Punch (55.1868)

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170 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

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[October 24, 1868 )


SONG BY AN ELDEST SON.

A little, in December last,

Put out of joint I bad my nose,

When Pros, after ivliat had passed,
Another sent the Golden Rose.

The wonders by my Chassepots done
Upon the Holy Father’s foes,

I reckoned, had his Eldest Son
Entitled to the Golden Hose.

It therefore did my feelings pain,

As you may readily suppose,

When Isabella, Queen of Spain
That then was, got the Golden Rose.

What had she done ? I, who had fought
By proxy, backed my words with blows,

I,'for Mentana’s service, thought
That I deserved the Golden Rose.

And now that Queen has lost her crown,
A circumstance which clearly shows

No blessing visibly brought down
By means of Popey’s Golden Rose.

’Tis said with blessing ever blight
That he, with best intention, throws.

Whereof as one more proof some cite,
What last came of the Golden Rose.

There’s Destiny, and there’s a Star.

It may be some ill influence flows

From persons, and can strike afar,
Transmitted by the Golden Rose.

Coincidences do look queer,

The common mind is struck with those.

I hope his Holiness this year
Will not send me the Golden Rose.

‘ EXPERIENTiA DOCET.”

Sisters. “Well, Fred, what do you think of it?”
Frecl. “ Oh ! ah ! Best thing I’ve seen fop. Years ! ”

Had I not best recall from Rome
My soldiers, ere December close,
And crown the edifice at home.

Lest I, too, get the Golden Rose ‘1

ANOTHER KIND OF CAB-STRIKE WANTED.

In their late strike the cabmen made a striking fault. Instead of
striking in a manner that but served to hit themselves, they should
have rather aimed the blow at the pockets of their masters. It mainly
is their owners’ fault that cabs have a bad name, and that London is
worse off for them than most provincial towns. That there are some
good cabs in London we are willing to admit, but where else run we
the risk of riding in a rumbling, rattling, ramshackle four-wheeler, which
possibly has just conveyed a patient to a hospital, or has carried measly
meat to the back-door of a pork-butcher ? That many London cabmen
can be civil we allow, but where else run we the risk of being bullied
by the foul-mouthed driver of a night-cab, who is dirtier in language
and appearance than a nightman ? Such black sheep taint the flock,
and are the cause why London cabmen have an evil reputation. People
clearly would use cabs far more often than they do, if they were sure of
finding civility and cleanliness. A cab is far too often a mere vehicle of
abuse, and the chance of dirt or insult makes many a man prefer the
safer course of walking. “None but the clean deserve the fare”
should be the golden rule with cabmen. We don’t expect a cab-driver
to put on white kid gloves; or, when we give him half a sovereign, to
hand us our right change in a sweetly-scented envelope; but we do
expect clean cabs and civil spoken cabmen, and if the contraries of
these were all struck off the streets, we feel certain that the strike
I would find great favour with the public.

Mus Ridiculus.

Make your Deacons three years older,
Make your Bishops rather bolder.
Those are all the cures I know
For Church evils. q n n

TO BE SEEN ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE,

From 11 to 4 Every Bay.

3 Kings, 1 Chancellor, 1 Chamberlain, 1 Marshall, 2 Knights, 1
Major, 2 Mayors, and 3 Sheriffs.

4 Chappells, 1 Temple, 2 Bishops, 1 Abbott, 2 Chaplins, and 8 Clarks.

6 Halls, 2 Lodges, and a Strawbridge.

2 Kitchens, 1 Cook, 2 Jacks) 3 Bakers, 2 Butlers, 1 Pott, Flower,
Barley, Chalk, 3 Bones, 1 Grabb, 1 Whiting, 2 Peppercorns, Coles,
Wood, and Sparkes.

2 Barbers, 1 Constable, 2 Dyers, 5 Gardiners, 1 Mason, 2 Millers,
1 Porter, 1 Skinner, 18 Smiths, 2 Coopers, 1 Chandler, 1 Cheesman,
' and 2 Taylors.

2 Fields, 4 Hills, 2 Lanes, 1 Poole, 2 Elms, 2 Greenfields, 3 Green-
hills, 1 Greenwood, 2 Foxes, 1 Daw, 1 Drake, 2 Lyons, 1 Wolfe, 1
Bull, 2 Worms, 1 Partridge, 2 Starlings, 2 Swifts, Suckling, 4 Shep-
pards, and a Hunter.

1 Ball, 1 Bell, 2 Cases, 1 Pulley, 1 Block, 1 Horne, 1 Key, 1 Cork,
1 Foot, 1 Moon, 2 Grays, 7 Brownes, 3 Graves, 5 Carrs, 1 Carter, 1
Yigne, 1 Branch, and 1 Bragg.

Rivers—Lea and Dee.

Places—Coventry, Linton, Hollond, Kent, and Sutton.

Hail, Snow, and a Gale.

Hope, Love, AArtue, and Paine.

Hopps, and a Thorne.

And to wind up, Yowgood a Medley.

The Electoral Adviser.

Mr. Mill is doubtless a very valuable Member of Parliament; but,
considering how he took it upon himself to direct the Kilmarnock
electors whom to choose for their representative, we should say, setting
his incorruptibility aside, that we should like to buy him at our price,
and sell him at iiis own.

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A Richmond Dinner.—A Shouting Actor who Performs the Part.