Punch (77.1879)

40

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 2, 1879.

and comfortable, in the House's prison-cell at the base of the Clock
Tower, till the end of the Session. Meanwhile-
Wicked Grissell has flown,

And, safe at Boulogne,

From across Gallic borders

Wires back, " Doctor's orders,"

For health's sake sent away,

For health's sake means to stay.

For a victim if hard-up,

The House can lock ¥aed up.

And so the House did. Punch's comfort must be that for once the
lawyer has got the worst of it—

And that Ward is safely warded,
By the House its Sergeant guarded,
There, within his Clock-Tower prison,
Doomed for breach that isn't his'n,
Till the Session's close to frizzle
Less for self than client Grissell.

Thursday {Lords).—Lord Camperdown called attention to the
cost—"loss," he called it—of improvements under the Artisans'
and Labourers' Dwelling Act, 1875 ! While we kkeep the machinery
of compensation, we must take the consequences.

The Artisans' Dwelling Act is like the Education Act. It can't
be worked so cheap as we might wish ; but the money spent on it is
probably among our best spent.

Lord Camperdown talks of putting the over-crowding clauses of
the Nuisances Bemoval Act stringently into force—which means
turning out the lodgers of overcrowded tenements, at the cost of
more overcrowding or of leaving the evicted houseless altogether.
Better pay twice as dear for improvements under the Artisans' and
Labourers' Dwelling Act. But the compensation machinery wants
overhauling.

[Commons.)—Sir Stafford knocks under to the Scotch Members.
The Banks of all the three kingdoms are to have the power of
limiting their liability. "All's well that ends well." The right
result, but limply and limpingly reached, Sir Stafford, as is but too
often the case with you, when the right result is reached at all. Why

In the evening the House, on the Motion of Sir E. Wilmot, went
into the case of Edmund Galley, found guilty, there seems the
strongest reason to think, on insufficient evidence, of a murder at
Exeter in 1836, and saved from the halter mainly by the exertions
of the present Lord Chief Justice and the late Sir Montague Smith,
then Junior Counsel on the Western Circuit. All Home Secretaries
since then have refused to re-open the case.

Mr. Lowre so declined when he was Home Secretary, and now he
and Mr. Cross both object to declare the innocence of the man, who,
there seems every reason to believe, has been wrongfully found guilty.

" Que diable allez-vous faire dans cette Galeref" Mr. Lowe asks
the House, " When I declined to open the case, how dare you ? "
" Fiat Justitia ruat Pobertus," answers the House. Cross says ditto
to Lowe. But the House, respecting Home Secretaries and Judges
much, respects Justice more, and peremptorily insists on recommend-
ing Edmund Galley for free pardon. It yields so far to official sus-
ceptibilities as not to add a categorical assertion of his innocence. This
may be taken as proclaimed by last night's Debate, in which the
House carried the Home Office by storm. Such cases as Galley's,
it is to be hoped, are not likely to be so common as to make the
precedent a dangerous one.

WONDERS OF THE SEA-SIDE.

Wonder
what on earth
made me take
my wife and
children out
of Town in
suchpositive-

not have begun where you have ended, and spared all this waste of ZHZJI^i 111 ^^^-^^^^t^ oj ij^■ "-' •' weather as

time ?. gWas it that you wished to display your special ability—__Jl.i IMx ^^m^^^^SassS^^^' ' this?

squeeze-ability? The Session has shown us enough of that already, ^^"TZZjj, K mvv, 'sm^^*—^3ES^=S :"- Wonder

Second Beading of Irish University Bill. iz51\ilv^ " Zlwhat I was

As Punch, and everybody with brains in his head foresaw, Go- —;| I] ffi \v\\^>;3^r~//~'Jff|| V^53l - -"-about to se-

vernment means to put money in it. Not yet in the shape of pay- 1ft', jj ^N ,/// m M' WSfsSSSBSSSiSSz lect St. Swi-

ment by results, or endowment, but that may come. At present n\ , ^ - M M a^==3^fcg^^^?5^: thin's-on-Sea

they will bind themselves only to payments for University Examin- _=s| () jjl M\ jlriEI^^-^s^Sr^— of all places

ation-rooms, Library, Scholarships, Fellowships, &e. -— j| f V\ s //J' s%\ ^^S^^SSss^ ^-^^z~ in the world?

