Punch: Punch (56.1869)

Mat 22, 1869.] PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

207

THE FORCE OF HABIT.

THE WEATHERCOCK AT ITS WORST.

Know you a more unpleasant day
Than one with an East wind in May ?

A melancholy sky, of lead,

Or slate, frowns drearily o’erhead.

An air, bedimmed with blighting haze,

Look where you will, offends your gaze ;
Branches with nipt, shrunk leaves, the trees
Toss wildly in the blustering breeze;

The lilac-bloom is faded, sere;

Elowers wither in the blast severe;

The song-birds all have ceased to twitter.
Because the weather is so bitter;

You shiver in the blinding gust,

Whilst in your eyes it blows the dust.

And then you think about poor souls
In want of blankets and of coals,

And letters to the Times enclose.

In thought, soup-kitchens to propose.
Instead of thinking on resort
To Greenwich or to Hampton Court,

With your own aliment in question.

In Busby Park the sweet suggestion
Of the ITorse Chestnuts out in bloom
Is chased by atmospheric gloom.

And so a season flies, which all
That man can do will not recall.

O iEolus, old fellow, stow it:

The wind in May that blows East—blow it!

The Irish Puzzle.

Certainly, the Irish are a riddle. If it is proposed to
treat them exactly as if they were English, there is a blaze
i about our Philistinism, and non-understanding of nation-
ality. But when they practise “ wild justice,” and set law
at defiance, we are warned not to deal with them except
by the most scrupulous rules of English law. As their own
poet writ (of Love or Friendship)—

“ Which shall it be—how shall we woo ?

Erin, choose between the two.”

Wonderful, Isn’t it? The Policeman here, who has assisted this old
Gentleman (who has been Dining with his “Company”) into eis House, Horticultural Note.-—For Elower Show Day read
waits to see the Result ! Elower Shower Day.

PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, May 10. Simon Scrope of Danby wants the Whites
Peerage. It was created in the time of Richard the Second. His
successor, our Henri Quatre, cut off the head of the Peer, and the
House of'Lords, after long and patient consideration, decides that this
operation extinguished him. The Duke of Cleveland, who appears
to think that a Peer can do without a head, wanted to revise the deci-
sion, but the Lords held that the beheading finished the business.
This did Lord Sydney go and tell the Queen at Windsor.

Their Lordships then spoiled the Scotch Education Bill. Scotland,
except—and please to note the exception—the Scotch clergy, desires
the measure. That single line explains the case. Our Primate honestly
showed his hand by objecting to a Bill which brought the Lords into
collision with questions that affected both England and Scotland. Just
so, dear Archbishop. But the collision will come; and if Questions
mean hindrances to popular education, may we respectfully remind
your Grace of George Stephenson’s answer, before a Committee, in
the pre-railway days : “ Suppose a cow should come into collision with
a train ? ” “ So much the worse for the coo.”

Lord Colonsay, new and venerable Scottish law peer, was actually
for introducing a clause enacting that the wee laddies and lassies should
be taught the Shorter Catechism of the Kirk of Scotland. But the
Duke of Argyll objected to incorporate that document in an Act of
Parliament. There is only one Catechism that ought to be taught to
any child, and that is our old friend Isaac Watts’s “ First.” Without
speaking of the dreadful Scotch and hideous Westminster bundles of
dogmas, see the difference between Watts’s and that of our beloved
Mother Church. She begins, “ What’s your name ? ” He begins,
“ Can you tell me, my child, who made you ? ” Which is the religious
teacher ?

A notice given in the Commons about opening Museums on Sundays,

| reminds us that some persons fear that this will lead to the opening
Theatres on that day. This again leads us to a speech made by Mr.
Buckstone at the General Theatrical Fund Dinner last week. He

said that no member of his own Iiaymarket Theatre would ever consent
to perform on Sunday, and he believed that such was the feeling of his
Profession. Also, he stated that great numbers of actors and actresses
regularly go to church. It is satisfactory to know this, and likewise
that the Stage does not encourage Dissent.

A long debate, begun by Mr. Corrance, on Pauperism and Va-
grancy. Mr. Goschen admitted the alarming, extent of pauperism,
and the consequent deplorable increase of expenditure. Nothing par-
ticular came of the discussion, but there seems to be a growing convic-
tion that as workhouses are to be found everywhere, vagrancy is
adopted as an easy profession, and that the tramp should be treated as
a criminal.

Law Court battle again. Mr. Street is preparing his plans for
what is wittily called the Lowe site. Sir Roundell Palmer menaces
his best opposition. By the way, Mr. Punch, who never forgets any-
thing, and is justice incarnate, intimates that there is bad taste and not
altogether fair play on the part of the Government in allowing the Law
Courts Commission, at the head of which was Sir R. Palmer, to be
abused for extravagance and absurdity. For Sir Roundell was Mr.
Gladstone’s Attorney-General in the last Liberal Administration, and
was then entrusted with the business of officially defending the Com-
mission and its purchase.

Tuesday. A morning sitting of Commons in order to deal with the
Cork Buttermonger. As Macheath sings—

‘ The Court is prepared, the Counsel are met,

The Judges all ranged, a terrible show.”

But the Mayor caved iu—denuded himself of his robe—declared by
letter (read by Mr. Maguire) that he had not meant, to justify assas-
sins, and resigned his office. So Head-Master Gladstone, who had
previously remarked, in the old scholastic rhyme, to Monitor Edward
Sullivan,

“ Hie, hocc, hoc,

Lay him. on the block,”

And had taken a thundering rod out of pickle for Daniel O’Sullivan’s