Punch: Punch (60.1871)

Mat 20, 1871.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

201

quoted in the debate. Let Mr. Punch have his due. He mentioned_____ . ^_____ „

last week that Me. Miall expected to have eighty-five votes. PARSON, PARADISE LOST, AND PUNCH.

Wednesday was remarkable only for another little defeat of the -~ ^ M most eases Mr. Punch lets

Government on a Bill, introduced by Me. Mttntz, for the Exemption ^——-3=- _j—l - l|g=_ his Correspondents alone

of Charities from Rates. It was opposed by Me. Stanfeed, and that j _f | .~H^rgr-^—with great severity, and he

gentleman being interrupted by cries of " Divide, 'vide, 'vide!" ===^-^-^»sflfe=ss__i^JlE heartily wishes that most of

chargi d his opponents with wanting to snap a division, because they ^^^^^^^j^^^^^^^^^^MM thorn would treat him in the

were in a majority. His opponents thought he meant to talk the j8jl|lF /^^^^^^^^^^glp same manner. In fact, he

Bill out (that is up to the hour oi Wednesday adjournment), so they - 7 /Wf /fB^^^^^BHJlE lias very few Correspondents,

made a dreadful noise, and in the end beat the Government by 117 glpsi 1 j ■ jplfgia; strictly speaking, for the

to 84. Then they made a still more dreadful noise. Sflj$^,MW ^^fc^3 ML' —Z wortl that writer-, get

Thursday. Loed Hoeghton asked Loed Saeisbeey to withdraw NfRH? <f~^~£0Mjmm, answers and tins is by no

hi. University Test rather than risk a collision with the Commons. gjj^ahMfr^fB^Jg^^^ !n'fus tne state of attairs

Loed Salisbeey, of course, utterly refused to do so, and in allusion ^* .'nHfflr jj^:A==^ »etween Mr. unch and

to his small majority, reminded the House of what Claeendon said $5^ hisktter box'to^s

reputeSo^a^Mo^s honou^good judgmLun^pi^ufeamsrn of ^^8^F^fe^J^^^^g and then however, he makes

^ ^ not apply) pro- Jhe oX

Council. The Dike oe Aegxll denied that there was a grievance, jMpJjll^gg' Jglt' "' ' -'.."Z^TlZ of tli"1 Clmrch'o/Fn^lin^bv

eulogised Loed Mayo, and said that the petitioners were only ii§y*B|jj^jjgF Jjlfcft - ^^^^ Law Established and Mr

enraged at an Income-tax. Quite enough cause for enragement, ^iiijSSm gjpgjrTfe;,11 < ''^ Punch allows the "clerk's

dear Dexe of Aegtel, and Punch wishes that a certain class in ^/irf ^SrC^' X '„;•■ '-JjiSffiiff'„i„„ >> !>„,.„' i,;™ f>,„

E lciiicl li9.ci more of tli© Ind.i3.ii spirit ^^^y^- mm I * uiltiib ±11111 ill iiic

Nothing like definitions. Me. Lowe gave a definition of direct BHfi|Mfl t I more majorum.

and indirect taxation. The former he represented to be that which In9

the payer could not anyhow recover from the community. We pay | __Rector u.

sixty per cent, of indirect, twenty-five per cent, direct, and the rest II

neither. Mr. Punch trusts that the nation is better after this lucid U| MM BsS »ir,—I sent you a stamped

explanation. ! and directed envelope for

Comfort for private folks who now and then commit a carelessness T nmn1 vtm . maart , the return of the verses which

or an oversight. Such serious blundering was made with the 1 <^<^ed you did not mean to insert and I asked you to state

Income-tax Bill that it had to be withdrawn. Me. Gladstone ?our rfson ±or theu\ rejection. I am obliged to you for waiving

wasverysorry. Pooh! a trifle, when one has several things to think m my favour, your rule, lour answer was courteous, but I protest

"i j ' & against your reason. You said that they were composed of

a Another demonstration against the Army Bill, and Me. Caedweee ^different puns strung together in a style not now acceptable."

actually roused into givinf it to his antagonists hot. They were DoJou consider iW a greater person than Milton, of whom

, • Jj x&j;6 a * perhaps you may have heard r Did you ever read this passage from

W^^ronJirnid?06 eC°n°my' ^ a , ^he B*ttle °f ^e Angels ? Jt C0^eS after the discharge" of the

Friday. The Commons sat in the morning, and discussed the
Westmeath Outrages Bill, which was expounded by Loed Habting-
ton. Some Irish Members made speeches against it pro forma, and
the debate was adjourned. A Colonial Debate followed, and Me.
Knatchbull Hegessen made an admirable speech, contending that
the Colonial Office watched with the most affectionate care over all
Mrs. Britannia's chickens at a distance.

cannon:—

M Leader, the terms we sent were full of weight,
Of hard contents, and full of force urged home,
Such as we might perceive amused them all,
And stumbled many : who receives them right
Had need, from head to foot, well understand :
Not understood, this gift they have beside
They show us when our friends walk not upright."

Debate on the conduct of an Asiatic Premier and his master. The \ I suppose, Sir, that Mr. Punch in his remarkable fastidiousness,
Minister is stated to have invited seventeen of his sovereign's rela- would have struck these lines out of Paradise Lost, if he had been
tives to dinner, and to have murdered them all. The Indian Govern- asked to revise it. Are not these " indifferent puns," and yet they
ment deposes the Nawab of Tonk, the sovereign in question, as an | are consecrated by the genius of Milton ?
accomplice. He sends an Embassy to allege that he has been un- j I am not likely to trouble you again, and am, Sir,
fairly used. The matter stands over until See Stafford Nobth- Your obedient Servant

cote returns from America. It is impossible for English persons to '
sanction such methods of getting rid of poor relations, and we hope
that the Nawab will clear himself of complicity with his energetic

Premier. Mr. Punch publishes his reply :—

Reverend Sir, 85, Fleet Street, E. C.

I am too much grieved by your letter to fence with you. I
do know Milton, Sir. The speech which you have very correctly
transcribed is put by him into the mouth of Belial. You do not see
that sarcasm. But you, a clergyman of the Established Church, ask
leave to talk like Belial. 0, dear Sir, go and consult your excellent
Bishop.

Sadly, but sincerely, thanking you for your implied promise, I am,

Reverend Sir, &c.

The Rev. * * * * * *****

CINGALESE.

The women of Ceylon think that the Census was taken there to
promote, in some mystic way, marriages between Ceylon youths and
the widows of Frenchmen who fell in the war. A correspondent,
whose youth is no excuse for his depravity, suggests that the Ceylon
ladies may be right, as widows can marry none but Single-He's.
He is young, and may reform, but this is very sad.

Quaker's Conundrum.

Feiend, I would know from thee when doth a deaf man recover
his lost faculty by a trip down the river ? Dost thou give it up ?
Thou dost; then 1 will tell thee :
When he goeth to Gravesend and Frith. Good day, friend.

Chabitable Teest Act.—Lending a hard-up friend a sovereign,
and expecting to see it again.

Vae Victo!

" Well, Jones, pray how goes it? I hear you've a wife."
"Cat and dog," sighs poor Jones: "that's our manner
of life."

But, a month or so later, poor Jones owneth, flat,
" Cat and dog 'tis no longer, for now 'tis all cat,

A Paeadox.—Do you wish to get up with the lark ?—Then go
to bed without it.