Punch: Punch (57.1869)

86 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAKIVAKI. [September 4, 1869.

with me. so as to turn down corners (not of the book, I mean, of the
MORE HAPPY THOUGHTS. street. 3/em. To work up this into a joke, somehow, "as Sheridan,

said," &c.) and look things out while you think of it. It's merely-
developing my plan of note-books.

To Willis's rooms. Rush up to tell Rawlinson everything about
it. He's not there. Pass the evening in dining out, and coming
in five times to see if Rawlinson has returned yet. At last he
appears.

Sit up with Rawlinson and Milburd chatting. When Bawlinson
doesn't j<o to bed early lie is an excellent hand at sitting url and
chatting. He sits up (when he does sit up) till three or four in the
morning "expecting," he says, "that it's not unlikely some fellow
will drop in." I never yet have seen any fellow drop in at that time ;
so I fancy it's an excuse that Rawlinson makes to himself, so that
" sitting up and chatting" may be set down as an act of politeness.
We naturally discuss Popgood and Groolly.

I ask him whether he thinks they '11 read it. Rawlinson says, " Oh
of course," heartily. Rawlinson always commences with the brightest
view possible under any circumstances, and then gradually introduces,
as it were, saving clauses. He continues, " they'll read it: at least
1 heir man will. Publishers keep a man, you know," (1 don't know,
but I nod as if Popgood's man was a matter of course), " who has
to read everything and advise upon it."
I observe, " I suppose he'll advise on Typical Developments."

Happy Thought.—P'raps he's reading it now, and enjoying it.
I say this. Milburd says, " P'raps he isn't," which he thinks
funny, and I think simply stupid. Rawlinson doesn't laugh. He
sympathises with me in a literary matter, I know.

" I suppose," addressing myself to Rawlinson, " they won't be
long before they give me an opinion ? "

" Oh, no time! " replies Rawlinson, heartily.
" Quicker, if possible," says Milburd. (That's the worst of him -.
he never knows when to stop. For myself, 1 enjoy a joke as much as
anybody ; but this is out of place now.)

;.~^l=lili3l^^--—rfp"-* u.-=sa^-^ Happy Thought.—Not even smile. Take no notice of him.

Rawlinson says, " Oh yes, they'll soon give an opinion ; that's if
he Sitting-down partner (Groolly, I fancy) says to the j they haven't much business. Of course, it may take a year or so before

their man can lead it.5'

Happy Thought.—Oh, Rawlinson can't know much about it. He
onlv talks from hearsay. But then what is hearsay ?

Rawlinson continues, " Those fellows who are paid to read too!
They 're a rum lot.:

partner standing up (consequently Popgood), " This
gentleman has called about his book on—on—"
Happy Thought.—Typical Developments.
bow to one another like waxworks. Standing-up partner
yes, I was going to—-" and looks about fussily. He

evidently thinks that I have been there before, and that he has mislaid " Highly educated," I suppose,
my MS. _ His friend enlightens him with, " fie has brought his MS. They both pooh pooh the idea. I don't care about Milburd's pooh-
this morning." Standing-up partner's mind much relieved. I corro- j poohin?, as he's not in earnest.

borate Sitting-down partner, and we all, more or less, do waxworks " Why? " says Rawlinson, who really does seem to be up in the

again.

A silence. I recommence looking in the manuscript for something to
read to them. On glancing over it rapidly I don'r recognise my own
sentences. It would be fatal to everything if I went on reading what
I didn't understand. Sure to show it.

Happy Thought—To say, "I think I'll leave this in your hands,"
pleasantly.

It suddenly occurs to them at this point to introduce each other. It
is quite clear at first which is Groolly and which is Popgood. After
a short conversation on eeneral topics [ try to name them individually
and correctly. I fail. Havinsr exhausted general topics (we all fight
shy of Typical Developments) I fancy they are getting tired of me, as
Popgood says to Groolly (or vice versa) that he must go to somewhere
that I don't catch. This awakens Groolly to the fact that it's later
than he had imagined.

Happy Thought.—Ingratiate myself by taking the hint.

Hand them the MS. Should like to say something witty and re-
markable just before leaving the room. It I did, I feel they'd consult
together, and say, " Clever man, that; let's read his Typical Develop-
ments," and so on to publishing.

The nearest thing to the point I can say is, "Well, I'll leave this
here, shall I ? " placing it on the desk, whence Mb. Groolly (or Pop-
good) removes it to a pigeon-hole, which looks business-like.

I ask " If 1 shall call again ? " I feel immediately I've said it that it's
a mistake. Nothing like taking publishers by surprise. Popgood
says, "Oh, we won't trouble you to call; you'll hear from us."

I execute a sort of wax-work mechanical movement again, with my
hat in one hand and my umbrella in the other. I say, " Good day,
Mr. Popgood," and both return good day at the same time.

Happy Thought (when I'm outside the house). I ought to have said,
" Gentlemen, I leave my bantling in your hands, you are excellent
nurses, I am sure, and will soon show her how to walk."

I think I've heard this before. Will look it out in Dictionary of
Quotations. Note. Add a Chapter to Typ. Devel., Book 2, on "Tricks
of Memory." By the way, what is a "Bantling ? "

I should say, without a dictionary, the youngest chick of a Bantam.
If it's not that, it's a foundling put out to nurse. I know the simile
■comes in happily, somehow. Ought to carry a pocket-dictionary about

subject, " I was staying with a fellow once who did the reading for
Shaptdr and Webse. He had piles of print and manuscript: just
like yours this morning. [Happy Thought.—I say yes, and smile.
Why smile?]—and he just cut a few pages of one, and dipped into
another, and skimmed a third, and threw 'em away like so much trash.
Of course if you know him he '11 read your MS."

Milburd suggests " Find out Popgood and Groollt's man, and
ask him to dinner." If it wasn't Milburd who says this, there really
might be something in it.

Rawlinson says, " Perhaps they may not even give it to the man.
Perhaps not read it at all."

Happy Thought.—Really Rawlinson can't know anything about it.

From what I saw of Popgood and Groolly to-day, I should say
they were rather inclined towards the book than otherwise.

Rawlinson says heartily as usual, "Oh, most probably. They'll
be delighted at your bringing it to them. Only, don't you see, as
you 're comparatively an unknown man-"

I feel it is kind of him to put in "comparative^, vr, soitens down
obscurity when, as it were, it is only shared in a less degree by Glad-
stone, Bulwer Lytton, Disraeli, Dickens, and so forth-•" of

course you can't expect the same attention as the great names
command."

Happy Thought.—To take this remark sensibly and calmly, and
answer, " Oh, of course not."

Wonder (to myself) whether Popgood and Groolly, immediately I
was gone, winked at each other, tied up my MS. in a clean sheet of
paper, directed it to me, and gave it to a clerk, to be posted in two
days' time.

We separate at last, [Milburd finding out at four o'clock, a.m. that
" it's time to go by Jove ! " as if he'd a:ot to go and meet a bed like a
train, and be punctual to the minute. He does say such stupid things]
and Milburd, as he goes down-stairs, calls out, "Liquor up the_fellow
who reads, and he'll send to old Popkins and Gruel," [he thinks it
so amazinaly funny to pretend to mistake names. He will call Typ. Dev.
Biblical Elephants. Nonsense,] " and say it's the best sixpenn'orth
he ever read. Good night."

We retire.

In the morning, as usual, Rawlinson sneaks down to breakfast,