DOI issue:
April 11, 1891
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17691#0182
172
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 11, 1891,
MP. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.
{Condensed and Revised Version by Mr. P.'s Own Harmless Ibsenite.)
No. II.-NORA; OR, THE BIRD-CAGE (ET DIKKISYOLT).
Act II.
him lightly on the ear with the stockings; then hums a little.) I
want you to do me a great service, Dr. Rank. [Rolling up stock-
ings.) I always liked you. I love Tobvaxd most, of course—but,
somehow, I 'd rather spend my time with you—you are so amusing!
Rank. If I am, can't you guess why? [A short silence.) Because
I love you ! Yo_. >an't pretend you didn't know it!
Nora. Perhaps not—but it was really too clumsy of you to mention
The Room, with the cheap Art-furniture as before—except that the a just as I was about to ask a favour of you ! It was in the worst
candles on the Christmas-tree have guttered down and appear j taste! (With dignity.) You must not imagine because I joke with
to have been lately blown out. The cotton-wool frogs_ and^ the j you at,0Tlt silk stockings, and tell you things I never tell Toevald,
that I am therefore without the most delicate and scrupulous self-
respect ! I am really quite a good little doll, Dr. Rank, and now—
{sits in rocking-chair and smiles)—now I shan't ask you what I was
going to ! [Ellen comes in with a card.
Nora {terrified). Oh, my goodness ! [Puts it in her pocket.
Dr. Rank. Excuse my easy Norwegian pleasantry—but—h'm—
anything disagreeable up ?
Nora {to herself). Kbogstad's card ! I must tell another whopper!
{To Rank.) No, nothing, only—only my new costume. I want to
chenille monkeys are disarranged, and there are xoalking things
on the sofa. IS! oka alone.
Nora {putting on a cloak and taking it off again). Bother Keog-
stad ! There, 1 won't think of him. I '11 only think of the costume
ball at Consul Stenbobg's, over-head, to-night, where I am to dance
the Tarantella all alone, dressed as a Capri fisher-girl. It struck
Toevald that, as I am a matron with three children, my performance
might amuse the Consul's guests, and, at the same time, increase
his connection at the Bank. Toevald is so practical. {To Mrs.
Linden, who comes in with a large cardboard box.) Ah, Cheistina, j try it on here. I always do try on my dresses in the drawing-room
so you have brought in my old costume ? Would you mind, as my —it's cosier, you know. So go in to Toevald and amuse him till
husband's new Cashier, just doing up the trimming for me ? [ I'm ready.
Mrs. L. Not at all—is it not part of my regular duties? {Saving.) \ [Rank goes into Helmeb's room, and Noea bolts the door upon
Don't you think, Noba, that you see a little too much of Dr. Rank? \ him, as Keogstad enters from hall in a fur cap.
Nora. Oh, I couldn't see too / - ^ Krogs. Well, I've got the sack,
much of Dr. Rank ! He is so__=_ 1 I j $ an<^ 80 ^ came to see now Vou are
amusing—always talking about iMr ■:&.f j f ; y a getting on. I mayn't be a nice
his complaints, and heredity, and 7 : --z7^- ,' ./ j L man, but— {with feeling)—I have a
all sorts of indescribably funny j ^^~N \ o 7 heart! And, as I don't intend to
things. Go away now, dear; I ijj JgML. \ - W' / give up the forged 1.0.17. unless
hear Toevald. | jp*^''^* 7\ r A ' 7i7 7/ I'm taken back, I was afraid you
[Mrs. Linden goes. Enter Ton- ^j»P/|^r AliTzTLy '^j^^t^Li /'''' might be contemplating suicide,
vald from the Manager's room, jlfi ——-/^^m^^^L= - " } 7?~' M^^m^^^ or something of that kind ; and so
