Punch (55.1868)

A HOLIDAY, f?)

a/looting Enthusiast (to rhcumal.ie friend, met through, and inclining homewards). “Not a Bikd to be Seen? 0, Nonsense! Tot
TKY THAT GoilSE AGAIN, AND GET OVER THE HlI.L INTO THE STOBBLE FiELD, AND THEN YOU ’LL HAVE T\VO MlLES OF FALLOW, AND
AFTER THAT YOU CAN FOLLOW THE BEATERS.”

]

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POOH-POOHING AND SHAMPOOHING.

Mr. Punch —Sib,

In my profession as a Perruquier, &c., &c., a great number of
heads annually pass through my hands, and my knowledge of human
nature, founded on craniological principles (so to speak), affords me
advantages enjoyed by members of no other liberal profession, whether
law, physic, or divinity. My insight into character is, consequently,
at once extensive, accurate, and profound. I can therefore speak with
authority upon many points which common Parliamentary people
should approach, with hesitation and distrust. Our noble Premier,
however, is an Individual (if I maybe permitted such an expression)
who is gifted with a wonderful species of clairvoyance (so to speak).
His penetrating vision can see into a blockhead, and trace the work-
ings of the machinery within almost as clearly as my own. I might
go further, and say without fear of contradiction, that he can see into
the middle of next November, when I apprehend the forthcoming
elections will transpire. He predicates that Constitutionalism will
then achieve its most signal triumph, its Champions being men with
chuckle-heads and beefy hands (so to speak). He owns, does our
noble Premier, that he has but little faith in education and refine-
ment. He pooh-poohs them (so to speak), and he is right in so doing,
i shampoo them; and, although myself necessarily a man of (perhaps)
over-refinement and education, I know by observation, as a Perfumer
of twenty years’ standing, that excess of those things does lead in
many instances to a “perversity of opinion and an affectation of philo-
sophy ” that is (so to speak) perfectly disgusting. And, moreover, I
candidly own, that were I in our noble Premier’s position, looking ■
about for staunch supporters in my Ministerial hour of peril, I should |
have, in mental accomplishments and polish of manners, no confidence

Truly yours,

Anthony Charles Fluid.

whatever.

Odonto Villa, October 3.

. P S.—Allow me to say, in justice to myself, that I am perfectly ]
independent of Party, and do equal j ustice to all, whether Liberals or

Illiberals, that honour me with their patronage. Not long ago, I had
the honour of supplying our noble Premier with a small cake of
Windsor, and am in daily expectation of his calling for a second ditto,
as he has recently been bestowing on his friends (so to speak) rather a
large amount of iather.

(I enclose my card, not necessarily for publication, but as a guarantee
of status, &c.) — A. C. P.

A Title to Catch a Tory.

Miss Braddon’s forthcoming work. Run to Earth, is advertised as
“ A Novel of Incident.” Well, now, not knowing this, one might have
supposed that Run to Earth was a historical and political novel, of
which the hero was Pox.

caller ou !

A newspaper paragraph states that there has been a pretty general
fall of oyster spat in most of the grounds. This is good news. Let us
hope the general fall of oyster spat will be followed by as general a fall
of oysters.

Confectionery in Costume.

One of the dresses described iu Le Follet of this month has a “ body
of chocolate foulard with maroon sleeves.” A dress with a body of
chocolate must be a sweet thing. It is one which may well be con-
ceived to be what the French milliners call covfeetionne.

“ CONFESSEDLY ” A MISTAKE.

The One Wine Company may do in England, but clearly will not do
in Spain. The Queen has so given herself up to Claret, that she has
no Port left, and has been obliged to ask the Emperor lor a little
Hermitage.

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