Punch: Punch (91.1886)

222 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. LNovbmbhb 6, 1886.

WHY, INDEED?

"Mammy, dear, ought one to ask, when one doesn't know a thing?" "Yes, Darling. I've always told you to."

"Then, why did you Marrt Papa?"

LITTLE MEPHISTOPHELES.

[Freely Adapted from '1 Faust.")

Faust .... Marquis of S-l-sb-ry.
Mephistopheles. Lord II-nd-lph Ch-rch-ll.
Brander . . . Marquis of H-rt-ngt-n.
Frosch. . . . Mr. Oh-mb-bx-n.
Siebel .... Mr. J-sse C-ll-ngs.
Altmayer. . . Mr. Ch-pl-n.

Unionist Cellar in London. A Drinking
''Party."

Mephistopheles (fe> Faust). Tnowwill introduce
This jovial, this united erew. [to you

Life must not idly glide away,
And we have had our holiday.
Don't look so glum, or shirk consent,
A little wit will all content.
The Party which has lost its "tail"
Its chronic sickness must bewail,
Put these—whilst their support they give,
Joyous and free from care we '11 live.

Siebel. What take you now these travellers
to be?

Frosch. No matter. They shall never hum-
bug me.

I fancy both of them are nobly bom;
One looks dissatisfied and full of scorn.
Brander. The other 'a but a mountebank, I
bet.

Siebel. Most like.

Frosch. Have patience. I'11 score off him yet.
Mephistopheles (to Faust). These chaps your

superciliousness scent out.
Give them fair greeting, though it strain

your throat.
Faust. Your humble servant, Gentlemen!

Siebel. Thanks. We return your kind salute.
{Aside, glancing at Mephistopheles.)
How well he hides the cloven foot!
Mephistopheles. Are we allowed to sit among
you ? Then,
Even without strong tipple or small beer,
Good company at least our hearts will cheer.
Altmayer. You 're a convivial gentleman,
'tis clear.

Frosch. Y'ou're doubtless recently from
Perlin ? Pray,
Did you with our friend Otto chance to
sup?

Mephistopheles. Well, no. I passed his place,
but did not stop.
I do not fancy he 'd have much to say,
Peing a deep and diplomatic gent,
Save general greeting and bald compliment.
Unless I err, as we drew near,

We heard some practised voices pealing.
A song must admirably here
Ee-eeho from this vaulted ceiling.
Altmayer. Give us one then.
Mephistopheles. Oh, well, I '11 do my best.
Frosch. And let it have a chorus for the rest.
Mephistopheles (sings) :—

Onoe on a time a Party ,

Possessed a clever—midget,
The which they fondly treasured,
Though oft it made them fidget.
Their tailor then they summoned,

The tailor to him goes;
"Measure me," says the youngster,
" For collar, breeks, and hose."
Altmayer. Let him the tailor strictly charge,
The nicest measurement to take,
And, as he loves his head, to make
The collar neat, and not too large!

Mephistopheles. In togs too large and loose
for him,
Behold the younker drest,
With huge sharp-pointed collars,

Projecting o'er his breast.
They Party Leader made him,
His influence was so great,
And all his poor relations,
Held offices of State.

The fogies and old ladies,

Were dreadfullydistrest;
The Premier and his henchmen,

Were bitten by the pest.
And yet they dared not show it,

Or chase the midge away.
Midge-worship is so catching,

The cultus of the day.

Chorus (shouting).
Midge-worship is so catching, &c,

Altmayer. Who now that midge shall catch
and kill ?

Brander. Hurrah for wine and Union still!
Mephistopheles. Were but your wine of a

superior tap,
A glass to Union I'd gladly drain.
Frosch. Well turn us on a better one, old

chap.

And we will join you in a loyal strain.
Faust (aside). Humph! If he tipples, I per-
force must follow,
And what a mouthful I shall have to
swallow!

Mephistopheles. Fetch me a gimlet! Now,

what will you take ?
Altmayer. How mean you ? Have you wine

of every sort ?