Noea runs trippingly to him. |j! W^lwmT^m I' ]■ ^'Tr^^^^^^^^s. I called to tell you that, if I were
Nora {coaxing). Oh, Toevald, lil V-v't\J W^imWrt^i. you, I wouldn't. Bad thin? for the
if only you won't dismiss Kbog- ' 'J ^mSHmmanSk '^mn---fWvk fit complexion, suicide, and silly, too,
st ad, you can't think how your ||| 7 ^WW^SulmBm^^' __ ''Wjp 'ffl'n m because it wouldn't mend matters
little lark would jump about and || '^nM^MSBSS^lji\ .—; '/' .y 'J fl in the least, {Kindly.) You must
twitter 1 IJ , ,'7' ^W^^^^^ilr 1 W $ 4? Hi not take this affair too seriously,
Helmer. The inducement would -') \ 'IPPbE^-^^hRli • ' ^ f? i M Wmw Mrs. Heljieb. Get your husband
be stronger but for the fact that, tP\yt\, , l^m^^^^^kj' • 'off MI W/f 4? /Jf/fli to settle it amicably by taking me
as it is, the little lark is generally '1!w7$™6$fi>■. t* ^^Sm-'i-'' ff 'iMMW/m back as Cashier ; then I shall soon
engaged in that particular occu- fS§r ^^Sm^Mtmt--''M'7yr7ipf Jsnfm \Wm get the whip-hand of him, and we
pation. And I really must get rid IIHt'iWlWlP1 ')'■,! / ;'/ 7 ~'\ frfl' J7/ Mlmi'^^l'' shall all be as pleasant and com-
of Keogstad. If I didn't, people <^7 \ \ tffM'*' '•• ^a^Wfm'' '• / V' .__' rj erf ■■Wr/iU. mMK1'' f°rta°le as possible together!
would say I was under the thumb ~^^\^^^^im^HSm kr=r-.—57 ~ <'( ;JF/fl'M /jl/jftl'' Nora. Not even that prospect
of my little squirrel here, and then W^- Pf^WvWKm^^' •' / °~ /W /wfiimSlik can tempt me! Besides, Toevald
Keogstad and I knew each other \; 7 'jlfTljlWB ' / ^7 7' \Ww7\y\ wouldn't have you back at any
in early youth; and when two peo- , ? i1 ',/ , m^W^^^f^^TJ'''' / /. - :.j7fi price now!
pie knew each other in early youth [#| l|fr V $%mgm!y' A - ' ■ i'/iW^ Krogs. All right, then. I have
—(a short pause)—h'm I Besides, JwiWiLJ- \ ^T^S^Si /jmrnQ^L ^7777-^?^^ here a letter, telling your husband
he will address me as, "I say, \ -^^g^5^-r^^---J-^~- a]2_ j wjn take the liberty of
Toevald"—which causes me most , „ t, .., , - . . ., . in .. dropping it in the letter-box at
painful emotion! He is tactless, A Poor fellow Wlth bo+^ {%f ™ tbe ° ra[e 13 ^ the best authority your hall-door as I go out. I '11
dishonest, familiar, and morally 011 the fit of 8llk stockldsa- wish you good evening !
ruined—altogether not at all the kind of person to be a Cashier in
a Bank like mine.
Nora. But he writes in scurrilous papers,—he is on the staff of
the Norwegian Punch. If you dismiss him, he may write nasty
things about you, as wicked people did about poor dear Papa!
Helmer. Your poor dear Papa was not impeccable—far from it.
I am—which makes all the difference. I have here a letter giving
Keogtsad the sack. One of the conveniences of living close to the
Bank is, that I can use the housemaids as Bank-messengers. {Goes
to door and calls.) Ellen ! {Enter parlourmaid.) Take that letter
—there is no answer. (Ellen takes it and goes.) That's settled—
so now, Noba, as I am going to my private room, it will be a capital
opportunity for you to practise the tambourine—thump away, little
lark, the doors are double ! [Nods to her and goes in, shutting door.
Nora {stroking her face). How am I to get out of this mess ! {A
ring at the Visitors' bell.) Dr. Rank's ring! He shall help me out
of it! (Dr. Rank appears in doorway, hanging up his great-coat.)
Dear Dr. Rank, how are you ? [Takes both his hands.
Rank {sitting down near the stove). I am a miserable, hypochon-
driacal wretch—that's what Jam. And why am I doomed to be
dismal ? Why ?_ Because my father died of a tit of the blues! It
that fair—1 put it to you ?
