DOI Heft:
January 19, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0029
January 19, 1856.]
21
Sharp Shoe-Black. " / say, Bill, what's the last Letter but one of the
Alphabet ?"
Bill. " Y"
Sharp Shoe Black. "1 Cos I wants to know, Stoopid."
SENTIMENT IN THE SEWERS.
s
We have heard a very good account of the Chairman of the Central
Board of Works : and we were therefore rather disagreeably surprised
at finding him " giving way to his feelings," at a meeting between Mr.
Apsley Pellatt and his Constituents. This little affair came off a
few days ago in the Borough, when Mr. Thwaites presided, and began
talking about paying " his last respects to his friend Pellatt ; " as if
the meeting had been convened for the purpose of burying that
suburban patriot. The funereal idea was still further carried out
by the exclamation of Mr. Thwaites, that " he could not but feel
strong emotions on such an occasion." Now, although the Central
Board may have got " the right man in the right place," as Chairman,
we hope he will remember that the right feelings may be mani-
fested in the wrong place; and that "strong emotions" are a sad
interruption to business of any kind. It is unquestionably premature
to perform the rites of political sepulture over Mr. Pellatt before he
is politically defunct j and we cannot help thinking that Mr. Thwaites
mistook his own position for that of the Member for Southwark, who
still remains a politician, though the Chairman of the Board of Works
must cease to exist in that character.
Mr. Thwaites could only be paying a last tribute of respect to
himself, if he was at all funereally disposed; and he was, in fact, per-
forming the part of chief mourner at his own political obsequies. If
he must be sentimental on the subject, we trust he will get the thing
over as fast as he can; and go about, if he likes, for a week or so,
carrying his own pall, or decorated with a simple suit of funeral
feathers; so that, by getting it all over at once, his " last respects " may
be literally the last with which he wdl allow his spirits to be
burdened.
If the new Chairman is going to mope over his past political life, and
pine for the days when he might have talked political clap-trap by the
hour—or to calculate it as so much printer's type, by the yard,—he will
find his efficacy much impaired, and the expectations of the public
much disappointed. We, however, hope better things of him, and we
do not doubt that after his first gush of grief, and when he has enjoyed
the luxury of a small barrel—say four gallons and a half—of tears, he
will proceed to his important duties with all the freshness of a lark,
and all the sparkle of a roseleaf that has been " washed, just washed, in
a shower."
Next Spring in the Baltic,
It is said that the next command of the Baltic fleet will, in an
especial manner, contradict the Russian sarcasm, touching asinine
leaders of leonine heroes. Next spring, it is said, Lyons will lead Hons.
AN APPEAL TO AN UNCLE.
Tell me, Clicquot, how came you so ? Oh, too, too strong October!
Let all of us from Clicquot thus appeal to Clicquot sober ;
From Clicquot queer, bemused in beer, no better than a gander,
To Clicquot bright; his head all right—concerning Alexander.
Not Philip's son, of Macedon. whose case they quote to fright us
From gin and ale, in that old tale about his killing Clitus.
We mean him not, to every sot though he affords a warning ;
And yet they don't say he was wont to tipple of a morning.
Czar Alexander—he's the man—the Emperor oe Russia—
Young Romanoff the nephew of the glorious King of Prussia ;
If you can hear, that kinsman dear, save, Clicquot, save from ruin,
With the Allies, if you are wise, speak out to nephew Bruin.
Steep not your soul in liquor's bowl, nor cloud your wits with guzzle;
Tell that young Bear that he must wear a reasonable muzzle—
When be shall see that you and we for his restraint are banded,
Then will he feel that he must deal with Europe single-handed.
His truest friend, you may depend, you'll prove by thus outspeaking,
Not standing still, behaving ill, and playing false, and sneaking ;
Then will his pride be satisfied, contented with retreating,
Having to fight superior might, and cock-sure of a beating.
Think what bloodshed upon your head, King Clicquot, rests already.
It had been spared, had you but dared, to be resolved and steady.
More blood will flow, unless you show more firm determination ;
But you may, Sire, stay sword and fire, and wrack, and devastation.
Shall heroes slain, the battle plain, in larger heaps encumber ?
And the wild-beast and vulture feast in yet a greater number ?
More cities blaze, which we must raze, for such is War's condition,
Unless, 0 King, you do the thing that must compel submission ?
We pause for breath, the work of death, with all our means preparing.
