Punch (55.1868)

October 31, 1868.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

1ST

VERMIN AND BAKING POWDERS.

PUNCH'S HANDBOOK FOR THE HOLIDAYS.


ind how you use baking pow-
der. Head this :—

“ Narrow Escape of a
Family from Poisoning.—
The family of a shoemaker,
near Pontefract, has had a
narrow escape from being
poisoned. It appears that the
servant girl was about to make
a pudding for dinner, and asked
her mistress for a baking pow-
der. She was directed to a
drawer, but instead of taking a
packet of baking powder, she
in mistake took a vermin powder
—another illustration of the
careless manner in which
poisonous articles are kept.”

Five of them partook of
this pudding, and were very
near going the way of effec-
tually bailed rats. For fur-
ther details, see the Post of
October 20 th. But you
should take care how you use baking powders, not merely because if*
you don’t you may use vermin powders instead. In the first place
—witness the Lancet—the baking powders, if egg powders, may be
coloured with chromate of lead; in which case you might nearly as
well use vermin powders. In the next, baking powders are, according
to the same authority, at best a mixture of carbonate of soda ana
tartaric acid, with a small quantity of rice or flour, and act by producing
a sham fermentation. You would, perhaps, prefer the real.

Egg powders not containing chromate of lead may be innocuous,
Ladies, but they are innutritious. They may be very good to make
puddings for children and others with whom eggs disagree. Otherwise
there is nothing so true than, as the popular saying affirms, that “ eggs
is eggs ”—and that nothing else is. And the worst of these powders,
be they ever so harmless is, Ma’am, that if cooks are not looked sharp
after, there will be eggs in your bills, but, in lieu of eggs, egg powder
in your puddings and pies.

For further information on this subject, see a fourpenny pamphlet,
On the Practice of Employing certain Substitutes for the genuine Ingre-
dients of some Articles of Daily Food. By a Lady. Therefrom it would
appear, that if you have any baking powder, and also any vermin
powder, the best thing you can do with them is to mix them both
together, and put them in the way ot vermin.

PAPAL PLUSH IN PARLIAMENT.

Of course no man can serve two masters, but politically Dundalk
and Rome (ecclesiastical) are one place. Yet should the Irish Romish
borough re-elect its present representative, it will have a Parliamentary
servant in livery of another description than any which he has worn
heretofore. Such, at least will be the case if there is truth in the state-
ment referred to by a contemporary as follows :—

“ Sir Georgf. Bowyer.—It is stated that Sir George Bowyer, Bart.,
M.P. for Dundalk, has just been made a member of the Pontifical Household,
having been appointed by his Holiness the Pope as one of his Chamberlains
in recognition of his services to the Boman Catholic Church.”

Is the Pontifical Household identical with the original Household ot
Faith 1 Then, how many chamberlains were there in that primitive
establishment, and did they "wear the same plush, lace, shoulder-knots,
or other peculiarities of uniform as those in which, according to the
above-quoted announcement. Sir George Bowyer will be qualified, if
permitted, to appear as the Member for Dundalk and Rome in the
House of Commons ?

POSSIBLE PUBLICATIONS.

THE LAKE DISTRICT.

Ordinary Hotel Charges. s d.

Breakfast, plain . . . . . ..l 6

,, good looking.2 0

,, strikingly handsome t ..3 0

Dinner, soup or fish, with joint or cutlets.2 6

„ fish or soup, with cutlets or joint .... Half-a-crown.

Tea ..1 fi

,, with eggs.. More eggspensive.

Sitting-room, Three to Five Shillings. Standing room, gratis.

Attendance charged in the bill, but waiting in the passage.

Charges for Conveyance.

For a one-horse conveyance, Is. per mile.—(A reduction after the first fifty

miles.)

For a two-horse conveyance, Is. 6d. per mile.

