Punch: Punch (100.1891)

March 21, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

135

But modern Frogdom, 'which had champions
Had read old ^Esop's fable, [able,
And of King Stork's appearance far from
amorous.
Croaked forth a chorus clamorous
Of resonant rebellion. These, upreared
On angry legs, waved arms that nothing
feared;

King Log defending. Great Cbaugasldes,
Among batrachian heroes first with ease,
With ventriloquial vehemence defied _
The long-beaked base usurper. At his side
His fond companion, Phtsignaxbtts 'swelled
Cheeks humorously defiant;
The ruddy giant
Crambophagtjs, as tall as is a Tree,
Flouted King Stork with gestures fierce and
free,

Sleek Calaminthtus, aper deft of eld,
Against the foe a pungent dart impelled;
HtDBOCHAPlIS too,

(Most Terryble to view), [brave
Fared to the front, whilst smaller, yet as
Tiny batrachian brethren, dusk of hue,
Prassophagus, Ppassceus, staunch and true,

Webbed hands did wildly wave
With the frog-host against the beaky bird—
" He be our King ?" they loudly cried.
"Absurd!

" Not Mercury, nor Jupiter we beg

For a devouring despot, lank of leg,

Of prying eye, and frog-transfixing beak ;

Though singly we seem weak,
United we are strong to smite or scoff.
Off, would-be tyrant, off !!! "

Chtjbch and Stage.—Let no rabid Church-
men, of any school of thought, ever again take
exception to the irreligious character of play-
house entertainments. Let them read the
advertisement of the Lyceum Theatre in The
Times for March 13 :—" During Holy, Week
this theatre will be closed, re-opening on
Saturday, March 28, with The Bells, which
will also be played on Easter Monday night."
Could any arrangement be more thoroughly
in harmony with general ecclesiastical prac-
tice ? Any liturgical student knows that the
bells are played once on Holy Saturday, and
that they should be played on.Easter Monday
is a matter of course.

TRACKS FOR THE TIMES.

[A Magistrate has just decided that the Police
have a right to interfere with the growing practice
of usirjg the public roads of the Metropolis at night-
time as running-grounds for athletes.]

I come from haunts of smoke and grime,

I start in some blind alley,
And race each night against Old Time

Enthusiastically!

I dodge past frightened City gents,
And sometimes send them flying,

Which makes them cherish sentiments
Not wholly edifying.

I wind about, and in and out,
Along the crowded pavement,

While here and there the mockers flout
My costume and behavement.

I slip, I slide, I flash, I flee

Amid the teeming traffic,
And drivers often use to me

Idioms extremely graphic.

I murmur when a Lawyer's view

Absurdly tries to hinder
My turning public roads into

A private path of cinder.

Yet still to " spart," agile, alert,'

Shall be my one endeavour ;
For Cits may stare, and Jehus jwear,

But I run on for ever !

11IP

THE BLIZZARD.

Mrs. Seldom-Festive "At Home" (and the Best Place too!), March 9, 1891.

(10 to 1 Nobody turns up.)

A DIARY OF DOVER.

March, 1891.—Fearful storm in the Channel, when the Victoria is all but lost. Proposals
in all the newspapers for the immediate commencement of an adequate harbour.

April, 1892.—Hurricane in the Channel, when seventeen ships are lost, and the
Club Train Boat (without passengers) is carried, high and _ dry, as far as Amiens,
by the force of the weather. Renewed suggestions for the immediate building of an
adequate harbour.

May, 1893.—Cyclone in the Channel, in which the British Fleet disappears. The news-
papers once more urge the immediate commencement of the proposed adequate harbour.

June, 1894. — Disaster in the_ Channel. Every single vessel swamped, owing to the
terrific weather. Again the Press invites commencement of an adequate harbour.

July, 1895.—Members of both Houses of Parliament, invited to take part in a State
function at Calais, having been put to considerable inconvenience, immediate orders are
given for the prompt commencement of the much-needed adequate harbour at Dover.

"August, 19—.—Proposed adequate harbour having employed the hands, night and day,
of thousands of workmen, at enormous expense (owing to urgent pressure), is at length opened
to the public, amidst universal rejoicing.