Punch: Punch (100.1891)

264 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 30, 1891,

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FEOM THE DIAET OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Thursday, May 21.—House resumed to-day,
after so-called Whitsun holidays. Weren't to have come hack till
Monday. Old Morality settled that before he went off to Southern

climes. Bat
next day
"Windbag
Sexton and
Jokim got to
loggerheads.
Windbag in-
sisted that
Committee
should spe-
cially sit to
hear him move
new Clause.
Jokim demur-
red ; pointed
out that
luxury might
he enjoyed by
House only
upon condi-
tion of short-
ening holi-
days. Wind-
bag didn't see
any objection
to that; sure
House only
too glad to
give up half
its holiday in
order to hear

Toby'b Eemedy for Influenza. few more

speeches from

him. Jokim, meaning to frighten Windbag, said, "Very well:
then we'll adjourn till Thursday." Windbag, not believing Jokim
was serious, said he didn't care; game of bluff commenced ;
played so awkwardly that, in end, House jockeyed out of half its
holiday.

But Old Morality got all his; off before this blundering business
took place; too far gone to be called back. Campb ell-B annerman
suggests that we shall change his
name; call him "The Judicious
Hooker," Certainly he "hooked
it" a day before holidays commenced,
and won't return till several days
after they have prematurely closed.
Still remnant of House hereto-night,
though growling and discontented,
does not grudge him his holiday.

More than half Members on both
sides away ill. The Whips severely
hit; _ Marjoribanks here as usual,
making a bright space in the lobby
with his genial presence and his
smiling countenance. But Akers-
Douglas still away with most of his
men, including the Mountainous Hill.

"Yes," his man is reported to
have said, in reply to inquiries,
"Lord Arthur is still Hill, but
gettin' better."

Only cheerful man on the premises
is Plunket. Beaming with health ;
glowing with vitality.

" The secret of it ? " he said, when
I asked him how he managed to
look so well. "Why, it's exercise
and fumigation. _ Whilst you fellows
have been making holiday, I 7ve Lord Arthur 'LI—but getting
stuck to the House night and day. better.
I've fumigated every chamber with sulphur ; 1 've sprinkled every
wall with eucalyptozone. The tiled floors I have washed with
carbolic-soap, and the libraries I have purified with Thiocamp.
It was a little stiff at first; but, as Mr. Q. says, there's no rest like
variety of occupation. When I got tired of Eucalyptozone, I
turned to with Thiocamp, and then went throush a course of
taking up carpets and thumping hair-cushions. Quite sorry it's
over."

Business done,—In Committee on Land Purchase Bill.

Friday, — " Do _ you like Ibsen P" Attobnet-Genebal for
Ireland asked Prince Abthub just now, d propos of new Clause
moved by Sexton.
Curious man is Madden. Lives a sort of dual life. In House
regarded as serious person, steeped in knowledge
of Irish Que stion in its multiform aspects. Really
a fin-de-siecle Attorney-General; knows every-
thing ; is in everything ; acquainted with Ibsen,
misses few bazaars or drawing-room concerts,
and was on speaking terms with the late Madame
Blayatsky.

"Do you like Hedda Gablerf" he con-
tinued, nudging Prince Arthur, who on this,
the hundred-and-third night in Committee on
the Irish Land Bill, showed signs of drowsiness.

"Haven't time to go to the theatre," said
Prince Abthub. " Never perform out of West-
minster, where we keep our own
Hkadache Gabbler on the premises " ;
and he looked wearily across at Sex-
ton monotonously piping, not without
dread suspicion of the Windbag having
been newly leathered.

But the end comes to the man who
lives to wait, and to-night, at twenty
minutes past ten, Lewis Pelly sitting
bolt upright, awakened out of peaceful
slumber by a sudden cheer; knew
that the Land Bill was at last through
Committee.
Business done,—Land Bill through
Pelly-Melly. Committee.

NOTES ON THE ROYAL ACADEMY OE 2091.

'1 Richard, Duke of Gloucester, refusing the Crown." This picture
will be interesting to the historical student, as it affords a solution
to a knotty point that has puzzled commentators for the last five
centuries. The wily humpback is represented in his dressing-gown
and slippers, having evidently been called from his bath to listen to
the suggestion of the courtiers, who desire him to accept the regal
dignity. The umbrella of the Lord Mayor, we fancy, is of a later
date than the supposed period of the painting, but no doubt the
artist has authority for the introduction of the quaint old lamp-post
illumined with the electric light, which began to be used some little
time after the Battle of the Roses.

" Charles the Second in the Oak." This is also interesting to
those who delight in folklore. According to the legend (for no
doubt the story was merely a legend), the deposed monarch was es-
caping from the Parliamentary troops, when he had to seek shelter in
the spreading branches of the tree that still is emblematic of England.
The artist has placed the leafy refuge near a stream, where Chakles
seems to have been bathing. A tragic side (not entirely free from
quaintness) is given to the tale by the discovery of the temporarily dis-
carded wearing apparel of the Stuabt by the soldiers, who are hunt-
ing him to the death. Charles, with his traditional good humour, is
smiling at an accident which causes him seemingly more amusement
than apprehension.

" The Battle of Trafalgar." The very clever arrangement of
smoke in this painting prevents the flesh-tints of the sailors from
assuming a prominence that might be objectionable to persons of
fastidious tastes. No doubt the artist felt that, if he had studied the
traditions of the British Navy at the commencement of the nine-
teenth or twentieth century (the battle was fought in that period),
he would have shown the gallant tars serving the guns in a costume
not more elaborate than that assumed by the nude inhabitants of the
North Pole. It is amusing to note in this connection that, until the
discovery of the summit of the earth, it was supposed that the centre
of the Arctic Regions was bitterly cold. Our ancestors in the re-
mote ages had no idea that that
fiery region was, in reality, hotter
than the tropics !

" Portrait of an English Gentle-
man of the Nineteenth Century."
—We are not quite sure that we like
the unconventional treatment of the
accessories in this picture. It is
perfectly true that we find from con-
temporary records that an invitation
to dinner was frequently accompanied
by the expressed wish that the guest
"was not to dress ; " but still such "Hullo, Sunny! where were
hints at the strange manners and you on Whit Monday ?"
customs of a bygone age may be I " Why, off for my Bank Holi-
carried out too literally. day, to be sure ! "

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