Therefore always travel with a two horse conveyance, because you ’ll
thereby save sixpence a mile ; that is, you would if—oh, bother ! In
certain cases you will have to pay for the driver’s dinner and a feed for
the horses. Tell the former to draw the line at Clicquot, and remember
in ordering the poor animals’ food that they generally rank amongst
the has beans. Stage coach fares are threepence a mile outside, and
fourpence-halfpenny a mile inside. Cuts nearer the middle come more
expensive, gnd see they send home the liver. Drivers expect a shilling
By not giving them anything you will have saved twelvepence, and
have taught a deserving class a useful lesson on the vanity of human
hopes.

WINDERMERE LAKE.

An anomaly; for though considered almost the deepest lake in the
district, it is one of the easiest to get over. Char are numerous in this
lake, and are quite the piscine swells of the small ocean*; so much so,
that the other fish all look up to them and exclaim, on their approach,
“ Pray silence for the Char ! ” It is sometimes taken for trout, but
that is only when it’s potted. The tourist must climb Orrest Head,
and go to Bowness, which is a mile and a half from Windermere, and
particularly take notice of Belle Isle, an island containing a perfectly
round dwelling-house, supposed to be the most perfect brick and mortar
embodiment of the “domestic circle” extant; nor should the Two
Pikes be missed, though you needn’t look for them in the water, because
they ’re not there ; and so on to Coniston, where you will meet with the
Old Man. This is a mountain (nothing to do with the Old Man of the
Mountain—oh no, we mean the Old Man of the Sea—eh ? Which is
it? Never mind), and the YYalna Scar road here, passing through
Church Coniston, takes you to some wonderful scenery, on which
Wordsworth wrote—

“ That mountain stream, where shepherd and his cot
Are privileged inmates of deep solitude.”

This is absurd. How cau a cot be an inmate ? Now if it was altered
to “ where Shepherd and his Creswick,” * it would read sensibly, at all
events. But we forgot; this is a guide to Cumberland, not Surrey.
The Lak« of Coniston is also called Thurston Water, which is a mean-
ingless title—thirst on water ! A lake, too ! Isn’t it absurd, now, on the
face of it ? Professor Wilson, speaking of the view from the moun-
tain side at Lowwood, close by, says, “ Bold or gentle promontories
break all the banks into frequent bays.” The only bank we should
imagine that would be likely to break into a bay would be—now, are
you quite prepared ? Well, Dog-go,r Bank, then—there! But the
subject of banks breaking is always unpleasant, and so on to Ambleside,
which is a most irregular little town, dating its wickedness from
its very foundation, which is itself badly inclined. It abounds in villas-
in fact, as an irreverent jester has observed, it

“ Possesses every kind of villa—nigh.”

We are sorry to have to speak the truth about Ambleside, but it should
behave better, and mend its ways, which are very rocky, though plea-
sant, more especially that leading to Rydal, which you are particularly
requested not to pronounce “ riddle,” because the natives don’t like it,
hut proceed to Grasmere, of which next week.

* Vide Surrey Theatre.

Wiped at Sea. A Romantic Novel, by the Author of Washed Ashore.
The Bachelor Inkstand. A Narrative, by the Author of The Family
Fen.

Crushing a Cockchafer. A Sensational Novel, by the writer of Break-
ing a Butterfly.

The Discovered Match-box. A Domestic Tale, by the Author ot The
Lost Link.

Banjo and You. A Nigger Novel, by the Writer of Bones and I.

by our astrologer.

The Planet favourable to Ritualists—Vesta.

Another Defender for the Church.

In the list in the Times of the principal guests at the banquet given
at Liverpool to the American Minister, occurs the name of “ Ma.ior-
General Archdeacon Jones.” The question has been asked,
whether he attended as the representative ol the Church Militant ?

A GREAT DISTINCTION.

Ax article in one of the Reviews is headed, “ On Ancient Cave-
Men.” Which of the nations of antiquity could boast ot its Adul-
lamites ?