Punch (55.1868)

100 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 5, IS68.

NO POCKET-MONEY. (A HINT.)

Mamma. “ Toll, I’m glad you have had a nice Ride. But where is your Jacket, Tom?”
Tom. “Sold it for a Bottle of Ginger-Beer, Mother. We were so Thirsty!”

WHY LORD MAYO ?

Mr. Disraeli’s Governor-General for India, the successor to Dal-
housie, Lawrence, and inferior men of that sort, is an Irishman
named Bourke. He was born in 1822, and taught at Trinity College,
Dublin. He was politically known as Lord Naas, was Irish Secretary
when the Tories got in, 1850, and 1858, and is Irish Secretary to Mr.
Disraeli. Nothing against him in all that ? Certainly not. But
Mr. Disraeli has set the people of England and of India a Conun-
drum, and it is this :—

Why should Lord Mayo be made the Governor-General of India,
the ruler of Two Hundred Millions of people, and all things considered,
the occupant of about the most important position in the world—a seat
on a throne not excepted ?

This Conundrum baffles everybody. Solutions have been attempted,
but they are feeble. One is, Because he is a jolly, good-natured, blun-
dering speaker, rather apt to tumble over his own rhetorical legs.
Another is, Because he aid not hinder Lord Strathnairn and the
Irish constables from putting down the Fenians. A third is Because
he is a good sportsman. A fourth is Because his name always recals
an extraordinary mess about Mr. Justice Keogh, and the singular
way Lord Naas floundered out of it. A fifth is Because he was
Gentleman of the Bed-Chamber to Lord Heytesbury. But evi-
dently none of these answers can be the right one. We wait a better,
and meantime ask another Conundrum. What will India think of such
an appointment ?

We consider that Mr. Disraeli has once more launched a Great
Asian Mystery. _

Rem Lacu. Non Tetigisti.

Why did not Lord John Manners, when enumerating the various
grand achievements, quorum, pars magjiafuit, say that he has cleaned
out, new bottomed, and re-filled the Regent’s Park Lake ? Because
then he would have mentioned one thing that would hold water.

THE FRENCHMAN OF THE FUTURE.

Frenchmen fond of dancing may in the future be expected to take
malt with their hops; at least so it would appear from what a Paris
correspondent tells us that he noticed at the Fete of the Fifteenth :—

“ The chief articles for sale were coloured glass and gingerbread, and the
Frenchman of the old school sees with horror the wine-shop succeeded by the
beerhouse. Paris is beginning to drink malt to an extent that will soon
change the genius of the people.”

Many people think that Frenchmen owe their levity to the light wine
which they drink, and if this be changed for heavy brain-affecting
liquor, it is possible that their lightheartedness, as well as their light-
headedness may, so to say, be ballasted by the beer which they imbibe.
Our lively neighbours, as we call them, may in course of time be known
as our deadly-lively neighbours ; and instead of being a gay city as at
present, Paris may become as dull as Birmingham or Bradford, or any
other place in England where beer-bibbers abound. No longer frivolous,
the French may, by dint of beer, become as phlegmatic as the Germans;
and instead of their fight chansons in praise of their fight wine, they may
join in heavy chorusses in praise of “ heavy wet.” It is possible that
ere long we may hear a Frenchman warbling a French version ^ of the
ballad, “ For I likes a drop of good beerf and smoking a “ Church-
warden” in lieu of cigarettes.

iEneid IV. 1, adapted.

M. Grevy, opponent of Imperialism in France, has been returned
for the Department of the Jura by a great majority over the Court
Candidate. Shades of Virgil, and Dido, and Mrs. TYdgers, forgive
us ; but if it should be whispered that the Emperor is indisposed and
suffering, we shall wink and say, “ Grevy saucizw cura.”

A Popish Bird.—The Missed Thrush.