Punch (30.1856)

April 26, 1856.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

161

PILGRIMS TO ROME.
On the Maynooth debate, when the brows of Sfooner
were wreathed with a chaplet of Protestant potato-blossoms
■—(since the days of Bottom no head has been so unexpect-
edly decorated)—Mb. Kennedy thought that the Catholic
Church was going up, seeing the number of educated and
distinguished persons who had " gone over." Why, ods-
bodikins! there were no fewer than three duchesses, one
marchioness, two countesses, six viscountesses, and eight
right honourable ladies ! We own it; this is a formidable
list of converts; but then, it must be confessed, certain
ladies—for all the primitive fashion set by innocent Eve-
are mightily given to fine clothes ; moreover, they are great
church florists, and_ have most delicate nostrils for the
saving sweetness of incense and the glitter and. the glory of
painted windows. When a church can be made a little like
an Opera-house it must, to certain pious minds, be made
the more attractive. Jacob's Ladder may be well enough
for plain folks; but tasty people prefer a flight of stairs,
velvet under feet, flowers and painted lamps at the side,
and music all the way.

EXHAUSTED CONDITION OF POOR HENRY VIII. AFTER HIS
" UNPRECEDENTED RUN OF 150 NIGHTS."

THE LIVERY AT A NON-PLUSH.
There is a perfect panic among the members of the
Corporation at the prospect of the Reform of the abuses of
the City. Some of the Liverymen appear to have taken
leave of their senses, but as such kind, of parting has not
been unfrequent, the separation will not be a very painful
one. The following among other outbursts of passionate
distress has been put forth at a sacrifice of common sense
and half-a-crown, in the advertising columns of the News-
papers :—
pOMMON HALL.—LIVERYMEN OF LONDON.—Now
or Never! If the present atrocious Bill is carried, you are done for
ever ! 1 ATTEND at Guildhall To-morrow, at Twelve o'clock.
A BROTHER LIVERYMAN.
What is the meaning of this rhapsody ? What are we to
understand from "Now or Never?" What Now? and
Never What? and why should not the Liverymen of
London just as well be " done for ever " as for ever doing
the rest of the Community ? Echo answers, Y.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
April \Uh, Monday. After another eccentricity on the part of
poor Dr. Christopher Bethell, of Bangor, Lord Albemarle
fulfilled, his promise to bring the subject of Torture in India fully before
the Lords. The exposure of the system was painful and humiliating,
and scarcely less so were the extenuations offered on behalf of our
Indian authorities. It was suggested that torture was a kind of
institution of the East, and that we had inherited, not originated, the
practice. And it was actually urged that the British servants of the
India Company were not aware that torture was used—those shrewd,
vigilant, enterprising officials, who make it their business to know
everything. Credat Hoggins ! Lord Ellenborotjgh, who speaks with
authority upon this point, places the following opinion on record:—
" I must say that I do not think the officers of that service have shown
that sensitiveness, upon the subject of the existence of so dreadful a
crime, which might have been expected from the feelings of English
gentlemen." Punch commends this sentence to his friend, the Friend
of India, and is happy to add, that the Peers of England unanimously
passed strongly-worded resolutions, denouncing the atrocious system,
and demanding its extirpation; and that, later in the week, they re-
ceived with satisfaction the news, that one brutal Torturer had been
sentenced, in Bengal, to five years of labour in irons.
In the Commons. Mr. Whiteside explained that when he brings on
the question of Kars, he means distinctly to charge its fall upon
the English Government. Lord Palmerston stated that Lord
Clarendon, though in Paris, was concocting a most elaborate reply to
the American Government, and that he designed neither to envenom
the discussion, nor to surrender a point in our case. The House then
went into Supply, and Mr. W. Williams displayed a good deal of
vulgar and useless pertinacity, raising, for instance, on a mere item of
salaries, a question which involved our entire colonial system of
administration, and this with the whole House against him, the
numbers being 266 to 3. "Laughter" followed the snobbish demon-
stration, but some people are too pachydermatous to comprehend what
they ought to feel when under the contemptuous notice of a society of
sentlemen. The Consular System came under discussion, and the

Vol. 30.

Premier promised that next year it should be thoroughly investigated
before a Committee,—that is, of course, if his ovvn Consulship should
endure, and we should still date, H. Templo Paimerstonio Consule. The
House kept at these votes for seven hours, when Mr, Hadfield
declared that even the tough "human nature" of a dissenting attorney
"could bear it no longer," and though the Chancellor of the
Exchequer thought the Committee was " not yet exhausted," he gave
in. Sir Cornwall might not have been tired, for the members vote
the money, while the Chancellor receives it, and we know that
exhausting a receiver is not an easy process, especially with such a weak
Pump as Mr. W. Williams at work. Mr. Headlam's Medical Bill,
and another of Lord Elcho's, have been sent to a select committee.
Tuesday. The Bishop op Oxford, with his usual politeness, gave
notice that on another night he should take the liberty of asking
Government to be so kind as to favour him with information whether
they intended to proceed with their little Education Bill. Later in the
week, he acquitted himself of his promise with the fidelity of a Christian
prelate, and received for reply that the Bill was to be thrown over.
Our Eoreign Levies, according to Mr. E. Peel, are to be disbanded
as soon as circumstances will permit. He also said that the French
War Medal will be given to ten of our men in each thousand, the best
soldiers being selected to receive the medal—the others the reverse.
Then fierce old Spooner, shouting to the skies, On vile Maynooth
with boundless fury flies, And moves that Papists shall no longer sack
Our Tin for teaching morals base and black, The priests abuses,
quotes foul Liguori, And plays the honest but most foolish Tory.
Then various champions hurry to the van. Eirst, an indignant Irish-
man, M'Cann, Who swears the doctrines that the priesthood teach
Make Papists valiant in the field and breach. To him succeeds Edina's
Member, Black, Who doth all grants for teaching creeds attack : Him
Hadpield follows, and in Adam's aid, Waveth on high his rusty Shef-
field blade. Rusheth on Spooner young Lord Castlerosse ; Had
he been silent that were no great loss. Lord Bernard whined at
Rome, and Fagan thought A trumpery Saving would be dearly bought.
What boots to name the meaner rank and file? Yet Drummond's
antics may excite the smile, Who read some bits to justify belief That
every Papist is a cheat and thief. One Deasy threatened, should