Nora. Do try to be funnier than that ! See, I will show you the
flesh-coloured sdk tights that I am to wear to-night—it will cheer
you up. But you must only look at the feet—well, you may look
at the rest if you 're good. Aren't they lovely ? Will they fit me,
do you think ?
Rank {gloomily). A poor fellow with both feet in the grave is not
the best authority on the fit of silk stockings. I shall be food for
worms before long—I know I shall!
Nora. You mustn't really be so frivolous ! Take that! {She hits
[He goes out; presently the dull sound of a thick letter dropping
into a wire box is heard.
Nora {softly, and hoarsely). He's done it! How am I to prevent
Toevald from seeing it ?
Helmer {inside the door, rattling). Hasn't my lark changed its
dress yet ? (Noba unbolts door.) What—so you are not in fancy
costume, after all ? {Enters with Rank.) Are there any letters for
me in the box there ?
Nora {voicelcssly). None—not even a postcard! Oh, Toevald,
don't, please, go and look—promise me you won't! I do assure
you there isn't a letter ! And I've forgotten the Tarantella you
taught me—do let's run over it. I'm so afraid of breaking down-
promise me not to look at the letter-box. I can't dance unless
you do.
Helmer {standing still, on his way to the letter-box). I am a man
of strict business habits, and some powers of observation ; my little
squirrel's assurances that there is nothing in the box, combined with
her obvious anxiety that I should not go and see for myself, satisfy
me that it is indeed empty, in spite of the fact that I have not in-
variably found her a strictly truthful little dicky-bird. There-
there. {Sits down to piano.) Bang away on your tambourine,
little squirrel— dance away, my own lark I
Nora {dancing, with a long gay shawl). Just won't the little
squirrel! Faster—faster! Oh, I do feel so gay! We will have
some champagne for dinner, won't we, Toevald ?
[Dances with more and more abandonment.
Helmer {after addressing frequent remarks in correction). Come,
come—not this awful wildness ! I don't like to see quite such a
larky little lark as this . . . Really it is time you stopped !
Nora {her hair coming down as she dances more wildly still, and
swings the tambourine). I can't ... I can't! {To herself, as she
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 11, 1891,
MP. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.
{Condensed and Revised Version by Mr. P.'s Own Harmless Ibsenite.)
No. II.-NORA; OR, THE BIRD-CAGE (ET DIKKISYOLT).
Act II.
him lightly on the ear with the stockings; then hums a little.) I
want you to do me a great service, Dr. Rank. [Rolling up stock-
ings.) I always liked you. I love Tobvaxd most, of course—but,
somehow, I 'd rather spend my time with you—you are so amusing!
Rank. If I am, can't you guess why? [A short silence.) Because
I love you ! Yo_. >an't pretend you didn't know it!
Nora. Perhaps not—but it was really too clumsy of you to mention
The Room, with the cheap Art-furniture as before—except that the a just as I was about to ask a favour of you ! It was in the worst
candles on the Christmas-tree have guttered down and appear j taste! (With dignity.) You must not imagine because I joke with
to have been lately blown out. The cotton-wool frogs_ and^ the j you at,0Tlt silk stockings, and tell you things I never tell Toevald,
that I am therefore without the most delicate and scrupulous self-
respect ! I am really quite a good little doll, Dr. Rank, and now—
{sits in rocking-chair and smiles)—now I shan't ask you what I was
going to ! [Ellen comes in with a card.
Nora {terrified). Oh, my goodness ! [Puts it in her pocket.
Dr. Rank. Excuse my easy Norwegian pleasantry—but—h'm—
anything disagreeable up ?
Nora {to herself). Kbogstad's card ! I must tell another whopper!
{To Rank.) No, nothing, only—only my new costume. I want to
chenille monkeys are disarranged, and there are xoalking things
on the sofa. IS! oka alone.
Nora {putting on a cloak and taking it off again). Bother Keog-
stad ! There, 1 won't think of him. I '11 only think of the costume
ball at Consul Stenbobg's, over-head, to-night, where I am to dance
the Tarantella all alone, dressed as a Capri fisher-girl. It struck
Toevald that, as I am a matron with three children, my performance
might amuse the Consul's guests, and, at the same time, increase
his connection at the Bank. Toevald is so practical. {To Mrs.
