Punch (55.1868)

August 15, 1868.1

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

57

VESTED INTERESTS.

Sweeper. “ If you don’t get off my Crossin’, I ’ll ’ey your Number ! ”

THE GREAT ECLIPSE.

The Great Eclipse is fixed for Tuesday, August the 18th. Tuesday j
next as ever is. We do not want to frighten anybody, of course, but |
we think everybody had better be prepared. Because such an Eclipse
is a very tremendous phenomenon, and the Sun will be darkened for at i
least six minutes, and longer if anything goes wrong. The newspapers,;
“under the instructions of Government, have been spreading the belief!
that the Eclipse will not affect this country. The object of the authori- i
ties is benevolent, but it is questionable whether the propagation of a |
fable is justifiable under anv circumstances. It is bfetter to know the j
truth. The phenomenon will not affect Switzerland, and Her Majesty’s i
journey thither is well understood. The venerable Archbishop oe j
Canterbury has also departed for a distant part of the Continent, and
he is to be followed by the Bishop of London. The Prince and
Princess of Wales will not be in London on the 18th, that is also
certain, unless the Heir-Apparent, with the proverbial courage of the
Boyal Family, shall deem it his duty to be present to re-assure the
Metropolis. But, we say again, let no person be more frightened than
is becoming in the presence of such an apparition, over which it is
impossible to exercise any control. We do not say that there is any
real danger, but danger is invariably greatest when unsuspected. Let
all proper precautions be taken. We have had no total Eclipse of the
Sun since 1715, and of course the present generation is without expe-
rience as to the necessary provisions. First, let every housekeeper
remove all knockers, bells, rails, balconies, in fact all metal likely to be
acted on by the penumbra of the node, and. let these be placed, if pos-
sible, in a cellar, but if not, in a darkened apartment, from the walls of
which the paper, if stained with any metallic agent, must carefully be
torn down. All windows, and most especially skylights, must be
painted over with any dark colour, or if this be not easily attainable,
cover them with paste by means of a brush, and throw on soot or black
ash, until light is effectually excluded. Have an earthenware flower-
pot in every room, and let this be half filled with sulphur, ready for
ignition the moment that the apogee manifests itself. So much danger
arises from the use of fire-arms that we hesitate to recommend them;
but where children and servants can be trusted, the continual discharge

of guns and pistols (of course without ball) is a great safeguard, and in
any house with a gong, let it be beaten from morning to night, the
servants relieving one another—in humbler homes large bones beaten
on the shovels in the house, will be available. The danger from the
mesozoic eocene may be much diminished by continuous inhalations of
nitrate of hydrogen, and where practicable this should be taken in bed,
which should be carefully turned due east and west, except in extra-
parochial districts, where the mattrasses, &c. must be thrown to the
floor. All food must be avoided sedulously, and the only really safe
drink during the phenomena will be barley-water in which chloride of
ammonium or gentian has been infused. Silence should be preserved
as far as possible, especially by females, children, and persons with high
voices. Barking of dogs and talking of parrots must be prevented at
all hazards—it is better to destroy a dog or a bird than to risk oolitic
aberration. These few hints as to what is absolutely necessary we
reprint, with permission, from the Nautical Almanack for Marines, and
though such details are not akin to the usual contents of our columns,
the solemn and exceptional nature of the great phenomenon will be
our excuse. We repeat that we hope all will pass off well, and this is
all that we dare say.

Godfather to a Great Gun.

The Pall Mall Gazette says

“¥e have been informed that the Peabody gun has been adopted as a new
arm by the Swiss Government.”

The Peabody gun perhaps derives its name from its aptitude for
throwing shells, and thus, in a manner shelling out. _ Considering what
shot it may be supposed to carry, we may estimate it to be at least a
hundred thousand pounder.

THOUGHT BY AN OPTIMIST.

The good people there are in the world are wholly unknown to many
of us. Do you doubt it ? Then think of the perfect Strangers you
have met with in your life.