation offhand as is young Sir Lucian
Brent when asked by Mr. Cathcabt to give the meaning of the
Latin on the ancient brasses in the old church, and they won't thank
you for bringing school studies into playtime. On the whole,
nothing is gained by this Dr. Panglossian introduction of Latin
quotation ; it doesn't help the action, nor emphasise a character, nor
does it strengthen a situation, to bring in even the most appropriate
lines which are not "in a language understanded of the people."
Sir Richard Philliter, Q. C, might be known in private life to his
friends as Sir Hobace Davus {Non (Edipus). Mr. Cathcabt's
Pedgrift, parish clerk and sexton, is an excellent little character-
sketch, as is also that of Mrs. Hornutt, the pew-opener.

As for Mr. Fobbes Robeetson and Miss Kate Robke, they

seemed to me to be what the author had made them— i.e., stagey.
Miss Dolobes Dbtjmmond, as Mrs. Veale, is very good, and Miss
Mabee Linden, except in one stagey bit in the Third Act, plays
with great care and judgment. The interior of the old country
church (Act III.) is a masterpiece of scenic art and stage arrange-
ment,— a perfect picture by Mr. W. Habfobd. I wish I could
say the same of the denoument of the interrupted marriage, which
strongly reminded me of a pictorial heading to some exciting chapter
in a penny novelette or The London Journal. It is a very weak finish,
and not strengthened or improved in any way by the line Sir Richard,
Philliter, Q.C., has to say, on which the Curtain descends. And
what does everybody exclaim afterwards? Simply, "Why there's
nothing for Habe to do in it. We thought we should, see him again,
and that he would come out all right at last." That's the feeling.
They can't bear the idea of their favourite first-class Comedian
being a sordid, swindling old villain, unless the character be excep-
tionally amusing. Lady Bountiful might be termed " A bald piece,"
because it has so little Habe.

THE BOAT-RACE TEN YEARS HENCE!

( When no doubt it will be conducted on strictly scientific principles.)

The crews were met together on the day fixed for the event in
the Council Boom of the Combined Universities Barge moored at
Putney. Fifteen of the athletes wore the usual training mufti,
which contrasted strongly with the garb of the sixteenth—a com-
plete suit of flannels. "To quote our ancestors—1 Why this thus-
ness ?' " asked the Camford Stroke, as he recognised one of his own
men in this strange apparel.

"Why not?" replied the other; "surely we are not going to
pull in tweeds P"

" We are not going to pull at all," explained the leader of the
Oxbridge Eight, courteously ; "I think we can manage the matter
in a more satisfactory fashion. It was all very well in the Nineties
to race in real earnest, but now that we have reached the Twentieth
Century our civilisation teaches something better."

"Certainly!" returned the Camford Stroke; "and I think we
had better get at once to business. Who has the sworn information
of our respective coaches ? "

" I have," replied the Hon. Solicitor to the rival Boating Clubs;
" and, if you will allow me, I will produce them—or rather it, for the
coaches have affirmed jointly."

All present bowing acquiescence, the man of law, putting on his
spectacles, and opening a brief-bag, produced a document, and read
as follows:—

"It is our opinion that Oxbridge, as the heavier crew, has an
advantage over Camford, which is only lessened, and certainly not
entirely removed, by the better training of the latter. Moreover, the
steering of the Oxbridge coxwain is infinitely preferable to the
steering of his rival. The times of the various trials, too, have in
every instance given a distinct advantage to Oxbridge. Again, they
have a better boat. So, given fine weather, the result is a foregone
conclusion. Oxbridge must win, although no doubt Camford would
make a good fight for it, and come in a respectable second."

"I suppose we may add, 'barring accidents'?" suggested the
Camford Stroke, with rather a forced laugh.

" Sir 1" exclaimed the Hon. Solicitor, with some severity. " In a
company of gentlemen like those present, accidents always are
barred I"

" Quite so," admitted the Camford champion, " and I suppose our
committee of the latest Senior Wrangler and the youngest Double
First have considered what I may call the atmospheric conditions
under which the race would have taken place ? "

" Yes, Sir, we have, and those conditions are all unfavourable to
the success of Camford," was the ready reply.

" Then I think we have but one more thing to do—to give three
hearty cheers for our opponents," said the Oxbridge Stroke, and a
minute later the rafters rang with loud applause.

" But why shouldn't we have rowed it out ? " asked the gentleman
in flannels—he was a Freshman—a little later. " Surely that would
have been more satisfactory."

"Not at all," was the reply. " The plan is merely a survival of
the fittest! " and his answer afforded general satisfaction.

Shelley Revised.

Most rhyming men
Are cradled into poetry by fashion,_
And learn as formula what they print as passion.

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