Linden, who comes in with a large cardboard box.) Ah, Cheistina, j try it on here. I always do try on my dresses in the drawing-room
so you have brought in my old costume ? Would you mind, as my —it's cosier, you know. So go in to Toevald and amuse him till
husband's new Cashier, just doing up the trimming for me ? [ I'm ready.
Mrs. L. Not at all—is it not part of my regular duties? {Saving.) \ [Rank goes into Helmeb's room, and Noea bolts the door upon
Don't you think, Noba, that you see a little too much of Dr. Rank? \ him, as Keogstad enters from hall in a fur cap.
Nora. Oh, I couldn't see too / - ^ Krogs. Well, I've got the sack,
much of Dr. Rank ! He is so__=_ 1 I j $ an<^ 80 ^ came to see now Vou are
amusing—always talking about iMr ■:&.f j f ; y a getting on. I mayn't be a nice
his complaints, and heredity, and 7 : --z7^- ,' ./ j L man, but— {with feeling)—I have a
all sorts of indescribably funny j ^^~N \ o 7 heart! And, as I don't intend to
things. Go away now, dear; I ijj JgML. \ - W' / give up the forged 1.0.17. unless
hear Toevald. | jp*^''^* 7\ r A ' 7i7 7/ I'm taken back, I was afraid you
[Mrs. Linden goes. Enter Ton- ^j»P/|^r AliTzTLy '^j^^t^Li /'''' might be contemplating suicide,
vald from the Manager's room, jlfi ——-/^^m^^^L= - " } 7?~' M^^m^^^ or something of that kind ; and so
Noea runs trippingly to him. |j! W^lwmT^m I' ]■ ^'Tr^^^^^^^^s. I called to tell you that, if I were
Nora {coaxing). Oh, Toevald, lil V-v't\J W^imWrt^i. you, I wouldn't. Bad thin? for the
if only you won't dismiss Kbog- ' 'J ^mSHmmanSk '^mn---fWvk fit complexion, suicide, and silly, too,
st ad, you can't think how your ||| 7 ^WW^SulmBm^^' __ ''Wjp 'ffl'n m because it wouldn't mend matters
little lark would jump about and || '^nM^MSBSS^lji\ .—; '/' .y 'J fl in the least, {Kindly.) You must
twitter 1 IJ , ,'7' ^W^^^^^ilr 1 W $ 4? Hi not take this affair too seriously,
Helmer. The inducement would -') \ 'IPPbE^-^^hRli • ' ^ f? i M Wmw Mrs. Heljieb. Get your husband
be stronger but for the fact that, tP\yt\, , l^m^^^^^kj' • 'off MI W/f 4? /Jf/fli to settle it amicably by taking me
as it is, the little lark is generally '1!w7$™6$fi>■. t* ^^Sm-'i-'' ff 'iMMW/m back as Cashier ; then I shall soon
engaged in that particular occu- fS§r ^^Sm^Mtmt--''M'7yr7ipf Jsnfm \Wm get the whip-hand of him, and we
pation. And I really must get rid IIHt'iWlWlP1 ')'■,! / ;'/ 7 ~'\ frfl' J7/ Mlmi'^^l'' shall all be as pleasant and com-
of Keogstad. If I didn't, people <^7 \ \ tffM'*' '•• ^a^Wfm'' '• / V' .__' rj erf ■■Wr/iU. mMK1'' f°rta°le as possible together!
would say I was under the thumb ~^^\^^^^im^HSm kr=r-.—57 ~ <'( ;JF/fl'M /jl/jftl'' Nora. Not even that prospect
of my little squirrel here, and then W^- Pf^WvWKm^^' •' / °~ /W /wfiimSlik can tempt me! Besides, Toevald
Keogstad and I knew each other \; 7 'jlfTljlWB ' / ^7 7' \Ww7\y\ wouldn't have you back at any
in early youth; and when two peo- , ? i1 ',/ , m^W^^^f^^TJ'''' / /. - :.j7fi price now!
