Punch (59.1870)

266 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 21, 1870.

"Your Advice as a Man of the World, Gas. Which of the Two Miss Wilsons shall I take in to Supper? There
they are by the mantelpiece."

"Well, if you take the Handsome one, you'll have to Flatter her; if you take the other, she'll Flatter you.
To a Man who doesn't want to Marry, like yourself, i should recommend the first, as b? far the less Dangerous of
the Two."

HOME AND FOREIGN POLICY.

Now Treaties are torn up and thrown to the wind

By nations regardless of justice and right.
Oar faich to maintain those engagements is pinned ;
That is, if we're certain of having the might.
Let them alone, let them alone,
When they fall out we shall come by our own.

Vienna's arrangements were stamped under foot;

Napoleon France chose to avenge Waterloo.
Ourselves in a frenzy we then might have put,

And plunged into war—but we didn't so do.
Let them alone, &c.

For many a year, by superior strength,
France Italy kept out of Italy's Rome ;

To break German unity seeking at length,
Her Chassepots recalled to work wonders at home

But first we have need to create such a fleet
As all the world's navies shall sweep from the seas.
Let them alone, &c.

They, treaties who break with ourselves, will, no doubt,
Break faith with each other, whilst England devotes

Her simple endeavour to keeping them out,
Of each leave the other to fly at the throats.
Let them alone, &c.

WHAT O'CLOCK IS IT ?

" On Saturday morning Her Majesty the Queen . . . left Windsor Castle
at a quarter past two o'clock, on a visit to Lady Clarendon."—Times.

What an excellent example of early rising the Queen sets her sub-
jects ! And on these dark mornings, when it requires an immense
effort to be up and stirring even at eight! But as we read on we get
bewildered, for we are told that Her Majesty was back at Windsor "at
Let them alone, tec. i ]_ 55 p M> precisely," and that the trip " only occupied three hours and

And now an Italian is mnnan-h of Snain— ! thirty-five minutes." Calculations of time must be very different at

Windsor Castle (or in Printing House Square) from what they are in
Fleet Street; and it would be more satisfactory if some learned Society,
such as the Astronomical or the Horological, would help puzzled readers
to solve this perplexing problem.

About Spanish Marriages we might have fought,
We didn't fight—Louis Philippe's schemes proved vain,
And, left to themselves, came completely to naught.
Let them alone, &c.

We have at this moment enough on our hands—
That let us do well, and not try to do more.

Our own self-defence all our effort demands,
From foreign attack to secure Britain's shore.
Let them alone, &c.

When we have done that, on extraneous beat
Police we can send to quell thieves, if we please ;

Spilt Milk and Worse.

The saying that tuere is no use in crying over spilt milk applies to
all fluids of which the waste is deplorable. Journalists disregard this
saying when they lament bloodshed, and they equally ignore the admo-
nition it implies when they aggravate the bray and the cackle which
tend to war.