Punch (55.1868)

10

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 4, 1868.

i

ENERGETIC WAY OF TAKING IT.

“ Yes, generally come and Sit here for an Hour after Breakfast. One must have Exercise, you know.”

DISRAELI’S DISPENSATION.

0 Dizzy, my darling, when next a libation

Yon pour with the Taylors, so gladsome and free,

Don’t prate, if yon love me, about Dispensation,

Dor that’s not a word for yourself or for me.

When a gentleman spouts for Ms own recreation,

One wouldn’t be hard on a firework phrase,

But the canting and Recordssh word Dispensation—

Is that fitting stuff for these cynical days ?

If you meant it in fun it’s a mere desecration,

If earnest, my boy,—but you’re not such a fool:

What certain religionists call Dispensation
Is something that never was taught in your school.

You want to set going a Church agitation.

Well, play out your game with each weapon that’s fair,

But the humbug that calls lobby-votes Dispensation,

Old Punch, the great Umpire, ’s unable to bear.

Assert, if you like, that a dread tribulation
Will follow the fall of John Manners and you ;

But don’t call a vote a divine Dispensation,

Because you ’re aware that the thing is untrue.

Punch likes your smart books for your keen detestation
Of hypocrite howl that you christened a Cry,

But Taper and Tadpole ne’er roared Dispensation
Wken Protestant votes were the dearest to buy.

1 ’ll end with a hint tills unpleasant jobation :

If oft you display such an absence of Nous,

You’ll get what the Catholics call Dispensation
Prom paying the penance of leading a House.

PM|.

TO THE LORD JOHN MANNERS.

Dear Lord John, July 1, 1S68.

You were kind enough to promise ns that water should return
to the cleansed lake “ in June.”

It may have returned, but I walked across the lake, with my feet on
the bottom thereof, in company with the Duke of Cornwall Terrace,
the Duke of Albany Street, the Earl of Kent Terrace, the Earl of
Gloucester Terrace, and the Misses Goneril, Regan, and Cordelia Lear,
and back to the Ornamental Enclosure (where we play at croquet) last
night, and none of us were in the least wet.

One would not hold a gentleman to a day or two, as if one were a
sharp attorney, or an old maid who had grabbed at an offer, but the
evenings are very hot, and if yon would just prod the contractor a
little, we and the ducks should be much obliged. Not that he has not
been doing his work very neatly, or that the job will not be a good one.

Ever yours, faithfully,

Boshjbelloics Terrace, “Parous” et Infrequens, &c.

Alpha Road.

A Timely Warning.

What a fearful thing a general drought would be ! W'ater, water
nowhere, and not a drop to drink! And yet to this _ we must come,
unless Societies for the conservation of the English rivers are estab-
lished everywhere to warn off oarsmen from their favourite work of
destruction. We use the phrase, “work of destruction,” advisedly,
hearing from undoubted sources (of rivers) that boating is on tile
increase, and that everywhere stalwart young men and active boys are
pulling up our most beautiful English rivers.


AFTER DINNER.

At the Banquet given last week to the Archbishops and Bishops
Mr. John Abel Smith, M.P. “replied briefly to the toast, but his re-
marks were inaudible.” Hadn’t he better change Ms name to Mr.
John £W-Abel Smith ?

Design for a Monument over a Teatotaller’s Tomb.—An Urn.