Punch (30.1856)

Mat 17, 1858,]

PUNCH, OB THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

191


ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
allwski's Treaty of Peace
having been laid before
Parliament, by command of
the Queen, it was etiquette
for Parliament to give its
opinion upon the document,
although, the various bar-
gains having been already
completed by Secret Diplo-
macy, our Lords and Com-
mons were perfectly power-
less. The Ministers thei efore

festations in favour of Italy. The leader of the Opposition deserted his
post; on the grandest subject, all things considered, that B.unjamin
Disraeli ever heard debated in all his life, that aspiring statesman
preserved ignominious silence. Lord Palmerston finished the dis-
cussion, assuring tne nation, that not only had we got all we wanted,
but more, and the Address was agreed to. The Queen has acknow-
ledged the note of the Pailiament,—
And there's an end of the Russian War,
With all its dreadful deeds and dire works;
We '11 think we've got what we battled for,
And at least we '11 go and see the Fireworks.
Lord Panmure announced, on Monday, that the Militia is to be
disbanded as soon as possible ; but Lord Palmerston promised that
the convenience of the nation should be consulted ia some degree.

prepared an Address to Her! He also stated that Suwarrow's and Don Juan's conquest, Ismail

Majesty, and gave a copy
to two members of each
House, selecting persons who
are popular, from their per-
sonal character, but are not

was not to be razed, but to be restored to the Turks in its present
condition.

respective chambers. The
Address was, in substance,
this :—
" Parliament presents its respl- Comps. to Her Majesty : is much obliged for the
copy of the Treaty : would have stuck by its Sovereign like bricks had war gone on,
but feels Joy and Satisfaction that the Objects of the War have b^en obtained: is
glad the neutral powers have joined in the Peace : rejoices that we have plenty of men
and tin left: and hopes the Peace will be durable.
" Palace of Westminster, May 5th, 1856.''
In the Lords, on the above date, Lord Ellesmere, in an elegant
speech with two quotations, one Latin, one English, moved the adop-
tion of this Address; and Lord Glenelg, in an eloquent speech, with-
out any quotations, seconded the motion. Lord Malmesbury replied,
and though Lord Punch's admiration for his brother peer is not
uniform, he begs to say that upon this occasion Malmesbury spoke
out sensibly and manfully. He ridiculed the writing of the Address,
which put Satisfaction after Joy, instead of merging the weaker feeling
in the stronger; he urged that No Guarantees had been taken from a
Power which past expedience had not taught us to trust; he commented
upon our accepting Kars, which we ought never to have lost, in
exchange for Sebastopol, Balaklava, Kamiesch, Eupatoria, Kertch,
Yenikale, Kinburn, and all the other places we had conquered ; he alleged
that we bad left Russia free to build even a stronger Sebastopol upon
the North side ; he was furious that we had deserted the Circassians ;
and he directly imputed the fall of Kars to the conduct of our Govern-
ment. Lord Clarendon answered but lamely, for there was no
answer—Government had blown up Lord Stratford, France was quite
as much in fault as we were, the Circassians had not helped us much
in the War, and Count Orloff had promised that Russia would be-
have most honourably. Lord Derby, of course, as a practised debater,
pounced mercilessly upon so feeble a reply, and made indignant protest
against that part of the Treaty which gives up the Maritime Supremacy

Tuesday. The Chancellor moved the second reading of a Bill for
Amending the County Courts, by knocking off half the fees now levied
, on Suitors—nearly £300,000—and paying for Judges and Courts out of
eager party politicians, to the Consolidated Fund. This is contrary to the Manchester notion-
suggest its adoption in their | that " nobody should pay for what be does not use; " but is in con-
' ' formity with a higher principle—namely, that justice should be easily
attainable by every citizen. One real improvement projected is, that a
defendant who considers his case to be a little over the heads of such
juries as are got into a County Court box, may take it where it is more
likely to be comprehended. Lord St. Leonard's made a very long
speech to show that it was he, and not Lord Truro, who abolished
Masters in Chancery. If a Law-Lord had posted a letter, and wished
to teil the House so, he would say that "inasmuch as the Legislature
of the country had provided, whether wisely or not, it was not desirable
or decorous for him at that time to decide, that the transmission of
epistolary correspondence should be regulated by the Post-Master
General, and that official having deputed a respectable tradesman, a
baker by profession, to conduct a receiving-house at the corner of a
neighbouring street, known to their Lordships; he (the noble Lord)
had inserted the letter to which leference had been made, through the
orifice which the tradesman in question had caused to be cut in his
shutter, and by which means, he (the noble Lord) had no reason to
doubt, the document would be conveyed to the box or basket in whicl'
letters were contained until the time specified for their removal to the
central establishment."
A Gravesend Improvement Bill passed the Commons. We have not
had an opportunity of reading \\ but we believe that it is intended to
restrain the unlawful practices of parties who vend flabby and rococo
shrimps, and declare that they " was biled that mornin," but this inter-
ference with two-thirds of the commerce of Gravesend must be jealously
looked into in the Lords. Sir George Grey did not know, he said,
when the Dulwich College Reform Bill would be introduced.
Wednesday. A Bill for dealing with the Tithe grievance was sent to
a select committee, and the Bill lor Flogging Husbands who ili-treat
their wives was rejected, 97 voting for it, and 135 against it. The
experiment might as well be tried upon the brutes for whom alone it

