Punch (77.1879)

252

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEI. [November 29, 1879.

A CHURCHWARDEN'S QUESTION.

agacious Me. Punch,

Among divers let-
ters on the contemplated
patching, cobbling, or tin-
kering, as it were, of St.
Mark's, Yenice, whichhave
appeared in the Times, you
perhaps noticed a some-
what remarkable one, to
which the letter " G." is
appended. " G." desires
to ask a question, and asks
accordingly :—

" What are the Venetians
proposing to do more than
every medieeval builder was
ready to do at a moment's
notice to the works of his pre-
decessors ? Medieval builders
nerer hesitated to pull down
and re-build or to alter in the
most ruthless fashion. Hence,
surely, the great historical in-
terest of mediaeval buildings.
"Why should not the Venetians
be allowed to do what we are
so glad the builders of Peter-
borough or Canterbury did ? "

Why, " G." ? Do you
wish to know ? Because
the Venetians are artists
of a very different grade
from the architects who built Canterbury and Peterborough. If
these latter altered the works of their predecessors, it was as though
a Michelangelo, say, improved, or tried to improve, upon the
composition of a Francia. The same improvement might be at-
tempted by a modern house-painter and decorator, and this is
what the Yenetians threaten St. Mark's with. But " G." proceeds
to argue :—

" History does not end with any particular century ; and if any society had

been strong enough to prevent the Decorated architects from meddling with
the Early English churches, should we not have lost by the prevention ? "

Perhaps ; though is it not, Mr. Punch, a very disputable matter
of opinion whether the Decorated Architects would not have done
better than they did, if they had restricted themselves to working in
their own style and had left Early English work alone ? However,
friend "G." is quite right in urging that "History does not end with
one particular century." Of course not; but Architecture can de-
generate—can't it ? History did not end with the seventeenth cen-
tury, or when the House of Hanover came to the Crown. Then
commenced the Georgian era of History, and with it the Georgian
style of Architecture, and the Georgisation or Churchwardenisation
of not a few mediaeval churches. This appears to be pretty nearly
the sort of process which the Yenetian "restorers" propose ap-
plying to St. Mark's Cathedral, and therefore, perhaps, it is that
their apologist " G." adopts that signature, meaning thereby
"Georgian." If so, he signs himself "G." appropriately enough;
but might he not as aptly write himself down "A."? You need
not, of course, answer this question in condescension to the capacity
of any one of all your innumerable readers. Imagine me, Sir,
yours truly, an Architectural Connoisseur descended—collaterally
of course-from William oe Wykeham.

Empty Benches out of Place.

Might Punch take the liberty of asking the Governors of that
wealthy institution, the Foundling Hospital, how it is that, with
a handsome Chapel, a competent Clergyman, an efficient Choir, and
a willing Organist, the congregation at the afternoon services, exclu-
sive of the children of the Hospital, varies from three to ten, includ-
ing Yerger's children ? Can this miserable meagreness of outside
attendance have any connection with the printed board outside,
requesting people (not Governors) to pay on admission; and, if so,
might it not be an advantage to the crowded neighbourhood of Gray's
Inn if one Board—of Governors—abolished the other board—of "pay
at the doors," so that the beautiful service might be offered up
before a congregation, instead of empty benches ?

Egg and Cockatrice. — Confiscation Cromwellian : Agitation
Parnellian.

A VOICE FROM THE WEST.

Measter Punch,

I 'th close sheltered combe, by th' pond, where th' riv'let retarded its flow,
With th' dusty barn-doors open'd wide, an' th' cow-stalls all 'rang'd in a row,
There was old Uncle Joe's Yenny-Court, as it stood in our forefathers' time,
Wi' its gables, an' chimneys, an' porch, an' th' dairy-house whiten'd wi' lime.
Where th' swallows i' morn began twitterin', Aunt Ann began bustlin' about,
An' at slug-a-bed maids while she'd rate, Uncle Joe yellin' loud w'd turn out,
An' a-field sharp th' teams vor th' hay, or, in barton, help milken th' cows;
No peace vor the lazy was there, when the Farmer an's Dame 'gan t' rouse!
There was plenty vor all hands to do, as in, quick, pass'd th' pails foamin' full,
Th' scaldin', th' mixin', th' skimmin'; th' light laughter o' maids never dull;
There was Dolly, an' Kitty, an' Prue, wi' their coats all tuck'd up to their knees,
While, a-turnin' the churn, i' th' corner, raw-bon'd Roger groan'd, never
at ease!

