DOI Heft:
April 5, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0139
Afril 5, 1856.]
punch; or the London charivari.
13]
PUNCH'S ILLUSTRATIONS TO SKAKSPEARE.
" So triumph thieves upon their conquer'd booty."
Henry VI., Part 3, Act L, Scene 4.
THE QUESTIONS OF THE BAY.
What may be called the Questions of tbe Day
are not always those that are discussed in tbe
leading columns of the press, but we may often
find what may be termed tbe Question of the
Day in tbe Newspaper advertisements. For
some years we were almost daily bored wii h
the inquiry, " Do you bruise your Oats ? " and
indeed we were so tired with the impertinence of
the demand that, if we had a propensity to bruise
anything, we might have been half inclined to
bruise the individual who was always wanting
to know whether we submitted our oats to the
pugilistic process. Subsequently, we have bad
an insulting slur cast upon our polyglot powers,
by the absurd question, " Do you speak French?"
and we are now being daily irritated by having
the words, "Do yotj like a Dry, Hot, Mealt
Potato?" thrust before our eyes wtienever we
take up a Newspaper.
We do not feel at all bound to answer a
question of this kind, more especially as a reply
in the affirmative would seem to entail upon us
the necessity of running off to some place in the
Strand to buy a saucepan. We have no right to
be asked the state of our affections with regard
to any particular vegetable, and we have therefore
determined to preserve the secret of our love-
supposing the potato to be the " loved one' —
rather than place ourselves under a sort of mor al
obligation to run out and purchase a pot in which
to boil the presumed object of our attachment.
sentiment for sabbatarians.
Wet weather on Sunday to the Excursion]at—
but let him be recompensed with a Monday flue!
BRASS-BAND TRACTS.
We have been favoured with an early copy of the Report of Pkineas
Wychoker, as made nud delivered to the Sabbath Patent Safety Asso-
ciation. It appears that Mr. Wychoker is an ardent distributor of
tracts among the forlorn people gathered together in Kensington
Gardens on Sundays to bear the band play—a band that, according to
the musical judgment of Mr. W., does not number among its instru-
ments the sackbut and psaltery of David. However, the evil of all
this it is very clear, lies with Sir Benjamin Hall : and if Sir Ben-
jamin is in the least doubt as to his future destination ; that is, if he
is ignorant of the place he must inevitably go to, Mr. Wychoker
will give him the readiest and the most authentic intelligence.
Report of Pkineas Wychoker to the Sabbath Patent Safety.
Respected Gentlemen and Beloved Employers,—Your reporter has
to make known the blessed seed that has fallen upon his poor endea-
vours in the Vineyard of Kensington, at the time when the sons of
Baal blow through the brass of Tophet. Your reporter has to make it
known that for many weeks past he has remarked a considerable falling
off in the numbers of the unrighteous gathered together to hear of
Annie Laurie, and other creatures not to be written down without
defilement of paper. The malignant enemy would insinuate, with
serpentine subtlety, that to the prevailing east-wind may be attributed
the falling off of the gathering of the sons and daughters of the un-
righteous; but the humility of your reporter cannot hide it from him-
self that to the blessed teaching of the tracts he has delivered amongst
the multitude, he acknowledges the conversion of backsliders. Many
comforting testimonies have strengthened his heart and girded his loins
anew to the fight; and it is his faith that he shall finally prevail,
breaking with his hands the instruments of brass, even as Samson
snapped the brazen manacles of the Philistines.
A Mustard-Seed for John Bull's Beef has worked bealingly as medicine.
One copy only delivered in the bosom of a family has kept that family
at its Sunday fire-side; as I am told in love and purity and quiet,—for
I do not believe the scandal that printed tbe name of' the head of the
house in a court of police; the wife of the head refusing to appear
against him.
The Burning Coal in the Sinner's Breast I delivered with affectionate
counsel to a straying sheep, by trade a shoemaker. The tract so
worked m him, that he kicked the kettle off the fire for singing on
Sunday. His wife, slightly scalded with the baby in her lap, looks
upon the affliction as a chastising comfort, and has resolved henceforth
to drink " coid pig " upon tbe Sabbath.
