Punch (30.1856)

January 12, 1856.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

11


PUNCH'S ILLUSTRATIONS TO SHAKSPEARE.
" Trinculo. I do now let loose my opinion, hold it no longer; this is no fish, but an Inlander."
Tempest, Act ii., Scene 2.

SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING.
Considering the scarcity of Sinecures, they
ought to be at a premium just now, and there
should consequently be a rather brisk demand
for a thing we saw advertised the other day as
" a Sinecure of £1,500 per annum." The candidate
for this comfortable position must be prepared to
" introduce £15,000," or rather to educe and pull
out the sum in question, for which he will be
allowed interest at the rate of five per cent., in
addition to the salary attached to his Sinecure.
This eligible opportunity is offered, with propor-
tionate advantages, to the owner of ten, or even
five, thousand pounds, but the advertiser candidly
admits that to "the capitalist producing the full
amount of £15,000 the preference will be
given." It is natural that fifteen thousand
pounds should be preferred to five, or even to
ten, and we do not wonder that the owner of the
first-named sum should be regarded with peculiar
favour by the patrons of the Sinecure. The
place, to which no duties attach, is said to be
exactly suited to a Member of Parliament, a
clergyman, or even a lady; and as there is
nothing to do, but only somebody to be done, we
have no doubt that parties will be found whose
capacity of pocket and incapacity for work will
fit them for the position.

A Jump to a Conclusion.
It being remarked at supper the other evening,
that there had been a more than usual number of
parties given upon New Year's Eve, for the annual
purpose of dancing the old year out; a small wag,
who unfortunately happened to be sitting within
ear-shot, observed that he supposed the increase
was chiefly to be attributed to the fact, that people
thought it proper to enter Leap Year with a hop.

" SALTING " AN INVOICE.
When the Dictionary of Commercial Slang comes to be written, we
hope the lexicographer will not forget to give due prominence to the
word "Salting," which is used to describe a peculiar operation that is
sometimes performed on " the market." Perhaps the following dia-
logue taken from the report of a trial in the Court of Exchequer, will
throw some light on the process :
" On mentioning one of the invoices the defendant alluded to the custom of ' salting '
invoices as very prevalent at that time in the Australian trade.
" Me. Bsamweli. What do jou mean by ' salting ' an invoice?
" Witness. The price inserted in the invoice is not the true price given for the
goods; it is a larger one, and the goods in Australia are sold upon an advance upon
the invoice price.
" Mr. Bramwell. The invoice, then, is shown to the customer, and he believes the
sum mentioned in it to be the real price ?
" The Chief Baron. Is that so?
"A Juryman. Yes, my Lord; it was very common, I know.
"The Chief Baron. I think that in most criminal courts that I am acquainted with
that would be called obtaining money under false pretences.
" The Witness. My Lord, the buyer has the goods to examine. It was the general
custom.
" The Chief Baron. I think it my duty to say, that I think such a practice illegal
and criminal, and I hope it will Dot be persisted in."
We quite agree with the Chief Baron in his view of the law, but
when we fiud a juryman speaking coolly of the practice as "a very
common one, he knows " we doubt whether that great palladium of our
rights, familiarly described as "twelve men in a box" would find a
:ellow-tradesman guilty of a crime for following what1 the juryman
would have us believe is a common commercial practice.
We strongly suspect that, according to the rules of morality—which,
however, by common consent, are not supposed to apply to trade—half
the business in the country is carried on upon the principle of obtaining
money under false pretences. Every untrue announcement of a sale
" under cost price," every ticket describing an article as that which it
is not, every label in a window attached to any piece of goods that is not
to be had at the price affixed to it, any one of these tricks which meet
one at every turn in every street, is an attempt to obtain money under
false pretences. We do not wonder that when in old comedy we hear
a clap-trap about " the honour of the British merchant," and the
"integrity of the English tradesman," there is a supercilious sneer from
the boxes, a gentle giggle from the pit, and a loud laugh from the
gallery. We have been told occasionally, that commercial roguery is
confined to the petty tradesmen, and that our "merchant princes" are
quite above anything like fraud ; but what are we to say to this " com-
mou practice" among wholesale houses of " Salting an Invoice?"

There is something really alarming in the excessive bluntness of the
moral sense which seems to exist in some commercial quarters; and we
recollect nothing much cooler than the apology made by the witness—a
" highly respectable man," we dare say—who exclaimed in answer to
the Chief Baron's rebuke of the system,—"My Lord, the buyer has
the goods to examine. It was the general custom." It might as well
be said, in answer to a charge of uttering a forged note,—"My Lord,
the prosecutor had the note to examine; he ought to have found out
that my pretence as to its value was a false one." If the custom of
" Sailing an Invoice" is really as common as we are led to believe, we
can only say, that after the declaration of the Chief Baron, that the
Act constitutes a false pretence, and the obtaining money by it is a
crime, it is the duty of every customer to prosecute every tradesman who
is guilty of the fraud in question.

BOOKS LYING ON MR. DUNUP'S TABLE.
The Laundress' Book, with a request pinned on the outside, " Too Be Hat tended 2.
The Washing Book, with an intimation, anything but politely worded, that Mr.
Dunup's linen will not be bent home, until the sum of 18s. 9d., which has been
owing ever so long, is paid.
The Butcher's Book, the entries of which consist mostly of " One Chop," which have
accumulated, in spite of several small sums paid on account, to an almost incredible
number.
A Red Book (1849).—A Blue Book (1837), and a Law Book (1850).
The Twenty-Ninth Volume of Prendergast's " Abridgement."
An odd volume of a circulating library novel, the title-page torn out, but supposed to
be one of Ms. G. P. R. James', as the opening-scene is in Languedoc, and there is a
description of two travellers on horseback.
A Loan Book, belonging to the " Mutual Samaritan Office," in which there are two
entries, of 2s. 6d. There is a lapse of six weeks between the two payments.
A small parcel of writs, summonses, income-tax papers, and papers of every kind,
public and private, but all of them, demanding payment in a very summary manner,
and the majority of them additionally endorsed with a threat that ''the Bearer will
not call again." This miscellaneous collection is kept down i» a state of abject
submission by a large lion's-head knocker, that is doing duty in the character of an
iron paper-weight.
Two Volumes (V. and VI.) of the History of Englani, by Hume and Smollett, which
on being opened are discovered to contain dice-boxes, and to be nothing more than
the insidious cover for a backgammon-board.

a juvenile party.
Lord John Manners gave a grand Juvenile Party during the
Christmas week, which some of the oldest members of Young England
attended. There were not more than five of these youthful celebrities
present, and yet their united ages amounted to upwards of 300.