Punch (37.1859)

230

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[December 3, i860.

THE PIPER AT COMPIEGNE.

!

!

aily chronicle of the acts of the superior classes, records
these:—

“The Marquis and Marcr'qness of Stafford have left Stafford
House for Lilleshall, Salop. On the recent visit of the Marquis and
Marchioness to the Emperor and Empress of the French at Codt-
piegnc, the Marchioness was accompanied by her piper, M'Alister,
who had several opportunities of displaying his musical and tcrpsi-
chorean talents before the Imperial Court. M'Alister lias brought
home with him a valuable gold watch, presented to him by the
Emperor in acknowledgment of the amusement he afforded the
Court.”

This new feather in the cap of M'Alister is an event
in the History of Scotland which ought not to be unsung;
and is accordingly commemorated in the following—

ADDRESS TO M'ALISTER.

Oli, Alister, M'Alister,

A proud and happy chiel,

Before the Gallic Emperor,

To dance the Scottish reel!

Wi’ nimble shankies a’ sae bare,

Wi’ tae an’ heel, an’ spring,

Nae doot ye gar’d Eugenie stare.

To see a Hieland fling.

The French may cut their capers hie,

An’ light their steps may fa’.

But whiles ye thirled the tunefu’ key,

Ye loupt abune them a’;

Ye warked the drone, the pipes ye blew,

YVi’ cheeks o’ muckle size;

Ye maun hae had eneuch to do,

An’ ’maist puffed out your eyes.

Nae mountain stag e’er skipped sae quick,

Nae jenny faster span.

There’s nocht on earth at hop and kick
That dings a Hielandman.

Hard wark must sic a dancer’s be,

Himsel’ that plays the tune,

I’m bail your face waxed red a wee.

An’ shone e’er ye had dune.

Between twa crossed claymores to dance.

An’ never cut your shin,

Gude faith! might weel astonish France,

An’ gowden ticker win.

Oh, Alister, M'Alister,

Noo cut sic steps for me,

YVi’ hoch! au5 squirl; an’ I’ll confer
On you a braw bawbee.

I:

1

L

I

i

;

LATEST FROM AMERICA.

(from our special canardier.)

Niagara, Nalls.

^ Barn dm has bought up Blondin, ropes and all, and takes him to
Europe to show him the ropes there, and to let him wander upon
foreign strands (as the poet says) till he gets a good balance at his
banker’s, and of course a man who can keep bis balance anywhere will
have no difficulty in doing that. Blondin’s last tight-rope feat may
be new to you. He bad a cat-gut rope, made of second-hand fiddle-
strings from the great Handel festival, and they strained this rope so
tight that the breeze played a tune upon it. Something like a stretcher
this, you will say. Blondin undertook to -walk to the middle of this
cord and with a horsehair bow—a very longbow as you may suppose—
to perform a concerto a la Paganini on one string. The vibration
nearly cost the intrepid fellow his life; for just as he was bowiug his
foot slipped, but with great presence of mind he managed to fall in a
sitting position. The people rent the air with their acclamations.
Blondin merely rent his trousers, and with vast tact and delicacy
walked backwards to the Canada side, and retired for a fresh pair.
Afterwards Blondin passed over on stilts, and upon this performance
being encored the daring artist actually sharpened the feet of his stilts,
thrust the stumps into two soda-water bottles, and, thus shod, again
traversed the cord ! During the last trip tiie excitement was awful.
The sun broke out and sparkled on the bottles, and through a thousand
telescopes was the steel-nerved hero seen to falter in his tread. Five
to one that he tumbled went begging. Blondin took a pinch of snuff,
and. the betting was even directly. Twenty thousand spectators held
j their breath till they were nearly suffocated. A hurricane of shouts

announced the brave man’s success, and a sporting Judge who had laid
heavily against him fell in a fit. Most opportunely a medical man from
the South opened a vein with a sharp bowie-knife which he luckily had
brought with him instead of his revolver, and the Judge recovered, but
will have to sell niggers to settle up. _ _

You may expect Blondin in the big balloon. About an acre of its
skin is yet to be varnished, so, to fill up time, B. will go into severe
training for bis European performances—say about an hour’s brisk
walking on a telegraph wire four times a day. There is a report here
that the old transatlantic telegraph cable has been sold to a marine
store dealer, to be taken on the ground with all faults; also, that the
Marquis of YVestminster has compounded-with his creditors; but
we receive these loose rumours with some distrust.

GENTLEMEN RIFLEMEN.

YVe have good reason for announcing that the aristocracy of Hamp-
shire have agreed amongst themselves that membership of a Volunteer
Rifle Corps shall be held and deemed a sufficient passport for admission
to every county or other public ball. All the young ladies of the high
territorial families seated in that advanced bucolic and agricultural
county, have consented to give their hands as partners to any well-
conducted young Rifleman; the fact ol his being a_ linendraper s
or grocer’s assistant notwithstanding. Of course this partnership
arrangement only contemplates the dance; but there is no saying that
it may not in some fortunate instances, extend farther. The spirited
example of Hampshire will no doubt be followed by every other county;
and the universal landed interest will, in fraternising with the mer-
cantile, make a tremendous sacrifice of pride on the altar of patriotism.

1