Punch: Punch (100.1891)

136 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 21, 1891.

MR. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.

{Condensed and. Revised Version by Mr. P.'s Own Harmless Ibsenite.)

No. I.-ROSMERSHOLM.
Act I.

I don't want any supper. [He lights a candle, and goes out; pre-
sently his footsteps are heard overhead, as he undresses. Rebecca
pulls a bell-rope.

Reb. [to Madam Helseth, who enters with dishes.) No, Mr.
Rosmer will not have supper to-night. {In a lighter tone.) Perhaps
he is afraid of the nightmare. There are so many sorts of White
. Horses in this world!

Sitting-room at Rosmershblm, with a stove, flower-stand, windows, j jj£a^t jfi[. {shaking). Lord! lord! that Miss West—the things she
ancient and modern ancestors, doors, and everything handsome \ does say! [Reb. goes out through door, knitting antimacassar
about it. Rebecca West is sitting knitting a large antimacassar thoughtfully, as Curtain falls,
which is nearly finished. Now and then she looks out of a Apt TT

window, and smiles and nods expectantly to someone outside. I [

Madam Helseth is laying the table for supper. Rosmeb's study. Doors and windows, bookshelves, a writing-table.

Rebecca {folding up her work slowly). But tell me precisely, Boor, with curtain leading to B.o&^s bedroom Rosier dis-
what about this White Horse ? [Smiling quietly. \ c°veJed l£ a ^okmg-jacket cutting a pamphlet with a paper-

Madam Helseth. Lord forgive you, Mi™ 1-(fetching cruet-stand, ! knife. There is a knock at the door. Rosmer says. Come
and placing it on table)-hut you 're making fun of me! *»; Rebecca enters m a morning wrapper and curl-papers.

Rebecca {gravely). No, indeed. Nobody makes fun at Rosmers- Sh{ sits on a chair close tc> Rosmer, and looks over his shoulder
holm. Mr. Rosmer would not understand it. {Shutting window.) a* he cuts the leave8' Rector Kboll w shown u?,'
Ah, here is Rector Kboll. {Opening door.) You will stay to Kroll {lays his hat on the table and looks at Reb. from head to
supper, will you not, Rector, and I will tell them to give us some foot). I am really afraid that 1 am in the way.

little extra dish. Reb. {surprised). Because I am in my morning wrapper and

Kroll {hanging up his hat in the hall). Many thanks. {Wipes1 curl-papers? You forget that I am

his boots.) May I come in? {Comes in, puts down his stick, sits down, and emancipated, Rector Kboll.

looks about him.) And how do you and Rosmer get on together, eh? iSSSkx [She leaves them and listens behind

Reb. Ever since your sister, Beata, went mad and jumped into the mill- iP^J?\) curtain in Rosmer's bedroom,

race, we have been as happy as two little birds together. {After a pause, J \j» Rosmer. Yes, Miss West and I have

sitting doion in arm-chair.) So you don't really mind my living here all vate^ • -Mj worked our way forward in faithful

alone with Rosmer ? We were afraid ; WML comradeship.

you might, perhaps. tiiD^ a^'! 3^ Kroll {shakes his head at him

Kroll. Why, how on earth—on the -W%^^^r slowly). So I perceive. Miss West is

contrary, I shouldn't object at all if flmSfk -\ J^^^~^Lx^^. naturally inclined to be forward. But,

you-{looks at her meaningly)—h'm! ^mlrlS x' '^m^n'mTi^P^ I say, really you know-• However,

Reb. {interrupting, gravely). For J$rw®-&J\ ^PsR vmm tmar'"^ I came to tell you that poor Be.\ta was

shame, Rector; how can you make /^YxP' mm^mmM^ no^ 80 ma<* as sne looked, though

such jokes! ■i~7Tri\' 1? '$£0 'H^lPf ■ sFmlffli^Wm dowers did bewilder her so. {Taking

Kroll {as if surprised). Jokes? We fi IM l^f^mL'-^) 'ig§pi^ I MmBMMtlm off his gloves meaningly.) She jumped

do not joke in these parts—but here is Wv/« X^JP^f) r" ' ' "^-^^iSwf^l into the mill-race because she had an
Rosmer. WS^^v^^^) ' wftvmllMm'- ''A idea that you ought to marry Miss West!

