Punch (37.1859)

July 23, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

35

unprofitable combat, bad asked for negotiations, succumbed to Austrian
dictation, and submitted to leave the double-headed Eagle in posses-
sion of the terrible Quadrilateral aforesaid,—to replace the creatures
of Austria on the petty thrones from which they had been shaken, and
so to end the war; a ridiculous and ephemeral juggle of a Papal
Presidency of Confederated Italy, and the handing over a portion of
Lombardy to the King of Sardinia (whose Minister, Count C-avour,
retires in disgust), being the dust to be thrown in the eyes of such of
the inhabitants of Europe as took off their spectacles after a certain
Second of December. Populus vult decipi, decipiatur, is to be the
device for the Tuileries illuminations. The news was duly announced
to the Lords and the Commons.

Loud Lyndhuest got a Select Committee to consider how justice
is baffled by the ridiculous mode of taking Chancery evidence. The
Commons declined to allow a Scotch parson, named Grieve, to trans-
figure himself into an English parson. Lokd John Russell had not
decided whether he would let the Queen accept the Eeejee Islands.
Mr. Chisholm Anstey’s case, brought on by Me. Edwin James, has
really something in it, and seems to disclose some awful rascality at
ITong Kong; but the Duke of Newcastle had not had time to read
the papers. Me. Cocheane made an attempt to get rid of some of
the hardships of the Civil Examination system, which brutally insists
that a young gentleman, in describing himself, shall not begin Jackass
with a G; but Kockeein, as one of his proteges would probably write
it, failed. On the appointment of two Committees, the usual, row was
made by the Irish, and then came part of the Howling Shindy pre-
dicted by Mr. Punch, touching the Bill for permitting a Catholic to be
Irish Chancellor. Government supported the Bill, and the debate
stood over, after some good firing; nobody, of course, except Exeter
Hall, being in the least in earnest, and Exeter Hall being in earnest
only in wanting to spite the Papishes.

Wednesday. Beligion—that is to say, Church-rates—all day. Sik
John Trelawney’s Abolition Bill on for second reading; and, after a
decorous fight by the Conservatives, and some unblushing Ratting
(which is politely called submitting your own opinion to that of;
others) by Palmerston and John Russell, such second reading was !
carried by 263 to 193, in about which proportion the Bill will be
rejected by the Lords.

Thursday. Lord Campbell introduced a very unnecessary Bill, for
the purpose of letting attorneys loose upon the public at the end of
three, instead of five, years’ study, if they have graduated at a
university. However, solicitors who get on by Degrees are usually
preferred to those who get suddenly rich. The Duke of .Newcastle
stated that Government intended to refuse to renew the licence to the
Hudson’s Bay Company, who are a sort of modern incarnation of the
feudal game system, and endeavour to keep an enormous territory
I clear of human beings, in order to promote the breed of animals whose
skins will sell. The Duke of Somerset explained that we are not to
look at our mercantile steamers as possible war-ships.

In the Commons, after some practical discussion touching the
Indian army. Supply came on again, and all the Navy Estimates were
disposed of, the debate pleasantly finishing with a row between Sie j
J. Graham and Sir C. Napier on the old. subject, the Baltic fleet. ■
“ He man the Eleet! ” exclaimed Charley, in a rage: “there never
was a fleet sent to sea in such a disgraceful state! ” And he demanded
leave to read to the House his enemy’s private letters, which, Sir
James retorted, the impolite Admiral had already done. Sidney
j Herbert then moved the Army Estimates,—made a very good state-
ment, and got several votes on account of about £12,000,000 which he
means to have for the soldiers.

[_Mr. Punch was leaving the House, soon after two on Friday morning,
when the odour of the abominable river came upon him in a foul flood.
He staggered, and was carried by Lord Palmerston, Lord John
| Russell, and Mr. Disraeli to his carriage. After some minutes he
felt a little better, thank you, but owed it to himself and the world
| immediately.to leave town for his beautiful country seat, where he is at
: present staying with his attached family.]

Morality Rewarded,

It was but a few days ago that it was announced, apropos of the
Quadrilateral, that Austria.was going, for the first time, to “deal on
the Square.” See how Yirtue prospers! No sooner has she taken
this course, than the War ends, and she saves nearly every pound of
her Italian bacon. Who would not be virtuous ?

“ THE EDUCATED CLASSES.”

Can the pet3 ol Lord Malmesbury, who at an examination cannot
pass from getting impaled on their own pothooks and hangers, be
supposed to belong to the “ educated section ? ” If they do belong to
the class, we will wager they are at the bottom of it.

FIGURES AMONGST FLOWERS.

In the tropical aquarium in Kew Gardens (which can now be ad-
mired in all their gay holiday attire, and are visited by thousands of
happy droppers-in every day—only what a pity it is that their beauties
are not visible until One o’clock p .M., as though Nature were a
coquette, whose toilette would not possibly allow her to “receive” at
an earlier hour!) there may be seen a fine specimen of that most won-
derful of all vegetable productions, the lace, or lattice-leaf, plant of
Madagascar. Ladies, who have an educated eye for lace-work, are
particularly recommended to pay it a visit. We suppose young Mada-
gascarine brides wear veils and entire dresses made of this particular
lace, on their wedding-days, and doubtlessly fancy it as becoming as
Yalenciennes, or the most pointed production ot Brussells. We are
told that this plant has been largely copied by artificial florists, and
that many millions of leaves have been made and moulded into wreaths,
garlands, and chaplets. It has produced considerable profit to the
manufacturers, who have named it “the skeleton-leaf.” We should
have preferred a more flowery name. It isn’t a pretty notion to wreathe
round the brow of Beauty a coronal with such an anatomical association
of ideas. Fancy the head of your beloved smothered in skeleton-
leaves ! However, it is too much to expect poetry and millinery too
from a manufacturer. If the flowers of his imagination were not as
artificial as the others he sells, the contrast might be injurious to his
business. We should have thought rather that it had been the poor
milliners, who realise starvation prices only by their needles, who
had given this plant the ironical name of the “ skeleton-leaf.” In j
their bitterness and want, they must mockingly think that the thread j
of their existence could have been made out of no other leaf.

FIYE-AND-TWENTY YEARS OF A PARLIAMENTARY LIFE.

At a Einsbury dinner (Finsbury ought to be doubly blest, for it can
boast, now of its “Pet,” and its Peto), Me. T. Duncombe, after
alluding to his five-and-twenty years of Parliamentary services, said:—

“ Of all things he desired to see before terminating Ms political career, was one
more, good, honest, liberal Reform measure carried through Parliament.”

We only wish that Mr. Duncombe may live to see the full accom-
plishment of what his heart desires. A good old age would evidently
be in store for him. “ You owe me sixpence, Paddy,” said Sir Walter
Scott, good humouredly, to a beggar, when he gave him a shilling in
the absence of smaller change. “And may your Honour live till I pav
ou,” was Paddy’s reply. Parliament owes us a Reform Bill,—and,
orrowing the beggar’s ejaculation, may Mr. Duncombe and all of us
live,-say we, until Parliament has paid us! What Old Parrs and
Nestors we shall be !