Punch (37.1859)

180

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[October 29, 1859.

LOOK IN HIS FACE.

ur Ladies have a humble
habit of saying that they
are “ always willing to
learn,” and though this
statement is usually vouch-
safed in a tone not exactly
that of submission, but in
way about equivalent

to “ Now then, Mr. Cle-
ver,” it is the part of a
well-natured man to accept
the declaration, without
regard to the mode in
which it is delivered.
Therefore, the following
advice from Mr. Bingham,
the esteemed Beak, may
be tendered with all de-
ference. That worthy Ma-
gistrate had before him a
cabman, charged with be-
ing drunk, and driving
over Mrs. Dixon, in Re-
gent Street. The offender’s
defence was, that Mss.
Dixon suddenly stopped
in the middle of the road
as she was crossing. The
Magistrate did not think
this act, aggravating as it
might be to the feelings
of a cabman (who, like one
of Mu. Surtees’s coach-
men, “ considered the
street belonged to him so
long as he wanted to use
it ”), quite sufficient to
authorise Mr. Blore, the
driver in question, in going smack over the woman and breaking her ancle. Moreover,
Mrs. Dixon explained that there was no undue desire on her part to take the liberty of
crossing the road, inasmuch as she had waited ten minutes for a clear path. So Mr.

Bingham, in his turn, drove over the cabman, with the following prelude

“Mb. Bingham said he gave Mrs. Dixon great credit for having waited before attempting to cross, a
thing very unusual with females, they generady running across without looking. Persons walking across a
road should always walk deliberately, and as if they had a right to do so. and should never run, as it threw
drivers into difficulties. They should walk firmly across the street, look the driver in the face, and they
might depend upon it that he would pull up.”

After this lit tle explanation of the Social Science of going over a crossing, Mr. Bingham
gave Mr. Blore a month of hard labour in prison, by way of a hint that the streets are
made for everybody, and that a cabman “is not everybody,” as the phrase goes, though lie
does “consider himself most people,” as the other phrase goes.

Reproducing Mr. Bingham’s advice, Mr. Punch would add, that if every one of the lovely
beings whom lie sees in Regent Street and elsewhere is going to look drivers straight in the
face, he shall turn cabman immediately, and he hereby orders the Somerset-house people to
send him a badge, in a mauve velvet case, by twelve o’clock on Saturday next.

A REALLY ENLIGHTEN ED STATESMAN.

Mr. Punch begs to signify his unqualified adhesion to the Palmerston government, thatls
to say, so long as George Clive, Under-Secretary for the Home Department, remains in
office. That gentleman said the other day at Hereford, that—

“ He was painfully reminded of the duties of his office by hearing an organ being ground outside, for one of
his most arduous duties had been to assist the police magistrates in putting down the nuisance of organ grinding.”

Keep to your work, George Clive. Mr. Punch watches your political career with much
interest, and never shall you want a leg up while he can afford you that accommodation.
One of the duties of the Home Department is to make home happy, and you do well in
grappling with an evil that has broken more women’s hearts (by sending their husbands out,
or to the club, or anywhere to be away from the abominable music) than any invention of
modern days. It is a great oversight in the treaty of Zurich, that no provision is made for
the recal to Piedmont of the mass of organ-grinding wretches who now infest England.
It the Sardinians only knew that the “coldness” of England upon the Italian question was
due to the hate entertained for these missionaries of discord, every grinning scoundrel among
them.would.be now on his way back to the south. Victor Emmanuel will please accept
this intimation, Meantime, bravo, George Clive !

The Kentucky Slasher.

Flogging, like Charity, begins at home. It seems that General Harney, the Kentuckian
who got up the San Juan difficulty, and was about to lead on America to flog all creation,
began some time back by flogging one of bis negro slaves,—a woman,—and flogging her to
death. It is as well that this Cat should be let out of the bag, with which Mr. Buchanan
^euphuistically denominating it the Sack—has kindly presented the General.

THE ITALIAN CHEVY CHACE.

King Victor out of Sardinia,

And a fair resolve made he,

That he would hunt in the forests
Of Orca Vale for days three ;

Till answer came from doughty Ally,

If annexation now might be.

The fattest hartes in all Orca Vale
He said he would kill and carry them away;
“ By my faye,” said doughty Ally meanwhile,
“I will let that hunt be as it may.

“ But for hunting after Kingdoms more,

I deem I can’t allow;

I ’ll think it o’er, and plan reply
At my loisir—but not just now.”

Then King Victor out of his Turin came,
And with him a goodly train
Of hunters, sportsmen, ail good shots ;

And chosen for their merits plain.

For King Victor was of manly make.
Straightforward and just meaning ;

Good faith he kept, good faith he held
For due on all sides, without leaning.

King Victor joyed in his hunting-bout.

To chase the forest deer ;

The buxom air, the sportsman’s life.

His royal heart did cheer.

He said, “’Tis time doughty Ally
Sent Answer without craft;

But I wist he’d take his own good time*
And loud King Victor laughed.

“ 1 ’ll still abide doughty Ally’s
Response in his own way:

But I ween I ’ll follow still mine own;

’Tis more direct, by my fay! ”

Then King Victor sought his hunting spcrt,
And shot with good will and aim;
lie downed a noble stag, and said :—

“ Non c’e male, that, for game ! ”

King Victor in bis sprightly mood.

For-joyed in his deed ;

Quoth he, “I’ll send this fat ven’son
To one deserves best meed.”

Then called King Victor to him straight,

A trusty page or squire ;

Bade him haste to Central Italie,

And there eftsoons enquire

For General of the Italian band,

Who Garibaldi bight:

And deliver from the King’s own hand
This token of its might.

Its might—though now as nunter shownr—

In skill of deadly aim,

To bring their mutual foeman down.

And comradeship to claim.

Its might, its right, to guerdon worth;

And graciously confer
This mark of royal friendliness.

Nay, brotherhood, as ’twere.

This was the hunting of Orca Vale,

In lovely Italie;

Now long live Victor, stalwart King!

And eke Garibaldi.

Napoleonism, Idealism, and Realism.

France went to war the other day for am
Idea. That idea was the. freedom of Italy from
the Alps to the Adriatic. Now if the Em.
peror of the French wishes to cover France
and himself with glory, he has only to allow
that idea to become a reality.