Shall we proceed? we shall indeed, unflinching and unsparing,
If you refuse, as you may choose, to strengthen our Alliance,
And still abet the Czar to set our thunder at defiance.
ATTACK UPON THE CROWN.
That the Crown should have the privilege of rewarding letters, art,
and science, is no doubt held to be the greatest jewel in the diadem;
if the reward come but rarely, the fact, of course, enhances the value
of the gem. Mr. Punch is, therefore, naturally indignant that any
manifestation of benevolence, however small, towards literature in
penury, should be treated with leviry, nay, with disrespect, by any
ungrateful and insolent member of the press. Mr. Joseph Haydn,
author of the Dictionary of Dates—a, familiar book, we believe, to all
scholars: for has it not climbed its seventh edition ?—has been
graciously rewarded by the magnificence of the Crown with a pension o£
Is. tyd.per diem, which, in the annual concrete amounts to £25. Well,
our otherwise much-respected contemporary, the Sun, arraigns this muni-
ficence ; it is not enough, forsooth ! And ior a mere author ! And what
are the Sun's arguments ? We must say, they are tainted with dis-
affection and vulgarity. The Sun implies that even " Herr Raucher,
the keeper of H. R. H.'s cigar-case," might, in his old age, hope for as
large a pension. And why not ? As large and larger ? Are not cigars
more valuable than books ? Is not the Havannah leaf more precious
than any leaf of print ? Besides, tobacco-smoke is made easy to any
head; now it is otherwise with Dates. It would argue ill for the true
dignity of the British Court, should a mere scholar in his claims be
considered before the claims of a Herr Raucher, conservator of the
" well-being of H. R. H.'3 meerschaum !" But the British Court has
not come to that yet; nor is there much fear that it ever will. So the
Sun may blaze as it will. As well hope to touch, memnon-like, the
statue of Queen Anne into morning music, as to awaken generous
impulses in the House of Hanover towards art, or science, or letters.
Do, PAPA, take me to St. STEPHEN'S, when I
Parliament Opens, to see the Fun between
CHARLEY NAPIER and JIMMY GRAHAM.
Reward of Good Behaviour.—The Emperor Alexander has
promised Frederick William, of Prussia, that, if he only behaves
himself, he shall have, on his next birthday, a nice little " Inexhaustible
Bottle" full of nothing but the very best Champagne !
21
Sharp Shoe-Black. " / say, Bill, what's the last Letter but one of the
Alphabet ?"
Bill. " Y"
Sharp Shoe Black. "1 Cos I wants to know, Stoopid."
SENTIMENT IN THE SEWERS.
s
We have heard a very good account of the Chairman of the Central
Board of Works : and we were therefore rather disagreeably surprised
at finding him " giving way to his feelings," at a meeting between Mr.
Apsley Pellatt and his Constituents. This little affair came off a
few days ago in the Borough, when Mr. Thwaites presided, and began
talking about paying " his last respects to his friend Pellatt ; " as if
the meeting had been convened for the purpose of burying that
suburban patriot. The funereal idea was still further carried out
by the exclamation of Mr. Thwaites, that " he could not but feel
strong emotions on such an occasion." Now, although the Central
Board may have got " the right man in the right place," as Chairman,
we hope he will remember that the right feelings may be mani-
fested in the wrong place; and that "strong emotions" are a sad
interruption to business of any kind. It is unquestionably premature
to perform the rites of political sepulture over Mr. Pellatt before he
is politically defunct j and we cannot help thinking that Mr. Thwaites
mistook his own position for that of the Member for Southwark, who
still remains a politician, though the Chairman of the Board of Works
must cease to exist in that character.
Mr. Thwaites could only be paying a last tribute of respect to
himself, if he was at all funereally disposed; and he was, in fact, per-
forming the part of chief mourner at his own political obsequies. If
he must be sentimental on the subject, we trust he will get the thing
over as fast as he can; and go about, if he likes, for a week or so,
carrying his own pall, or decorated with a simple suit of funeral
feathers; so that, by getting it all over at once, his " last respects " may
be literally the last with which he wdl allow his spirits to be
burdened.
If the new Chairman is going to mope over his past political life, and
pine for the days when he might have talked political clap-trap by the
hour—or to calculate it as so much printer's type, by the yard,—he will
find his efficacy much impaired, and the expectations of the public
much disappointed. We, however, hope better things of him, and we
do not doubt that after his first gush of grief, and when he has enjoyed
the luxury of a small barrel—say four gallons and a half—of tears, he
will proceed to his important duties with all the freshness of a lark,
and all the sparkle of a roseleaf that has been " washed, just washed, in
a shower."
