Punch: Punch (56.1869)

May 15, 1869.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

205

BIRDS, BEASTS, AND FISHES.

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH.—SERJEANT TURKEY— GOOSEY’S CONVER-
SATION—MR. OWL—THE LEGAL INSTRUMENT—SIGNED—LICENCE-
MARRIAGE—WHAT WAS DONE FOR HIM—THE MOLES.

Serjeant Turkey
was a great creature :
j not much of a lawyer,

| perhaps, hut fat, red-
; faced, and imposing.

When you come to
, think of it, what mar-
vellous moral weight
is there in a portly
stomach, an old fash-
ioned black satin
waistcoat, and an old-
fashioned watch-
guard? Throw iu a
bald head, and you
have a picture of
: Wisdom. The Ser-
jeant was blustering:
was kindly. His legal
decisions were sel-
dom, if ever, ques-
| tioned: being founded
on common sense,
which is the basis of
all Law : only that it
is so. Lawyers for-
: get. And Clients,
too, for the matter
{ of that; but they,
and not Idealised
Justice, are blind-
folded, and hence
i litigation.

The above was the
i sum and substance oi
! Goosey’s observa-
tions to the Serjeant
at the supper-table;

Miss Ida being close
at hand, was wonder-
ing at these learned
remarks, until she
was presently taken
away to dance with
Mr. Wagg, of whom
and whose attentions
our young friend
was not in the least
jealous.

When, therefore,

Goosey found out to
what great legal lumi-
nary he had been
giving his opinions,
he was much abashed,
and was inclined
severely to blame his
own youthful gar-
rulity.

“ We must look
out for you,” ob-
served the Serjeant
good-humouredly,

“ when you practise
at the Fiddlesticks
Sessions.”

Now this promise,
coupled with Tom
Porcupine’s sugges-
tions as to the Bar 1-

being his (Goosey’s)

line, and also with Dormouse Senior’s desire to aid his son’s chum
in every possible way, fired the inmost soul of Goosey, and set him
all agog for the honour of a wig and gown.

Dawson Dormouse impressed upon him that if he entered the pro-
fession be must “ be on the spot ” perpetually.

To which Goosey sensibly replied, that he was not going to take up
Chamber Practice, but the Civil, or Common, Law to commence with,
which straightway led to an argument as to what was “civil” and

what was “common;” which, but for their good fellowship, might
have ended in uncommon incivilities.

The Jolly Old Cock would not give him the slightest assistance,
being rendered almost beside himself (apparently) by the intelligence,
brought to him by Goosey, of his son’s marriage with Miss Ida
Drake, the Little Duck. That this wrath was entirely assumed, was

made manifest to us.

“ With a proper teacher of their own sex, and with suitable dresses for the preliminary practice,
ladies can obtain such a command over the velocipedes in one week’s practice, of an hour daily, that
they can ride side-saddle-wise with the utmost ease.”—New York Sun.

Oil ! THEN, THIS IS WHAT WE MAY EXPECT TO SEE THIS SEASON.

the lookers-on, by an
application from Mr.
Owl, Old Barn-
door’s solicitor, for
an interview with
Goosey as soon as
convenient.

Dawson Dor-
mouse and Porcu-
pine accompanied
their friend to the
Solicitor’s office,
where on hearing
the proposal which
Mr. Owl was em-
powered to make to
his Client’s son,
they strongly urged
Goosey not on any
account to accept
the terms. The ar-
rangement was tc
the effect that if
Goosey would sign
away his little pro-
perty in futuro, and
place it at his kind,
good father’s dis-
posal, he, Old Barn-
rook, would give
him, per annum,
something less than
a very ordinary City
clerk’s salary, for his
money, daring his
(Old Barndoor’s)
life-time.

The young man
would not be ad-
vised. Tie thought
that to acquiesce in
the proposal would
humour his father,
and render him ulti-
mately less unfavour-
able to his marriage,
and kinder towards
himself and wife.
That was his idea,
not that of his
friends.

Mr. Owl, who had
been the Family
Barndoor solicitor
for years, didn’t offer
an opinion on the
matter, and only sat
at his table with the
parchment before
him, pen in hand,
looking over some
briefs and referring
occasionally to the
Clerk during our
discussion. He was
seventy-five, and im-
penetrable. He had
not much more to
say in this world,
and what he had, he
kept to himself. At
his age he was Legal Mechanism personified. A Client said “do
this,” and he got it done to the best of his ability. Going home
in the evening I have a sort of fancy that Old Owl sighed over his
Clients’victims; nay, in some cases regretted that “business” did not
permit him to offer advice contrary to his Clients’ interests and
objects.

“This is what your father proposes,” said he, quietly, and offered the
document for Goosey’s inspection. That was Owl’s mission, nothing

Vol. 56.