The Sunday Trumpet: or, Who's Trumps now? has proved a tract of
blessed treasure. It has already converted the black cymbal-player;
and is by degrees growing precious fruit in one, of the triangle boys.
A Dead Sea Pippin; or Cinders for the Million has not on y coo-
verted hundreds as I may say from ihe abomination of Sunday music;
but has shut up three Sunday ovens. A Sunday baked potato is a thing
unknown in I won't say how many families. A tinman, who had
hitherto led a disorderly life, always being amongst the Sunday loungers,
marching to music along the downward path,—that tinman a Sunday
or two ago wrung the neck of a magpie, given to sing on the Sabbath.
Indeed, I have no doubt that with the present spring the tracts
will blossom and bear fruit ten thousand-fold. Three trumpeters,
since the tracts were delivered, are gone off with confirmed asthma,—
and the flute is hardly equal to a penny whistle. I need say tbat
these things are very properly considered in the light of a judgmeut
by the more serious; and have lively hopes that,Jong before the
summer is out, a man who blows in Sunday brass will not be had 'or
sin or money.
I have thrown A Double-knock at a Stony Heart, Benjamin's Sunday
Mess, and other tracts down Sir Benjamin's area, but am bound to
declare that it's so much print and paper thrown away. Nothing short
of an earthquake can convert him.
Shameful!
We beg most reverential attention to the subjoined, from the 'Tiser :
" The King ov the Belgians still continues to draw £50,000 per annum, the dower of
the beloved and lamented Pbinckss Chaklotte of Wales.''
And what is more extraordinary, and will still further disgust tbe
patriotic Briton, when he learns it; his Majesty absolutely draws eyery
penny of the money from Aldgate Pump ! We know it may be urged
that Aldgate Pump no longer exists; but that fact—as we doubt not
the 'Tiser is ready to propound or corroborate—only makes the pro-
ceeding the more indefensible.
Adhesive Envelopes.—The most adhesive Envelopes are those
which are delivered by Tax-gatherers, and have printed outside " On
Her Majesty's Service; " for we find that such letters generally lie a long
time on a gentleman's table before they are opened.
punch; or the London charivari.
13]
PUNCH'S ILLUSTRATIONS TO SKAKSPEARE.
" So triumph thieves upon their conquer'd booty."
Henry VI., Part 3, Act L, Scene 4.
THE QUESTIONS OF THE BAY.
What may be called the Questions of tbe Day
are not always those that are discussed in tbe
leading columns of the press, but we may often
find what may be termed tbe Question of the
Day in tbe Newspaper advertisements. For
some years we were almost daily bored wii h
the inquiry, " Do you bruise your Oats ? " and
indeed we were so tired with the impertinence of
the demand that, if we had a propensity to bruise
anything, we might have been half inclined to
bruise the individual who was always wanting
to know whether we submitted our oats to the
pugilistic process. Subsequently, we have bad
an insulting slur cast upon our polyglot powers,
by the absurd question, " Do you speak French?"
and we are now being daily irritated by having
the words, "Do yotj like a Dry, Hot, Mealt
Potato?" thrust before our eyes wtienever we
take up a Newspaper.
We do not feel at all bound to answer a
question of this kind, more especially as a reply
in the affirmative would seem to entail upon us
the necessity of running off to some place in the
Strand to buy a saucepan. We have no right to
be asked the state of our affections with regard
to any particular vegetable, and we have therefore
determined to preserve the secret of our love-
supposing the potato to be the " loved one' —
rather than place ourselves under a sort of mor al
obligation to run out and purchase a pot in which
to boil the presumed object of our attachment.
sentiment for sabbatarians.
Wet weather on Sunday to the Excursion]at—
but let him be recompensed with a Monday flue!
BRASS-BAND TRACTS.
We have been favoured with an early copy of the Report of Pkineas
Wychoker, as made nud delivered to the Sabbath Patent Safety Asso-
ciation. It appears that Mr. Wychoker is an ardent distributor of
tracts among the forlorn people gathered together in Kensington
Gardens on Sundays to bear the band play—a band that, according to
the musical judgment of Mr. W., does not number among its instru-
ments the sackbut and psaltery of David. However, the evil of all
this it is very clear, lies with Sir Benjamin Hall : and if Sir Ben-
jamin is in the least doubt as to his future destination ; that is, if he
is ignorant of the place he must inevitably go to, Mr. Wychoker
will give him the readiest and the most authentic intelligence.
