Punch: Punch (100.1891)

PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 215

IBSEN IN BRIXTON.

Mrs, Harris, "Yes, William, I've thought a deal about it, and I find I'm nothing
but your Doll and Dickey-Bird, and so I'm going !"

May 2, 1891.]

UPON APBIC'S SHORE;

Ob., The Battle op the Heroes.
[Nut by the Author of '1 The Battle of Limerick.")

Ye lovers of the nation,
Who burn with indignation,
And England's obfuscation perpetually de-
plore ;

Ye flouters of our factions,
And partisan distractions.
How like ye the transactions upon Afric's
shore ?

Ye've all heard of the Lion
Who a rival cast his eye on,
(You '11 find him in Bombastes) and thought the
brute a bore.
Such rival Leos flourish,
And mutual hatred nourish,
With a snapping almost currish, upon Afric's
shore.

Faith their manes are always waving,
And their claws for contest craving,
And their forms are always rampant, and
they 're ever at full roar,
And in book and morning paper,
They still clapperclaw and caper,
And they worry, snarl and vapour about
Afric's shore.

There was Emin, sage pacific,
The serene and scientific,
Who a wondrous reputation in a hero-
patriot bore,
Until " rescued" by brave Stanley,
Who declared him weak, unmanly.
Oh! 'tis strange how heroes can lie about
Afric's shore.

Then Barttelot and Trout,
Jephson, Jameson—a group I
Who each of each "made soup"—off each
other tried to score ;
And in many a verjuiced " vollum "
Stanley's jovial " Rear Column "
Was discussed in manner solemn, anent
Afric's shore.

Then the ".foreign element"
To it tooth and nail they went,
And the Battle of the Heroes it grew livelier
than before.
Now that man, and now this man,
Now De Brazza and now Wissmann,
Made it hot for poor Old England upon
Afric's shore.

Now comes Peters ! He has slanged
Stanley awfully, and banged
The "Pvescue" party badly. It is getting a
big bore,
When, with tempers hot as Indies,
Heroes smash each other's win dies,
Pursuing of their shindies about Afric's
Bhore.

It is doubtless " moighty fine,"

Being what Titmarsh called " a line,"
And it does Society's " sowl" good (no doubt)
to hear him roar;

But 'tis folly to suppose

He must rush upon his foes,
And hit them on the nose, upon Afric's shore.

Early Closing Movement.—When Mr.
Smith proposed shutting up shop early on
Tuesdays and Fridays, Sir Robert Fowler
was all for singing, " We won't go home till
morning {three times), Till daylight doth
appear." But, as Falstaff asks, " What doth
gravity out of bed after midnight ? " No, Sir
Robert, doughty knieht, take good advice,
and hie thee, armed Night-cap-d-pie, to thy
couch. Don't get up till morning, Till (long
after) daylight doth appear !

THE PARTY PETER BELL.

A Potterer, Sir, he was by trade,

A Party Potterer, much respected,
And every year, when Spring appeared,
The yellow blooms, to bards endeared,
In swarms by Peter were collected.

He roved among the vales and streams,

In the green wood and hollow dell,
And, upon April's nineteenth day,
Big buttonholers made display
Upon the heart of Peter Bell.

In vain through each succeeding year
Did Nature mourn her lessening store.

A Primrose on the river's brim

A Party emblem was to him,
And it was nothing more!

Disinfecting the Wigs. — " L'Enfant
Prodigue," which is filling the Prince of
Wales's Theatre day and night, has much

in it that is delightful. Perhaps there is
nothing quite excels the subtle touch in the
programme where it is written : " The theatre
is disinfected by the Sanitas Company,
Limited. The Wigs by Clarkson."

Curious, and "More Anon!"—The Evelyn
v. Hurlbert trial was as full of literary in-
terest as a sale of old books and manuscripts.
Specially valuable were copies of Evelyn's
Diary; while, in spite of the pressing de-
mand, Murray's Memoirs were uncommonly
scarce. Victorious Mr. Hurlbert ! Yet for
all his triumph, he will be, for some time, a
"very much Murray'd man."

A Savoy Question.—The general idea of
the forthcoming new Opera at the Savoy
appears to be "all Dance to Solomon's music."
Is it to be a pantomime-drama, like L''Enfant
Prodigue, or simply a ballet ? If neither,
where do song-words and dialogue come in ?