Punch: Punch (60.1871)

14

[Jawart? 14, 1871

THE CARPET-DANCE.

First Whist-Player. "Why, Fusby, there's your Wife Dancing ! Who's her Partxer ?"
Fusby. " 0, Goodness knows ! Some Member of the Humane Society, I should Imagine!"

[She was a lovely girl twenty years ago—the good-for-nothing old wretch / —and the wife she'd been to him !

EDUCATIONAL QUESTIONS.

(Prize Questions and Answers: Dedicated to the London
School Board.)

Q. Who was Zero ?

A. A Roman philosopher, who played on the fiddle while inventing
the Thermometer.

Q. State what you know of Plutarch.

A. He was King of the Infernal Regions, married Porcupine, and
subsequently re-wrote the Heathen Mythology.
Q. Who was Theodolite ?

A. A native of Alexandria, and a Christian historian.
Q. Give a short account of Abelard.

A. He was a solicitor who refused to go to the Crusades. His
partner was Heloi'se. They were both buried together.
Q. How many Graces were there ?
A. Nine._

Q. Mention them in order.

A. A Grace before dinner, a Grace after, and Grace Darling.
That's three. Three Graces of Canterbury, York, and Dublin.
That's six. A Grace of the Cambridge Senate, a bad Grace, and a
good Grace. That's nine.

Q. How did Shakspeare make use of Niobe as a simile ?

A. He said she was like a large theatre, " all tiers."

(J. When does a Prussian Serf have a real holiday?

A. When he gets a knouting.

Q. Who were the Nestorians ?

A. They were followers of Nestor, one of the oldest and wisest
Greeks of his age.

Q. State what you know of the Marionettes ?
A. They were heretics living in Syria.

Q. Do you remember any Vegetarians in the fourth century ?
A. Yes, certainly. They were a party among the Arians, just as
the Vegetable-Maro-nites formed a distinct sect among the Maronites.
Q. Who was the founder of the last-named sect ?

A. P. Virgilius Maro, after whom they were called.
Q. Who was Hero ?

A. A Heroine, beloved by Neander, who wrote his Church history,
and was then drowned out bathing.

(Prize given. Examination closed.)

A MUCH-ABUSED MAN.

Their ex-monarch and idol the French who defame,
Still allow him one very respectable name ;
For a Man, at least, Louis Napoleon they own,
Man of Strasburg, for instance, and Man of Boulogne.

By his bitterest foes he's described as a Man,

As the Man of December, and Man of Sedan.

For misfortune, perhaps, more than fault they've maligned him.

As the song savs, we " Speak of a man as we find him. '

When?

The resolute ladies who, sticking at nothing, desire to be allowed
to study Surgery, Anatomy. &c, in our public hospitals, are talking
with triumph of Giorgione*s picture in the Royal Academy Exhibi-
tion of the Works of the Old Masters—'' A Lady Professor of Bologna "
—and anticipating that glorious time when some one of the clever
Scotch portrait painters will exhibit "A Lady Professor of Edin-
burgh." _

union is strength.

Every German soldier, a Correspondent tells us, carries a hymn •
book in his pocket. Very nice this: No Kerr never without ft
hymn. _

" Creature Comforts."—Good Wives.