Next Spring in the Baltic,
It is said that the next command of the Baltic fleet will, in an
especial manner, contradict the Russian sarcasm, touching asinine
leaders of leonine heroes. Next spring, it is said, Lyons will lead Hons.
AN APPEAL TO AN UNCLE.
Tell me, Clicquot, how came you so ? Oh, too, too strong October!
Let all of us from Clicquot thus appeal to Clicquot sober ;
From Clicquot queer, bemused in beer, no better than a gander,
To Clicquot bright; his head all right—concerning Alexander.
Not Philip's son, of Macedon. whose case they quote to fright us
From gin and ale, in that old tale about his killing Clitus.
We mean him not, to every sot though he affords a warning ;
And yet they don't say he was wont to tipple of a morning.
Czar Alexander—he's the man—the Emperor oe Russia—
Young Romanoff the nephew of the glorious King of Prussia ;
If you can hear, that kinsman dear, save, Clicquot, save from ruin,
With the Allies, if you are wise, speak out to nephew Bruin.
Steep not your soul in liquor's bowl, nor cloud your wits with guzzle;
Tell that young Bear that he must wear a reasonable muzzle—
When be shall see that you and we for his restraint are banded,
Then will he feel that he must deal with Europe single-handed.
His truest friend, you may depend, you'll prove by thus outspeaking,
Not standing still, behaving ill, and playing false, and sneaking ;
Then will his pride be satisfied, contented with retreating,
Having to fight superior might, and cock-sure of a beating.
Think what bloodshed upon your head, King Clicquot, rests already.
It had been spared, had you but dared, to be resolved and steady.
More blood will flow, unless you show more firm determination ;
But you may, Sire, stay sword and fire, and wrack, and devastation.
Shall heroes slain, the battle plain, in larger heaps encumber ?
And the wild-beast and vulture feast in yet a greater number ?
More cities blaze, which we must raze, for such is War's condition,
Unless, 0 King, you do the thing that must compel submission ?
We pause for breath, the work of death, with all our means preparing.
Shall we proceed? we shall indeed, unflinching and unsparing,
If you refuse, as you may choose, to strengthen our Alliance,
And still abet the Czar to set our thunder at defiance.
ATTACK UPON THE CROWN.
That the Crown should have the privilege of rewarding letters, art,
and science, is no doubt held to be the greatest jewel in the diadem;
if the reward come but rarely, the fact, of course, enhances the value
of the gem. Mr. Punch is, therefore, naturally indignant that any
manifestation of benevolence, however small, towards literature in
penury, should be treated with leviry, nay, with disrespect, by any
ungrateful and insolent member of the press. Mr. Joseph Haydn,
author of the Dictionary of Dates—a, familiar book, we believe, to all
scholars: for has it not climbed its seventh edition ?—has been
graciously rewarded by the magnificence of the Crown with a pension o£
Is. tyd.per diem, which, in the annual concrete amounts to £25. Well,
our otherwise much-respected contemporary, the Sun, arraigns this muni-
ficence ; it is not enough, forsooth ! And ior a mere author ! And what
are the Sun's arguments ? We must say, they are tainted with dis-
affection and vulgarity. The Sun implies that even " Herr Raucher,
the keeper of H. R. H.'s cigar-case," might, in his old age, hope for as
large a pension. And why not ? As large and larger ? Are not cigars
more valuable than books ? Is not the Havannah leaf more precious
than any leaf of print ? Besides, tobacco-smoke is made easy to any
head; now it is otherwise with Dates. It would argue ill for the true
dignity of the British Court, should a mere scholar in his claims be
considered before the claims of a Herr Raucher, conservator of the
" well-being of H. R. H.'3 meerschaum !" But the British Court has
not come to that yet; nor is there much fear that it ever will. So the
Sun may blaze as it will. As well hope to touch, memnon-like, the
statue of Queen Anne into morning music, as to awaken generous
impulses in the House of Hanover towards art, or science, or letters.
Do, PAPA, take me to St. STEPHEN'S, when I
Parliament Opens, to see the Fun between
CHARLEY NAPIER and JIMMY GRAHAM.
Reward of Good Behaviour.—The Emperor Alexander has
promised Frederick William, of Prussia, that, if he only behaves
himself, he shall have, on his next birthday, a nice little " Inexhaustible
Bottle" full of nothing but the very best Champagne !