The Irish Members wavering—" letting, I dare not wait upon I ^rrrqf | | / /// __5^f jL'%^;=^T=^3:^rzr"'" Wonder
would." It will end in their taking all that is offered them, and -= I J JgTd I Ibb7-"^*^3""—^ why I made

then asking for more, and, very probably, getting it. For once there =-^1 If f JL^u- a point of

seems to be a chance of something like a truce to the long and bitter ""^^^^J =^^' llif-—-~ getting " on the front," and
Irish faction-fight in the school-room. ^_ J^/Xx^ L _^JP--^ paying double: the price for

. Punch has not wished such hearty goodspeed to any Irish Bill m^^^^^^^N -——X Apartments, when the back

since Lord Beaconsfield came in, as to that for appropriating a £^\v must be so infinitely more

million and a half of the Irish Church Surplus to the better payment 5?-' j/§ft\ \ x^^^^ilf "" ~ cheerful ?
of the Irish National School-Masters. And he sees no sufficient ^^^^^^^y Wonder why" I thought a

reason why some more of the same Surplus should not go to meet the /^r^^mS. ^m^^^^^^^^- look-out 'on the harbour in a
cost of an Irish Boman-Catholic University. w\ x^^s^^^- drizzling'fog would be so very

Friday {Lords).—Lord Strathnairn by a bold change of front

ent by One
who Won-
dered a
good deal—
last week.

converted his long-threatened attack on the conduct of the Zulu War
to a slashing onslaught on the Short-service system. His Lordship's
place is the Witness' chair before the Army Committee now sitting.
There his very strong opinions can be placed on record, sifted, weighed,
and put to profit by the Commission. In the^House^of Lords his
denunciation can tend to nothing but public alarm and discomfort.

[Commons, Morning.)—Second Reading of the Bill for Lending
India Two Millions without interest towards the cost of the Afghan
War. This bad way of paying a new debt has the distinction of
pleasing nobody.

Messrs. Gladstone, Fawcett, Laing, Guilders, Grant Duff,
Hubbard and Goschen, Sir J. Lubbock, Sir G. Campbell, Sir G.
Balfour, and Sir A. Hayter, about as different men and different
minds as could be got together, all agreed in condemning the financial
operation legalised by the Bill.

It is not a frank acceptance by England of the cost of an Imperial
War. It hasn't the grace of a gift. It does not carry with it the
wholesome restraints and burdens of a loan. It is less than
England ought to give towards defraying the cost of a war which
was waged for Beaeonsfieldian reasons, and seems likely to result in
Beaconsfieldian benefits to India—an extra-burden of bill-tribes on
our hands; an extra-allowance to the Ameer ; an extra-force of
some ten or twelve regiments; an extra-outlav of a million; and
all for an extra-phrase—" A Scientific Frontier."

_ The House showed pretty clearly its opinion of the operation by
giving the Government a majority of no more than 12 for Second
Beading—137 to 125.

lively ?

Wonder, while 1 wras about it, why I didn't wait until November,
and put up for a month in the East India Docks ?
Wonder when the rain is going to stop ?—just for five minutes.
Wonder what>'s the good of the band playing as if nothing were
the matter ?

Wonder how they can all walk about without umbrellas, in the
undress uniform of dragoon colonels, and not knock-up with rheum-
atism ?

Wonder whether " a two hours' trip for trawl-fishing m the fast
sailing and commodious pleasure yacht, Duchess of Edinburgh" in
a Stygian gloom, would be a lively proceeding ?

Wonder, when the sea looks like cold pea-soup, whether the fish
would even see their way to a little trawling if they had a chance ?

Wonder who the,hopeless fools are who will bathe ?

Wonder what good the children are getting out of being shut up
twelve hours in the twenty-four in a stuffy drawing-room F

Wonder how the people in the dining-room like parlour-cricket,
with heavy scoring, over their, heads continually from nine a.m. to
sunset? , .

Wonder whether they regard as a set-off the privilege ol being
offered stale prawns every quarter of an hour ?

Wonder whether the owners of the two-and-forty empty houses
on the Parade find things generally paying ?

Wonder whether it will pay me to stay here another day ?

Wonder, if I can only get off to-morrow, whether 1 shall ever be
induced to visit St. S within's-on-Sea again, except as a dangerous
and irresponsible lunatic ?