Punch (100.1891)

20* PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 25, 1891.

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTEACTED EROM THE DIAEY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday Night, April 13.—So Ion? since Lord
Stalbridge parted company from Richard Grosvenor that he
forgets manners and customs of House of Commons. Not being
satisfied with choice made by Committee of Selection of certain
Members on Committee dealing: with Railway Rates and Charges,
Stalbridge writes peremptory letter to Chairman, giving him
severe wigging; correspondence gets into newspapers; House of
Commons, naturally enough, very angry. Not going to stand
this sort of thing from a mere Peer, even though he be Chair-
man of North-Western Railway. Talk of making it case of privi-
lege. Sort of thing expected to be taken up from Front Bench,
or by Whitbrtad, or some other Member of standing. Some-
how, whilst thing being thought over and talked about, Sixion
undertakes to see it tbrough. As soon as questions over to-
night, rises from below Gangway, and in his comically impressive
manner, announces intention of putting certain questions to John
Mowbray, Chairman of Committee of Selection. Ordinary man
would have put his questions and sat down. But this a great
occasion for Sexton. Domestic difficulties in Irish Party kept him
away from Westminster for many weeks. No opportunity for
Windbag to come into action; now is the time, as champion of
privileges of House of Commons. Position one of some difficulty.
Not intending to conclude with a Motion, he would be out of order in
making a speech. Could only ask question. Question couldn't possibly
extend over two minutes ; two minutes, nothing" with the Windbag
full, bursting after compulsory quiescence since Parliament opened.

Sexton managed admirably; kept one eye on Speaker, who
from time to time moved uneasily in chair. Whenever he looked
like going to interrupt, Sexton lapsed into interrogatory, which put
him in order; then went on again, patronising John Mowbray,
posing as champion of privileges of House, and so thoroughly enjoying
himself, that only a particularly cantankerous person could have
complained. Still, it was a little long. "This isn't Sexton's
funeral, is it?" Harcotjrt asked, in loud whisper.

"No," said Campbell-Bannerm an ; "it was meant to be

Stalbridge's ; but I fancy
Sexton will save him from
full inconvenience of the cere-
mony."

So it turned out; House
tired of business long before
Windbag Sexton had blown
himself out. Poor John Mow-
bray admittedly flabber-
ghasted by the interminable
string of questions under
which Sexton had tried to
disguise his speech. Stal-
bridge got off without direct
censure, and Donald Cam-
eron abruptly turned the con-
versation in the direction of
Opium.

Business done. — In Com-
mittee on Irish Land Bill.

House of Lords, Tuesday.
— Lords met to-night after
Easter Recess ; come together
with a feeling that since last
they met a gap been made in
their ranks that can never be
filled. The gentle Granville's
spat is occupied by another.
L Cameron Man. Never more will the Peers look

upon his kindly face, or hear
his lisping voice uttering bright thoughts in exquisite phrase.

Kimbeklky sits where he was wont to lounge. K. a good safe
man ; one of the rare kind whose reputation stands highest with the
innermost circle of those who work and live with him. To the out-
side world, the man in the street, Kimbebley is an expression ; some
not quite sure whether he isn't a territory in South Africa Known
in the Lords, of course ; listened to with respect, much as Hallam's
Constitutional History of England is occasionally read. But when to-
night he rises from Grais ville's seat and makes a speech that, with
readjustment of circumstance, Granville himself would have made,
an assembly not emotional feels with keen pang how much it has lost.

The Markiss should be here. Perhaps for himself it is as well
he's away. To him, more than anyone else in the House, the newly
filled space on the Bench opposite is of direful import. The Markiss
has no peer now Granville is gone ; the two were in all charac-
teristics and mental attitudes absolutely opposed, and yet, like oil
and vinegar, the mixing perfected the salad of debate. The
lumbering figure of the black-visaged Marquis at one side of the

table talking at large to the House, but with his eye fixed on
Granville ; at the other, the dapper figure, with its indescribable
air of old-fashioned gentlemanhood, the light of his smile shed
impartially on the benches opposite, but his slight bow reserved for
the Markiss, as, leaning across the table, he pinked him under the
fifth rib with glittering rapier—this is a sight that will never more
gladden the eye in the House of Lords. Granville was the comple-
ment of _ the Markiss ; the Markiss was to Granville an incentive
to his bitter-sweetness. Never again will they meet to touch shield
with lance across the table in the Lords. Ltcidas is dead, not ere
his prime, it is true ;

" But, 0 the heavy change, now thou art gone,
Now thou art gone, and never must return ! "
It seemed in stumbling inadequate phrase that Cranbrook,
Kimberley, Derby, and Selborne strummed their lament. Bat^
speaking from different points of view, without pre-concert, they
struck the same chord in recognising the ever unruffled gentleness of
the nature of Lycidas—a gentleness not born of weakness, a sweet-
ness of disposition that did not unwholesomely cloy. Only Mr. G.
could have fitly spoken the eulogy of Granville. After him, the
task belonged to the Markiss, and it was a
pity that circumstances prevented his un-
dertaking it. Business done.—Irish Land
Bill in Commons.

Wednesday.—Brer Fox turned up to-
day, unexpectedly. So did Maurice
Healy, even more unexpectedly. Irish
Sunday Closing Bill under discussion.
Great bulk of Irish Members in favour of it.
First note of discord introduced by Wind-
bag Sexton. Belfast Publicans, who find
their business threatened, insist that he shall
oppose the Bill; does so accordingly, sepa-
rating himself from his party. Brer Fox
quietly seized the opportunity; he, too, on
the side of the Publicans, who hold the
purse, and, money (like some of their cus-
tomers) is tight. So Parnell lavishly com-
pliments Windbag Sexton on his "large
and patriotic view" ; hisses out his scorn
for the Liberal Party ; declares that Ire-
land abhors the measure, which he calls
a New Coercion Bill.

Then, from bench below him, uprises a
bent, slight figure, looking less like a man
of war than most things, A low, quiet
voice, sounds clearly through the House,
and Mr. Maurice Healy is discovered
denying Brer Fox's right to speak on this <( The miidest-mannered
or any other public question for the con- Man."
stituency of Cork.

"If he has any doubt on this subject," the mild-looking young
man continued, "let him keep the promise he made to me about
contesting the seat."

That was all; only two sentences; but the thundering cheers that
rang through House told how they had gone home.

Business done.—Irish Sunday Closing Bill read Second Time.

Friday. — Grandolph looked in for few
minutes before dinner. A little difficulty with
doorkeeper. So disguised under beard, that
failed to recognise him; thought he was a
stranger, bound for the Gallery. But when
Grandolph turned, and glared on him, saw his
mistake as in a flash of lightning.

"Same eyes, anyhow," said Mr. Jarratt,
getting back to the safety of his chair with
alacrity.

Grandolph sat awhile in corner seat, stroking
his beard, to the manifest chagrin of his jdted
moustache.

"Awfully dull," he said. " Glad I'm off to
other climes ; don't know whether I shall come
back at all. If Mashonaland wants a King, and
insists upon my acoepting the Crown, not sure
I shall refuse."

"Grandolph seems hipped," said Waring,
watchinsr him as he swung through the Lobby.
"It's the beard. Never been the same man
since he grew it.

" There was a Young Man with a beard,
Who said, ' It is just as I feared !
Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard.' "
2£ Business done— Committee on Irish Land Bill

Dropping into Poetry, again.

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