Punch (77.1879)

146

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[October 4, 1879.

"OUR MR. POLYPHEMUS."

" The Polyphemus will be the newest development of war-ship. She will carry no guns, trusting entirely to her ram and her torpedoes."—
Latest Naval Report.

The Classical Mr. Polyphemus. " "Why, it used to be all my Eye." Our Mr. Polyphemus. " Ah, but it's all my Nose now ! "

A VOICE FROM THE SEA.
Me. Punch, Sir,

I can scarcely write for indignation ! I have been grossly
and cruelly libelled ! For the last thirty years I have been a bene-
factor, during the dead season, to the British Public in general, and
the Editors of newspapers in particular. Not one of my enemies
can point to a year in which I have failed to keep my engagements.
And yet because this season I was a little late, a general cry has
been raised that I have shirked my responsibilities! It has been
said over and oyer again that although September had arrived, I
would never put in an appearance ! But I have been amply vindi-
cated. I can only say that if I had known what was being said
about me behind my back, my advent would have been sooner

curiosity. Sir, here is my case. I have heard that this year all the
watering-places in England have been simply detestable. I have
been told that the rain rained every day; that 'Arry and 'Arriette
have had it all their own way on the Piers and the Sands, and that
the boarding-house keepers and proprietors of apartments have been
twice as extortionate as usual. Under these circumstances I thought
to myself, " Why should I not try a new place ? " But what new
place ? Ah, there was the rub !

But to those who dare, nothing is impossible. You may know
that, as a bachelor, I have little luggage. I have not to look after a
wife's boxes filled with a score of different costumes, or a child's
perambulator. Without an ounce of impedimenta I could go any-
where, and I took full advantage of my liberty. Sir, I have dis-
covered a new watering-place !—a perfect watering-place '

Mr. Punch, Sir, I respect you. You are the only man to whom I I will describe it to you—negatively. It is a spot free from un-

would deign to offer an explanation. You may perhaps wish to learn comfortable hotels, dirty lodgings, and overcrowded boarding-houses,

why my visit to the shores of England has been this year delayed. The bathing is excellent, as there are no rickety machines with wet

Well, Sir, I have no objection to gratifying your very pardonable and sandy floors. There are no German bands, Italian organ-