Punch (55.1868)

December 26, 1868.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

269

MASTER OF THE

Scene—Mr. Tether short's Sanctum.

SITUATION ? !

Enter Mrs. T. and her Cook.

Cook (with her usual •promptitude—she never kept anybody waiting). “ Oh, if you please, Sir, I wish to Complain of Missis !
WHICH SHE COME A DlCTATERIN’ AND A HiNTERFEEIN’ IN YOUR KlTCHING IN A WAY AS I’m SORE YOU WOULDN'T APPROVE ON, &C.,

&c., &c. . . j'T. confesses lie felt (for the first and last time) a delicious sensation of being apparently master in his own house. S.he

was an admirable Cook, and altogether a most excell- But however she had to go!

CABBY AND BOBBY.

(A Police Eclogue.)

O Cabby, good Cabby, permit me to state
You must by the kerb-stone not crawl at that rate.

It can’t be allowed; ’tis Sir Richard’s command
You ply for hire nowhere except on your stand.

0 Bobby, dear Bobby, I was not, indeed,

Aware I was driving at too little speed.

The fact is my horse is fatigued, and I know

You’d not have me whop him because he can’t go.

Ah ! Cabby, you seek to delude me in vain ;

Your animal’s quite fresh; that’s perfectly plain.
Invent no excuses for further delay,

1 beg you; but give him the rein, and away !

Oh ! Bobby, come Bobby, now don’t be unkind;
Thwart not mine endeavour employment to find.

What harm can I do, what conceivable wrong
To anyone, gently thus driving along ?

Oil! Cabby, how can you talk so ? Need I say
How people you hinder from crossing the way ?

And passengers also their omnibus keep

From reaching, the pavement beside whilst you creep ?

O Bobby, no thought to me ever occurred
That I got in anyone’s way, on my word.

And folks out of ’busses the notion, I vow,

Of keeping, my head never entered till now.

Perhaps so ; but. Cabby, at once mend your pace.
Because you’ll the painful necessity place
Me under, unless you forthwith get you gone.

Of taking your number. Please do, then, move on.

A SENSIBLE WELSHMAN.

A Gentleman, who states that he has hitherto been known by
divers Welsh appellations, as Griffith ap Reeve and ap Griffith,
apprises the universe that he renounces the muddle, and in future
intends to be Apsley Griffith, and nothing else. It would be well
if Welshmen generally would consider this example, and discover that,
though in barbarous ages, it suffices to have genera; civilisation intro-
duces species. Wales is at present inhabited by wild creatures known
as Jones, Morris, Evans, and about three other names; but Kelly's
Directory is at the service of the Welsh; and, when they tame, a
choice of distinctive appellations will be desirable, if their zoology is
to be respectable.

Our Ocean Dragoons.

A Correspondent of the Times points out the inexpensiveness and
value of the Royal Marines, under the title of “ The Royal Marine
Light Infantry.” What, then, are there any Royal Marine Light
Cavalry ? In that case their chargers may be supposed to be sea-
horses of the hippocampus breed—if there are any big enough. We
venture to say that there is not a finer set of fellows in her Majesty’s
service than the Horse Marines, if they are equal to the Foot.

OXON AND THE ARTICLES.

S. 0. says the thirty-nine articles all but fortify the Church.