Punch (37.1859)

46

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 30, 1859.

“ OH, THAT I WERE IN THAT BALCONY!”

Wish expressed by little Tom Tit, as iie Walked in the Tightest of Boots, on the Opposite side of the Street.

THE MILLENNIUM ARRIVED.

From Alps to Adriatic
Now Italy is free,

Though not quite democratic
As she may wish to be;

In Venice though remaining,

^ The Kaiser keeps a throne;

The Pope anew name gaining,

And holding still his own.

All Europe’s flaws are mended,

And France has won renown;

All quarrels are well ended.

So we shall settle down.

The master of the regions
That lie next Britain’s land.

Will have no work for legions
Which he ’ll, of course, disband.

All sorts of swords and sabres
To ploughshares we shall turn,

Because, our good French neighbours
War will no longer learn.

All guns, now Discord’s stifled,

And Peace prevails at last.

Instead of being rifled,

For boilers will be cast.

No national defences
Requiring for our shores.
To pay their past expenses,
We’ll sell off all our stores.
Avoiding new taxation;

Hope told a flattering tale :
Oh, fond imagination!

How very like a whale!

Palpable.

Two men were convicted, on a recent
Friday, by Mr. Broughton, of having
endeavoured to obtain money from the
Marquis of Westminster ! The poor
demented wretches t have _ been sent to a
criminal prison. Where is the Lunatics’
Friend Society ? Where is the gallant
Charles Reade ?

A Rose without Thorns.—A Woman
Without Nails.

How to Sweat Sovereigns.

This process is done most effectually by a series of revolutions fol-
lowing closely one upon another. A long line of sovereigns has been
j known to disappear in this way very quickly. The Bourbon dynasty
; in France vanished entirely by means of this process—and so com-
pletely that there is not a feature of them left in the country, excepting
m some old antiquarian’s museum.

The Knife and the Lancet.

A Pork butcher, be it respectfully said, is so far in advance of the
medical knowledge of the age, inasmuch as he both kills and cures.
Now, it is rare indeed that a doctor can achieve more than one of
those delicate operations successfully at a time; at all events, there is
no living proof of the two having ever been performed completely to
the patient’s satisfaction.