Punch: Punch (60.1871)

March 4, 1871.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

91

CLEARING A DIFFICULTY-

Irascible Traveller. "I say, Boots, I want to Catch the 4-15 Train.
Bring me a Cab."

Boots. "You're too Late, Sir. A Cab couldn't do it."
Irascible Traveller. " Con-found you ! Bring Two Cabs, then ! "

THE BRITISH WARRIOR'S JOY.

The Times, in a leader on Army Reform, with re-
ference to the Militia, observes that our Force, after next
Midsummer, will include " some 95,000 men who have
enjoyed more or less training' already." In perusing this
passage, many a fat old fellow, a base luxurious slave,
whose soul would sicken o'er the heaving wave, has
doubtless grinned, or even laughed outright, at the idea
of any one, let alone 95,000 men, having enjoyed any
amount of training, however small, and not having, on
the contrary, been pestered and plagued with it.

An obese and indolent fogey says to himself, or to
another such as himself, "Ha, ha ! Fancy enjoying drill.
One can as well imagine oneself enjoying the treadmill
or the crank. Enjoying military discipline ? Enjoying
penal servitude ! Enjoying a camp ? Enjoying the hulks !
Enjoying Aldershott ? Enjoying Millbank! Enjoy
training ? Enjoy ill-health ! "

Ignoble Epicurean pig, read your Shakspeare, if you
are so far a learned pig, that you can ; and see what
Othello tells the Reverend and Gracious :—

" The tyrant custom, most grave senators,
Hath made the flinty and steel couch of war
My thrice-driven bed of down."

Not only is the "hardness" of a soldier's life nothing
when you are used to it, if you are a hero, and not a
Sybarite, but it grows absolutely soft in time, and you
find an " alacrity" in it, as the valiant Moor did. But
of all the heroes, renowned for gallantry, whether cele-
brated by Shakspeare, or by the historians of Grecian
antiquity, there are none who, regarded with a discern-
ing eye to relative merit, will stand a comparison with
the British grenadier. The labour of learning his busi-
ness is itself a delight to him, enhanced by the con-
sciousness that he is therein doing his duty, insomuch
that he really does so thoroughly enjoy his training as
to esteem it a perfect treat. He cannot but feel duly
grateful to the friendly neighbours whose expressions of
affectionate feeling towards his country have obliged it to
stand that treat, and, at some expense, provide him with
so much enjoyment.

have you been done ?

Not long ago the universal question was, "How's
your poor feet ? " Now, with equal sympathy and greater
grammatical accuracy, we say, How's your poor arm ? "

PUNCH'S TOLK-LORE.

ST. DAVID'S DAY.

St. David—a corruption, according to the best almanacks, of St.
Taffy; thus, Taffy, Daffy, in which form it is found in connection
with a well-known patent medicine, Davy, David—is the patron
Saint of Wales, and has officiated in that capacity for many years
past, to the entire satisfaction of his fellow-countrymen.

There is a tradition (first mentioned by Glraldus in his Cambria
and the Cambrics) that as an infant he was exposed on a well-known
Welsh mountain, in a heavy snow-storm, with a turquoise locket
tied round his neck, and there nourished by a goat, an animal which
in its wild state at that period afforded excellent sport to several
packs of hounds, and is still to be found, after careful inquiry, in
the more remote country districts. A shepherd, of the name of
Jones, discovered the child at two o'clock, and carried him home in
his plaid, where the little boy received every attention from Mrs.
Jones and the family, being fed by her and the eldest girl alter-
nately, night and day, with savoury broth, prepared from a receipt
which had been for generations in the possession of the Evanses
(the shepherdess was an Evans), and consisting principally of Welsh
mutton and the finest leeks.

From this circumstance the leek became the national emblem of
Wales, and is worn conspicuously on the 1st of March (St. David's
birthday) by the Prince and Princess of Wales and their youth-
ful family (splendidly gilt), by every inhabitant of the Principality
who is rated to the relief of the poor, by all Welshmen at home,
abroad, and in our colonies—cargoes of this vegetable are annually
shipped to America, Australia, the Falkland Islands, &c.—and by
the landlord and waiters at the " Welsh Harp."

The national instrument is played at daybreak in St. David's and

the other principal cathedral cities, under the patronage of the
Bishop and the Clergy ; and at night an enormous bonfire is lighted
by the Mayors of the Borough Municipalities, wearing their robes
and insignia of office, on Snowdon, which illuminates the features
for miles round, and may be seen, by permission, with a powerful
glass, from the Surrey Hills.

In private circles, ale and excisable liquors are consumed in large
quantities, and the young people have a dance in the evening. This
is characterised by three peculiarities (an interesting example of the
ancient Welsh Triad of the Cymri)—most of the girls in the room
find partners of the name of Morgan ; the harpers are mounted on
the copper, and consume a good deal of refreshment; and at twenty
minutes to twelve the image of a goat and the effigy of Jones, both
garlanded with leeks, are carried in procession by the Men of Harlech,
who march round the garden singing penillions to the tune of " Ar
hydd y nos," and a merry peal from the Bells of Aberdovey, and
then deposit the symbols in the wash-house till next anniversary.

Highland Wit.

A gallant Highlander, with whom his friend Mr. Punch has oft
climbed the rugged Ben Primrose, was shut up in Paris during the
siege. One day he got hold of a particularly dry and husky loaf,
whereupon he wittily remarked, " Mar e Bran is e a brathair," and
wisely ate it. But then you don't know what he meant. The High-
land saying is, " If he is not Bran, he is Bran's brother." Read
your Waverley,

lrus and lrishry.

General Grant has received the Fenians at the White House.
The American Ulysses sadly degenerates from his Homeric name-
sake. When an insolent and violent Beggar came into his white
house, the old Ulysses punched that Beggar's head.