Punch: Punch (70.1876)

[July 1, 1876.

DRIVING A BARGAIN.

Economical Drover. "A Teeck't tae Faa'kirk."
Polite Clerk. " Fiye-and-Ninepence, please."

Drover. " Ah'll gie te Five Shillings ! " Clerk (astonished). " Eh ! "
Drover. " "VYeel, ah'll gie te Five-an'-Thrippence, an' Deil a Baweee
mair ! Is't a Bargain ?!"

MAN'S PLACE AT MIDSUMMER.

'Neath golden sun and sapphire sky-
Here ambient flowers and verdure glow,

To-day, where all, some months gone by,
Was cloud above, and, under, snow.

'Tis but by landmarks' aid I ken

That I am now where I was then.

" Where then you were you now are not "—
To first thought second thought replied,-
'' More than a Tar is in one spot,

On the same deck though he abide,
Throughout his transit o'er the brine,
From freezing Pole to burning Line.

" The shrouded Sun, from Pisces' fold,
Frowned on another point in space.
Now fiery Cancer's claws infold

Apollo's broadly beaming face ;
Our Earth has reached another clime :
So we move on in Space and Time."

Pleasures of Hope.

Sitting till you get the cramp amid the rushes on the
bank, in the hope of catching that big perch which is seen
once in a twelvemonth somewhere in your neighbour-
hood.

Starting off with energy a sentence you have learnt as
a beginning to your speech, in the hope that it may help
you to think of something a propos to say in the middle,
and finally to reach a conclusion.

Accepting a bill drawn by a Jew money-lender, in the
hope he may forget it on the day of payment.

Hurrying out to dinner in the hope to be in time, and
finding all the guests assembled and glaring hungrily
upon you as you timidly approach them.

Diversion from Drink.

The Sabbatarian section of the foes of personal free-
dom rave for an Act of Parliament to enforce '' Sunday
Closing " on the community. Instead of a compulsory
measure for Sunday Closing they had better try to obtain
a permissive one for Sunday Opening—the opening of
Picture Galleries and Museums on Sunday. This Sunday
Opening, by attracting people from the public-houses,
would, leaving liberty intact, go far to answer all the
desirable purpose of Sunday closing.

of the probable saving in cost, and certain improvement in system that
the change would bring about; and finally the debate was adjourned,
on the motion of the Lord Mayor, till the week after next.

En attendant, the weight of the discussion thus far, as far as
Punch can estimate it, is heavily on the side of the Government
proposal. If the Bill is carried, we should be inclined to rank it as
about the best piece of work done this Session.

Friday (Lords).—Merchant Shipping Bill launched to a salvo of
doubts, hopes, fears, good wishes. But look out, Pllmsoll, or the
Lords may yet undo the good done in the Commons. Bill read a
Second Time.

(Commons.)— Morning Sitting enlivened by the little game of
Obstruction, played by the Irish Members, to keep the Irish Judi-
cature Bill out of Committee. Mr. O'Connor Power—we need not
wish more power to him—divided on adjournment, 6 to 210, and
even after that said " No " to the Speaker, as bould as brass.

At the Evening Sitting Captain Nolan delivered a carefully-
prepared lecture on the organisation of the British Army. Pity it
was not given at the United Service Institution. This was followed
by a discussion of Mobilisation, in which Holms and Hardy, Stan-
ley and Balfour, Lord Elcho and Havelock—all the military
talent of the House, egad !—took part. Quite a field-night!

Mr. Hardy means to give the Mobilisation Scheme a fair trial,
and promises to let the country know the truth about its working.
He can't say fairer ; and Punch has no doubt he will do as fairly as
he says.

proposed change op name.

Midhat Pasha, if he succeeds in his plans for reforming Turkey,
to be called " Besthatt Pasha."

The Wheel of Misfortune.—The Treadmill.

SEEING THE FLOWERS.

(Royal Botanical Garden, June 21st, 1876.)

Angelina. We shall be kept waiting here for hours.

Edwin. Well, then, we can walk to the gate. We had better get
out. There are about a mile of carriages before ours.

Angelina. How about my train ? _

Edwin. Oh, it's quite fine. Everybody's doing the same. Tou
can hold it up.

Angelina. We can never cross in front of the horses heads !

Edwin. It's all right—the police arrangements are excellent.

Angelina. Here we are at last! What an enormous crowd !

Edwin. Yes. You know the last was put off on account of the
weather ; so to-day they've a double allowance of visitors.

Angelina. I see. Which band shall we go to ?—the Blues or the
1st Life's ? Can't you get me a chair P -

Edwin. Impossible ! Look ! Every seat entails a pitched battle.

Angelina. Well, we can sit here—on the grass. The toilettes
remind me of the Bois—three months ago ! Well, now we have seen
everything, we had better go home. The Princess went away hours
ago.

Edwin. But how about the flowers ?

Angelina. Oh, it's much too hot to look at them !

(Exeunt.)

Hymen v. Low Wages.

"At a recent meeting of Joiners out on strike in Glasgow, the Chairman
advised young men in the trade who had entered into matrimonial engage-
ments to postpone their execution for a time."

After giving such advice, how dare the Chairman call himself a
Joiner ?