Punch (37.1859)

December 24, 1359.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 261

simple in its composition—beneficial in its medicinal nature—‘the
sovereignest thing on earth’ for‘indigestion,’ ‘melancholy,’ ‘pains
in the back,’ ‘dislike to society,’ ‘chilbains,’ ‘thoughts of self-
destruction,’ ‘sciatica,’ ‘involuntary blushing,’ ‘corns,’ and the
thousand natural ills—not only that ‘flesh is heir to,’ but which
Professor Gullaway pretends to cure—a specific strongly recom-
mended by the Paculty—at least, of Modern Athens. I subjoin the
prescription of a celebrated M.D., whose portrait I have just painted.
“ Recipe:

Spiritus Vini Scotici, cyathos duos.

Sacchari albi, semiunciam .... 3 ft. _

Aquse ferventis, ad uncias octo . . . Jviij.

(Interdum addere liceat corticis Limonis Crustulum). Piat Mis-
tura. Capiat reger (vel sanus) cochleare magnum unum, septies, ornni
quadrante horse paulo post cibum.

“ Surely, my dear Punch, when the poet wrote

“ ap'uTTOv fxev vSaip>

He could not have tasted the incomparable' Glenlivat.’

“I have just concocted the ‘Mixture—as before.’

“ Here’s ‘ towards you ! ’

“ Jack Easel.”

PUTTING HIS PIPE OUT.

ot long ago the Mayor of
Douai, we are told, ad-
dressed a circular to the
communal schoolmaster,
expressing his determina-
tion to put down the pre-
cocious habit of smoking
among the boys of that
city. Bravo, Mons. le
Maire ! We recommend
as a motto for Dean
Close’s next Counterblast
the inscription, “ Douai-
way (Do away) with to-
bacco-smoking.”

Australia Felix.

The Ballarat Star -r.-
ports the arrival of a donkey
in that district, and adds,
that “ the incident has
created much excitement among the population.” A Donkey at the
Diggings-—and only one!

We all know that a dead donkey is a rare sight. But we little
thought ever to hear of a country in which a live one is an appearance
sufficiently rare to create an excitement.

This solitary Jerusalem Pony must surely be the Golden Ass of
APULEIUS !

[Advertisement.]

1NJO MORE GREY HAIR NOR ANY OTHER MEDICINE ! ! !—

-t ’ Punch's Almanack for 1860 is as certainly a Core for ague, asthma, mental or
personal acidity, fever, indigestion, drowsiness, gout, cough, catarrh, hysteria,
headache, heartburn, dizziness, despondency, nerves, nausea, neuralgia, irritability,
low spirits, spasm3, sickness, sleepiness.rheumatism, redtapeism, mental cramps and
sinking, fits, word-flatulency, folly, sourness, stupidity, biliousness, blue devils, bore-
dom, baldness, and bronchitis, as any quack specific ever advertised or paid for. It
removes superfluous airs, and imparts a healthy mental tone to all who take it.
Persons of weak mind will find in Punch's Almanack a most invigorating tonic, and
those whose hair is falling off (as they say) through stress of work, will derive from
Punch's Almanack the greatest benefit and comfort. It not only cures the gout, the
colie, and the phthisic, but it is allowed to be the very best of physic. As has
been eaid, it does as much for one as any advertised quack medicine, and has,
moreover, the advantage of being nice to take. No domestic happiness is complete
without it. One joke relieves, one page cures ! There’s no mistake about it, so
walk up, with your Threepences, and prove the fact !—N.B. Sold also, price
Fourpence, with the Government Stamp.

#*£?■ To be had everywhere, and at a hundred places else.

The following are some of the ten million testimonials:—Cure No. 2,000,002 : —
“ Fifty minutes’ indescribable agony from reading an anti-Rifle-Movement article in
the Morning Star, have been removed by buying that delightful mental food called
Punch’s Almanack. Punch is a certain antidote to Sta.r poison, and may be used
with safety on every occasion. Signed, John Smith, London. ’ Cure, No. 9,999,999.—
“ My husband having been for many months afflicted with acidity of temper, I tried
the effect of reading him some jokes from Punch’s Almanack. After hearing the
tenth joke his sourness almost disappeared, and at the twenty-seventh his temper
was so sweetened that he promise l me a new dress and a box at Covent Garden ;
and, what is still more wonderful, he has kept his word. Signed, Jemima Jolly. ’

SILLY SONGS FOR SABLE SINGERS.

No. 1.

When first I lib wid Massa Prue,

Miss Dinah swep de kitchen:

Her cheeks were black, her eyes were blue,

O Gosh ! she was bewitching !

Chorus.

Lubly Dinah ! de belle ob Carolina 1
B.ed-nosed ’possums, ring-tailed ’coons,

All in lub wid Dinah !

Dis nigger see her as she sat
A churning ob de butter :

Fbe make my heart go pit a pat.

And all dat I could utter—

Was—Lubly Dinah ! &c.

I flop down plump upon my knees,

Tlio’ in my Sunday trousers.

And den I try my lub to please.

By breedin’ tender vows, sirs.

Lubly Dinah ! &c.

«

Miss Dinah said she’d marry me,

So Massa found de shiners ;

Now in my cabin you may see
Two Sambos and two Dinahs !

Chorus.

And they ’re all like Dinah ! de belle ob Carolina!
Black-nosed blue flies, ring-tailed ’coons,

All in lub wid Dinah !

No. 2.

Of all the gals in New Orleeus,

There’s none like Sally Carter;

She’s full of wit, she’s full of beaus.

She’s Uncle Pumpkin’s darter !

She’s got two eyes, she’s got a nose,

She’s got a mouth thereunder,

She’s got, two feet, she’s got ten toes,

0’n, isn’t she a wonder!

Chorus.

Yah ! yo ! Sally ! Guess I knows your valley !
There ain’t a hoss
Like Cousin Josh,

To tell the worth of Sally !

Sal can bake and Sal can brew,

Down in Louisiana,

She can make a pudden too.

And play on the pianner !

Sal’s the gal for apple squash,

Sal’s the gal for dumpling;

Oh! ain’t she fond of Cousin Josh,

Her crinnylean a crumpling !

Chorus.

Yah! yo! Sally ! Guess I knows your valley!
There ain’t a hoss
Like Cousin Josh,

To wed a gal like Sally !

A Miss-Fire from the Morning Star.

The Morning Star comments, in a tone of ridicule, on a provincial
advertisement of a meeting to promote the formation of a Bifle Corps,
because the presence of the ladies was requested at it. This is unfair.
How can a set of young hands be expected to learn the use of the rifle,
without a good many Misses ?

Epitaph on a Liberator.

By a Citizen of the U-nitcd States.

f

!

What a Congress of the Great Powers is likeliest to do |
with the Italian Boot.—But their foot in it. i

In this here land of ours of great renown,

The least mistake in colour won’t go down ;

Bor treating Black as White, we’ve bang’d up Brown.

Yon. :i7.

9