Punch: Punch (100.1891)

174 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Apbil 11, 1891,

PICTURE SUNDAY.

(What Our Artist has to put up with.)
Fair Damsel [to Our Artist, who is explaining the beauties of his Picture), " Charming I Charming! But, oh, Mb. FitzMadder,

what a DELIGHTFUL room this would be for a dance,—with the musicians in thb gallery, and all the easels and

Pictures and Things cleared away I"

A PAIR EXCHANGE.

Hosea Biglow speaks up on the situation : —

Hf.be we stan.' on the Constitution, by thunder I
State rights won't be hurried by any one's
hoofs;

Umberto, old hoss, would you like, I wonder,
To 'pologise first, and then bring up yer
proofs ?

Uncle Sam is free, and he sez, sez he :—
" The Mafia's no more
Right to come to this shore,

No more'n the Molly Maguires," sez he.

Uncle Sam ain't no kind o' bisness with
nothin'

Like stabs in the back,—that may do for
slaves.

We ain't none riled by their frettin' an' fro thin'
"Who shriek, in Uitalian, across the waves.
Uncle Sam is free, but he sez, sez he :—

" He will put down his foot

On the right to shoot
As claimed by the Mafia gang ! " sez he.

Freedom's keystone is Law, yes; that there's
no doubt on,
It's sutthin that's—wha' d'ye call it?—
divine,—

The brutes who break it hain't nutthin' to
boast on

On your side or mine o' the see thin' brine.
Uncle Sam is free, and he sez, sez he :—

" If assassins gang 'em

I'm game to hang 'em,
An' so git rid on 'em soon," sez he.

'Tis well for sleek cits for to lounge on their

soffies,

And chat about "Law and Order," an' sich.
A formula pleasant for them in office,

Home-stayin' idlers, well-guarded rich.
Uncle Sam is free, but he sez, sez he: —
" Whar life's a fight,
Law, based on right,
May need the ' strong arm' of a Man," sez he.

Now don't go to say I'm the friend of force ;
Best keep all your spare breath for coolin'
your broth;
And when just Law has a fair clar course,
All talk of "wild justice" is frenzy and
froth. m

Uncle Sam is free, but he sez, sez he : —

" If he gits within hail

Of the Glan-na-Gael,j
Or the Mafia either, he shoots," sez he.

This ain't no matter for sauce or swagger —
Too summary judgment both scout, I
hope ;

Though ef it 'b a chice betwixt rope and
dagger,

I can't help say in' I prefer the rope.
Uncle Sam is free, and he sez, sez he ;—

" At a pinch I '11 not flinch

From a touch of Lynch,—
That is—at a very hard pinch ! " sez he.

But Lynch Law, Umberto, or Secret Society,
Both are bad, though the latter's wust;

We '11 soon get shut of either variety,
You and me, Umberto, or so I trust.

Uncle Sam is free, but he sez, sez he : —

" Assassination
Won't build a nation,
Nor yet the wwlegalised rope," sez he.

Withdraw your Ambassador ! Wal, that air
summary I
Italian irons so soon git hot!

Ironclads ? Sure that's mere militant flum-
mery.

Don't want to rile, but I '11 tell you what:
Uncle Sam is free, but he sez, sez he :—
" Let Faya stay,
Take the Mafia away,
And we '11 call it a right square deal I" sez he.

Presented at Court.—Acting upon the
suggestions made in these columns a week ago,
the Author of The Volcano, and the company
of the Court Theatre have effected the most
valuable alterations in the play of the evening.
The Second Act now concludes with the inter-
rupted singing of The Wolf, which brings
down the Curtain with a roar of laughter, and
the Third Act is also generally improved.
Mrs. John Wood is seen at her best as the
interviewing lady-journalist, which is con-
densing in a sentence a volume of praise.
Mr. Arthur Cecil, as the Luke, is equally
admirable; and Mr. Weedon Grossmith,
although scarcely in his element as a Member
of Parliament of noble birth, is distinctly
amusing. Altogether, The Volcano causes ex-
plosions of merriment in all parts of the house,
and has entirely escaped the once-impending
danger of fizzling out like a damp squib.