pie knew each other in early youth [#| l|fr V $%mgm!y' A - ' ■ i'/iW^ Krogs. All right, then. I have
—(a short pause)—h'm I Besides, JwiWiLJ- \ ^T^S^Si /jmrnQ^L ^7777-^?^^ here a letter, telling your husband
he will address me as, "I say, \ -^^g^5^-r^^---J-^~- a]2_ j wjn take the liberty of
Toevald"—which causes me most , „ t, .., , - . . ., . in .. dropping it in the letter-box at
painful emotion! He is tactless, A Poor fellow Wlth bo+^ {%f ™ tbe ° ra[e 13 ^ the best authority your hall-door as I go out. I '11
dishonest, familiar, and morally 011 the fit of 8llk stockldsa- wish you good evening !
ruined—altogether not at all the kind of person to be a Cashier in
a Bank like mine.
Nora. But he writes in scurrilous papers,—he is on the staff of
the Norwegian Punch. If you dismiss him, he may write nasty
things about you, as wicked people did about poor dear Papa!
Helmer. Your poor dear Papa was not impeccable—far from it.
I am—which makes all the difference. I have here a letter giving
Keogtsad the sack. One of the conveniences of living close to the
Bank is, that I can use the housemaids as Bank-messengers. {Goes
to door and calls.) Ellen ! {Enter parlourmaid.) Take that letter
—there is no answer. (Ellen takes it and goes.) That's settled—
so now, Noba, as I am going to my private room, it will be a capital
opportunity for you to practise the tambourine—thump away, little
lark, the doors are double ! [Nods to her and goes in, shutting door.
Nora {stroking her face). How am I to get out of this mess ! {A
ring at the Visitors' bell.) Dr. Rank's ring! He shall help me out
of it! (Dr. Rank appears in doorway, hanging up his great-coat.)
Dear Dr. Rank, how are you ? [Takes both his hands.
Rank {sitting down near the stove). I am a miserable, hypochon-
driacal wretch—that's what Jam. And why am I doomed to be
dismal ? Why ?_ Because my father died of a tit of the blues! It
that fair—1 put it to you ?
Nora. Do try to be funnier than that ! See, I will show you the
flesh-coloured sdk tights that I am to wear to-night—it will cheer
you up. But you must only look at the feet—well, you may look
at the rest if you 're good. Aren't they lovely ? Will they fit me,
do you think ?
Rank {gloomily). A poor fellow with both feet in the grave is not
the best authority on the fit of silk stockings. I shall be food for
worms before long—I know I shall!
Nora. You mustn't really be so frivolous ! Take that! {She hits
[He goes out; presently the dull sound of a thick letter dropping
into a wire box is heard.
Nora {softly, and hoarsely). He's done it! How am I to prevent
Toevald from seeing it ?
Helmer {inside the door, rattling). Hasn't my lark changed its
dress yet ? (Noba unbolts door.) What—so you are not in fancy
costume, after all ? {Enters with Rank.) Are there any letters for
me in the box there ?
Nora {voicelcssly). None—not even a postcard! Oh, Toevald,
don't, please, go and look—promise me you won't! I do assure
you there isn't a letter ! And I've forgotten the Tarantella you
taught me—do let's run over it. I'm so afraid of breaking down-
promise me not to look at the letter-box. I can't dance unless
you do.
Helmer {standing still, on his way to the letter-box). I am a man
of strict business habits, and some powers of observation ; my little
squirrel's assurances that there is nothing in the box, combined with
her obvious anxiety that I should not go and see for myself, satisfy
me that it is indeed empty, in spite of the fact that I have not in-
variably found her a strictly truthful little dicky-bird. There-
there. {Sits down to piano.) Bang away on your tambourine,
little squirrel— dance away, my own lark I
Nora {dancing, with a long gay shawl). Just won't the little
squirrel! Faster—faster! Oh, I do feel so gay! We will have
some champagne for dinner, won't we, Toevald ?
[Dances with more and more abandonment.
Helmer {after addressing frequent remarks in correction). Come,
come—not this awful wildness ! I don't like to see quite such a
larky little lark as this . . . Really it is time you stopped !
Nora {her hair coming down as she dances more wildly still, and
swings the tambourine). I can't ... I can't! {To herself, as she