Report of Pkineas Wychoker to the Sabbath Patent Safety.
Respected Gentlemen and Beloved Employers,—Your reporter has
to make known the blessed seed that has fallen upon his poor endea-
vours in the Vineyard of Kensington, at the time when the sons of
Baal blow through the brass of Tophet. Your reporter has to make it
known that for many weeks past he has remarked a considerable falling
off in the numbers of the unrighteous gathered together to hear of
Annie Laurie, and other creatures not to be written down without
defilement of paper. The malignant enemy would insinuate, with
serpentine subtlety, that to the prevailing east-wind may be attributed
the falling off of the gathering of the sons and daughters of the un-
righteous; but the humility of your reporter cannot hide it from him-
self that to the blessed teaching of the tracts he has delivered amongst
the multitude, he acknowledges the conversion of backsliders. Many
comforting testimonies have strengthened his heart and girded his loins
anew to the fight; and it is his faith that he shall finally prevail,
breaking with his hands the instruments of brass, even as Samson
snapped the brazen manacles of the Philistines.
A Mustard-Seed for John Bull's Beef has worked bealingly as medicine.
One copy only delivered in the bosom of a family has kept that family
at its Sunday fire-side; as I am told in love and purity and quiet,—for
I do not believe the scandal that printed tbe name of' the head of the
house in a court of police; the wife of the head refusing to appear
against him.
The Burning Coal in the Sinner's Breast I delivered with affectionate
counsel to a straying sheep, by trade a shoemaker. The tract so
worked m him, that he kicked the kettle off the fire for singing on
Sunday. His wife, slightly scalded with the baby in her lap, looks
upon the affliction as a chastising comfort, and has resolved henceforth
to drink " coid pig " upon tbe Sabbath.
The Sunday Trumpet: or, Who's Trumps now? has proved a tract of
blessed treasure. It has already converted the black cymbal-player;
and is by degrees growing precious fruit in one, of the triangle boys.
A Dead Sea Pippin; or Cinders for the Million has not on y coo-
verted hundreds as I may say from ihe abomination of Sunday music;
but has shut up three Sunday ovens. A Sunday baked potato is a thing
unknown in I won't say how many families. A tinman, who had
hitherto led a disorderly life, always being amongst the Sunday loungers,
marching to music along the downward path,—that tinman a Sunday
or two ago wrung the neck of a magpie, given to sing on the Sabbath.
Indeed, I have no doubt that with the present spring the tracts
will blossom and bear fruit ten thousand-fold. Three trumpeters,
since the tracts were delivered, are gone off with confirmed asthma,—
and the flute is hardly equal to a penny whistle. I need say tbat
these things are very properly considered in the light of a judgmeut
by the more serious; and have lively hopes that,Jong before the
summer is out, a man who blows in Sunday brass will not be had 'or
sin or money.
I have thrown A Double-knock at a Stony Heart, Benjamin's Sunday
Mess, and other tracts down Sir Benjamin's area, but am bound to
declare that it's so much print and paper thrown away. Nothing short
of an earthquake can convert him.
Shameful!
We beg most reverential attention to the subjoined, from the 'Tiser :
" The King ov the Belgians still continues to draw £50,000 per annum, the dower of
the beloved and lamented Pbinckss Chaklotte of Wales.''
And what is more extraordinary, and will still further disgust tbe
patriotic Briton, when he learns it; his Majesty absolutely draws eyery
penny of the money from Aldgate Pump ! We know it may be urged
that Aldgate Pump no longer exists; but that fact—as we doubt not
the 'Tiser is ready to propound or corroborate—only makes the pro-
ceeding the more indefensible.
Adhesive Envelopes.—The most adhesive Envelopes are those
which are delivered by Tax-gatherers, and have printed outside " On
Her Majesty's Service; " for we find that such letters generally lie a long
time on a gentleman's table before they are opened.