But away, i' th' dairy so cool, 'mong th' milk leads, th' curds, an' th' cream,

Cousin Mary w'd stand, wi' bare arms, so sweet, as a shape in a dream !

To see her a-mouldin' th' butter, while a-warblin' some wold ballad tune,—

Th' pink tips o' her white nimble fingers, like th' blooth o' th' dog-rose i' June!

Alas ! all th' property's gone!—how it veil away needs not t' tell:

All th' wold volk be pass'd to their rest ; an' poor Mary is now never well!

But how they do manage up there—at Yenny Court—now, t'is a plan

Yor a-workin' a Dairy Farm well, as do stagger a wold f armin' man !

Uncle Joe own'd th' land, ye must know, work'd hard, an', wi' no rent t' pay,

They all liv'd a free, happy life, an contented, while all pull'd oone way.

But when t'was a-sold—Yenny-Court, t'was a-bought by a mighty rich lord,

Who a tenant must have t' pay rent; let us hope he t' pay't can afford !

But dtheus is th' curious thing; dtheus new tenant pays rent an' finds stock,

But 'e lets all th' dairyin' off, at a price, to a man in a smock!

An' th' wold double cottage, below, wi' its small di'mond casements so quaint,

Is all done up, an' righted complete, wi' new peaper, new glass, an' new paint;

Yor th' Dairy-man must hev a house, vor hisself, an' his children, an' wife;

But why they be wanted at all, why I can't understand vor me life !

"Ye can't get two bites of a cherry," was a sayin' when I was a boy,

But i' dtheus case they try t' get three .'■—a meal which I hope they'll enjoy.

What's dtheus pother about a piano f—t' isn't music as does any harm!

When I was a boy, there was music, an' sweet, too ! at Yenny Court Farm :

When Mary w'd zing of an eve'inen, or young Joe breathe his soul thro' th' flute,

There was rapture in many a heart, an' all our young voices were mute ;

When th' tasks o' th' day were all done, an' th' bat roun' th' rick-yard w'd flit,

What mwore blessed thing c'd there be, than thus out in orchet t' zit!

But, I fear, dtheus new tenant's young wife has never a
task vor t' do,

No more an' she mid hev if she were th' wife ov a Gent.,
or a Jew,

Why a plain dairy-farm sh'd be let, an' thus sub-let's a

question o' taste,
But on th' basis o' cash, an' p'raps brains, I think it's a

question o' waste;
There's a factor too much i' th' sum, cast it up, or turn

't round, as ye may,
An' a profit t' find we must take th' sub-tenant or the

tenant away.

Gi'e th' former mwore coin in his pouch, or th' latter

mwore fitness vor's place,
But together they ride overweighted—an' th'

Yankee must win such a race.

Jere Smallbone.

"Ex Nilo-

At the late meeting of the Anglo-Egyptian Banking
Company, the Chairman, while announcing a dividend,
gave his opinion "that a steady stream of prosperity had
set in on Egypt, consequent on the overflow of the Nile,"
and he hoped that there would now be a satisfactory
arrangement between the bank and the Egyptian
Government.

The misfortune for the shareholders is that the tide of
prosperity—i.e., the Nile—never can set in on Egypt
without over-running its banks, or overdrawing them.
Let us hope the new Controller may do something to
keep—if not the river—the Khedive, at least—within
banks and bounds.

In more Places than One.

" Every prospect of bad weather. Ships ordered to sea."
A little later—

" "Weather now fine. Ships returning.''

Surely the above telegrams, sent in the course of last
week, by Lloyd's agent, from Madras, might have come
from Admiral Hornby, at Malta.

&%" To CoEEESPOifDENis.—The Editor does not hold himself bound to acknowledge, return, or pay for Contributions. In no case can these be returned unless accompanied by a

stamped and directed envelope. Copies should be kept.