[Enter Rosmeb, gently and softly. | iJIBiw■^wpt*' t -■ mwWwmmW 'M m Rosmer {jumps half up from his

Rosmer. So, my dear old friend, you |i;^|\uKi^Wi^V ,%X mlMiUiM ^-1 °hair). I? Marry—Miss West! my

have come again, after a year's absence. j» >w» y&^&jpd W$-s^' MIMmmltffli lllfil good gracious, Kroll ! I don't under -

{Sits down.) We almost thought fflHiVr f -WmBIBSHSBM foVvlu stand, it is most incomprehensible.

that- P^^XwA Ip ■ 'r ^HBBPHll'fiw {^oks fixedly before him.) Row can

Kroll {nods). So Miss West was fflljy^ WKI&MilVw people-{looks at him for a moment,

f-aying—but you are quite mistaken. ipr^W:''1^*4^'' - '\> Wm\ Vwi\ W then rises.) Will you get out ? {Still

I merely thought I might remind you, ^^^^My^^mX^^ M!H Ymk/ quiet and self-restrained.) But first

if I came, of our poor Beata's suicide, W'.r%$f 1 111 WfflErmr^' WWM mffl *el1 me why you never mentioned this

so I kept away. We Norwegians are %. \% f ^ ' - ^^^f^vi"'^*^ An' before ?

not without our simple tact. v%. \ ' > "^^I^J^ mm Kroll. Why? Because I thought

Rosmer. It was considerate — but f^7-^^^^^^^) ^^fi^kJ^MK y°u were DOtn orthodox, which made

unnecessary. Reb—I mean, Miss \JZl ^*%L/ all the difference. Now I know that

West and I often allude to the inci- ^i-^- ^z3^ you side with Lattrits and Hilda, and

dent, do we not ? ^s^/Z^ * i^V- mean to make the democracy into

Reb. {strikes Tdndstickor). Oh, yes, ^tBs^X noblemen, and accordingly I intend to

indeed. {Lighting lamp.) Whenever " Taking off his gloves meaningly." make it hot for you in my paper.

we feel a little more cheerful than usual.

Kroll. You dear good people! {Wanders up the room.) I came
because the Spirit of Revolt has crept into my School. A Secret
Society has existed for weeks in the Lower Third! To-day it has
come to my knowledge that a booby-trap was prepared for me by
the hand of my own son, Lalrits, and I then discovered that a
hair has been inserted in my cane by my daughter Hilda ! The
only way in which a right-minded Schoolmaster can combat this
anarchic and subversive spirit is to start a newspaper, and I thought
that you, as a weak, credulous, inexperienced and impressionable
kind of man, were the very person to be the Editor.

[Reb. laughs softly, as if to herself. Rosmer jumps up and sits
down again.

Reb. {with a look at Rosmer). Tell him now !

Rosmer {returning the look). I can't—some other evening. Well,

perhaps- {To Kroll.) I can't be your Editor—because {in a low

voice) 1—I am on the side of Latjrits and Hilda !

Kroll {looks from one to the other, gloomily). H'm I

Rosmer. Yes. Since we last met, I have changed my views. I
am going to create a new democracy, and awaken it to its true task
of making all the people of this country noblemen, by freeing their
wills, and purifying their minds !

Kroll. What do you mean ? [Takes up his hat.

Rosmer {bowing his head). I don't quite know, my dear friend; it
was Reb-1 should say. Miss West's scheme.

Kroll. H'm! (A suspicion appears in his face.) Now I begin to

believe that what Beata said about schemes-no matter. But,

under the circumstances, 1 will not stay to supper.

[Takes up his stick, and walks out.

Rosmer. I told you he would be annoyed. I shall go to bed now.

Good morning! [He slams the door with spite as Rebecca enters
from bed-room.

Rosmer {as if surprised). You—in my bedroom ! You have been
listening, dear ? But you are so emancipated. Ah, well! so our
pure and beautiful friendship has been misinterpreted, bespattered !
Just because you wear a morning wrapper, and have lived here alone
for a year, people with coarse souls and ignoble eyes make unpleasant
remarks! But what really did drive Beata mad ? Why did she
jump into the mill-race ? I'm sure we did everything we could to
spare her! I made it the business of my life to keep her in ignorance
of all our interests—didn't I, now ?

Reb. You did—but why brood over it ? What does it matter ?
Get on with your great, beautiful task, dear, {approaching him
cautiously from behind), winning over minds and wills, and creating
noblemen, you know—joyful noblemen !

Rosmer (walking about, restlessly, as if in thought). Yes, I know.
I have never laughed in the whole course of my life—we Rosmers
don't—and so I felt that spreading gladness and .light, and making
the democracy joyful, was properly my mission. But now—I feel

too upset to go on, Rebecca, unless- (Shakes his head heavily.)

Yes, an idea has just occurred to me—(looks at her, and then runs
his hands through his hair)—oh,my goodness, no—I can't.

[He leans his elbows on table.

Reb. Be a free man to the full, Rosmer—tell me your idea.

Rosmer (gloomily). I don't know what you '11 say to it. It's this.
Our platonic comradeship was all very well while I was peaceful and
happy. Now that I'm bothered and badgered, I feel— ichy, I can't
exactly explain, but I do feel that I must oppose a new and living
reality to the gnawing memories of the past. I should, perhaps,
explain that this is equivalent to an Ibsenian proposal.