Punch (59.1870)

40

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 23, 1870.

"WHERE PRAYERS CROSS."—Shakspeare.
Which was poor Saint Swithin to do ?—Spoil the Croquet or Corn ?

THE POPEDOM AND THE PEOPLES.

The People everywhere is King;

For if they have their monarchs still,
At most the sceptre's but a thing

Which signifies the public will.
The Church, or Churches, in a land,
Can only preach; no more command.

Save only by French aid in Rome,

Where Priest and Kin? the Pope doth reign,

And plots, the rule, supreme at home,
Over lost, kingdoms to regain.

Is Heaven's Vicegerent to prevail,

Or will the outworn Pretender fail ?

To win the nations back again,

Unless by miracle he may,
It seems to minds of coaimon ken

That he is going not the way.
The Dogma by most votes defined
Will solve no problem for maukind.

If Rome the science could coi.*fute

Which, if Rome speak the truth, 's uutrue,

Then might Rome's faith again take ro-ot,
And her dominion spread anew.

Her priests at heretics might smile;

To burn the few were not worth while.

Infallibility, proclaimed,

Will but impose upon the flock
Whose reason, to submission tamed,

No nonsense which they 're taught can shock.
Not till the Pope has proof to show
Again will Europe kiss Ms toe.

Wimbledon Whimsies.

On the opening day of the Camp at Wimbledon, ac-
cording to a contemporary, "Lord Goderich made six
bulls' eyes and a large number of centres." The juvenile
reader will perhaps understand that the centres were not
sweetmeats, and that the bull's eyes partook rather of the
pop than the lolly.

THE BOOMPJE PAPERS.

Op course, when we meet the Great Boompje xMaullie, afterwards at
Antwerp, he exclaims—

"What! not seen the Belfry! Not seen the Gymnasium! Why,
my dear fellows, you've missed the only things you ought to have seen."
But this we set down (subsequently) to Boompje.

Before Maullie and his hat had appeared, Gooch is horrified at
the appearance of Mr. Jomp, the Courier. He says he doesn't mind it
while travelling, and, when we were at Lille, driving round the town
in a fly, with Jomp on the box, in the entr'acte allowed us (by Mr.
Jomp's excellent management, who had so contrived our journey that
there was no station where we didn't stop a quarter of au hour at least
—with nothing whatever to do, and no buffet—" Veil," said the inven-
tive Jomp, "uui—urn—um—you can valk about") between the arrival
and departure of the trains; but now we are at Ghent, a town, and
with a dashing carriage (it certainly is that), and a coachman in livery,
with a new cockade, he must protest against Jomp being on the box,
unless he has a costume. What sort of dress ? we ask.

Well, he has seen the sort of thing he means in the Bois, and on a
foreign ambassador's, or some foreign swell's, carriage in Hyde Park.
He proposes something military. (Boompje.)

First proposed dress—Rejected on account of being too much like a
French marechal on the box.

Second proposed dress—Rejected on account of its being painful to
Mr. Jomp's feelings to appear in a footman's dress.

" But it won't be a footman's dress," explains Gooch, "when yon
pet the colours."

Thirdly—Gooch recollected a Polish count, whose servant used to
appear at Baden in various uniforms. Boompje argument: " Why not
be taken for Polish Counts ? "

" The dress of a Chasseur," says Gooch, " would be distingue, and
old Jomp wouldn't mind that."

Old Jomp does mind it, however; but owns that bis present
appearance is not all that could be desired. "Ivould vear anoder
hat," he explains, "um —um—um—"and then adds, after carefully
thinking it out, " if I'ad vmi." Jomp can't say fairer than this,

evidently. Even the philosophic Bayle, who died in a house on the
Boompje, would have been satisfied with this as logical.

Gooch's opinion is, that Mr. Jomp resembles a travelling pedlar
with umbrellas to mend. This comes from our having given him our
umbrellas and our satchels to carry for us. The shape of his hat
probably arises from its having been slept in the greater part of the
way, and sat upon during the rest.

This is the compromise procured in Ghent at a tailor's. A livery
coat, formerly the property of a duchess, but sent back because the
family had gone into the deepest mourning. Black, with yellow facings,
and black tags to shoulders. High black hat, with gold band : cockade,
black and yellow. His (Mr. Jomp's) own collars and black tie, also,
waistcoat and trousers a discretion.

Sunday at Ghent.—First day of Courier in livery. We attend early
masses at various eld Churches ; driving up in our carriage, and Jomp
waiting at the Church doors (Boompje); [Gooch and Bund behaving
decorously, and not bringing Boompje principles into play while the
people are engaged in their service,*] and finally, after breakfast, we drive
to the Beguinage, the College of Nuns, who live in a little town of their
own, take no vows, stay as long or as short as they like, occupy them-
selves in nursing and teaching, and so forth, and wear a white sort of
towel on their heads, which, six hundred of them, one after the other,
as they enter Church, unfold and spread, one after another, all in one
action, over their heads, and then just drawing down the front to cover
their noses, devotionally, retire to their seats.

We three, and four others of our sex, are the only men in the
Church. We shrink into as small a space as possible, and keep near
the door, with the view of retiring noiselessly should there be a
sermon.

It is admitted on all hands, that, at all events, there is no Boompje
here. " The Beguins are not the sort of people to put a Courier into
livery," observes the Secretary to Gooch. Gooch objects to this, that
they do wear a livery. This leading to no issue, the conversation drops

Gooch presently says that up till this moment he had always thought
the Beguins were birds.

Commodore Bund supposes he's thinking of Penguins. Gooch
considers it not unlikely. Conversation number two dropped.