of England, prescribing that neutral ships shall make neutral goods; j w*s intended, but Mr. Muntz quoted Mr. Punch s exact words on a
waiving, in other words, the "right of search," which England has so i former occasion, and said that "the best remedy for wife-beating wa3
long held against the whole world. Lord Granville could only say J a cheap divorce law." We are glad that he studies sound politics at
the fountain-head.

that everything was for the best; and Lord Aberdeen crawled out

like an old slug, now that the war-storm is over, and expressed general Thursday. The thanks of both Houses of Parliament were given to
approbation of the Treaty, but wanted to know what we were to ao if \ our Soldiers, Saiiors, Marines, Militia, and Foreign Legion, for their
Turkey built war-ships in the Sea of Marmora, and attacked Russia. \ conduct during the War. Lord Panmure in the Lords, and Lord
Aberdeen's preposterous love for Russia is so intense, that we could ' Palmerston in the Commons, moved the vote, which in each House
really forgive it, had it not cost us thousands of lives. Lord Cowley— j was seconded by the leaders of Opposition. All that was proper to be
the hospitable man from Paris, the " Veritable Amphytrion" with whom said was said, but not one of the speeches was great, the merits of the
"on ne dine pas;" the man "with the good old porter to insult the theme being too substantial for mere orators. What Waller said,
English at his gate"— let out, if not the cat, her leg and her tail. "Had falsely, of the poet, may be said, truly, of the debater—"he succeeds
we been independent, we should have been in a better condition, but better with fiction than with truth." Certain figures, given on official
we were in alliance with France." Earl Grey, who has a patent for authority, tell the whole sfory of the two years' War with a grim suc-
going disagreeably wrong, approved the surrender of our sea-supremacy, cinctness. We have lost 22,467 men, of whom but 3532 died in battle,
and so did Lord Campbell, who also thought England ought to be or from wounds. The Russians are understood to have lost 500,000
like a judge, and have no Private-Ears. Then the sincerity of the men, of whom 90,000 lie buried around Sebastopol Be the more
Opposition was tested—the Joy and Satisfaction Address being carried cheerful fact added, that whereas we sent out, first, an army of 10,000
unanimously. j men, it is now one of 100,000 men, in perfect health, discipline, and
In the Commons, the same business went on, to the same result, but' spirits, and that we began the War with 212 ships, and that we have
two nights instead of one were occupied. Mr. Evelyn Denison, a ! now 590

moderate reformer," moved the Address, and Mr. Henry Herbert,
who dwells on the banks of Killarney, (and thinks of the comfort of the
stranger—Mr. Punch, grateful, hangs up this votive tablet to his
unknown friend, the Lord op Muckross) seconded it. About twenty
speeches were delivered, but there was not much worth note, except
Mr. Robert Phillimore's manly speech against England's sacrifice
of her maritime rights. The Manchester men and the Peebles
approved this sacrifice, as might be expected, but Mr. Gladstone,
spoke up creditably against any interference with the liberty
of the Belgian Press, and, throughout the debate, there were mani-

The Queen creates the Hero of Kars a Baronet, by the title of Sir
William Fen wick. Williams, of Kars, and grants him a pension of
£1000 a-year for his life. Mr. Punch takes off his hat, and hoorays at
the very top of his Achillean lungs.
The ablest Governor-General the East India Company have had for
years returns home, and the Company grant him a pension of £5000
a-year. .Lord Albemarle made some caustic remarks on the subject,
and hinted at the cleverness of the Compauy in so applying a portion
uf their torture-raised funds to secure the services of a "salaried advo-
cate," when they are put upon trial in the Lords. All the defence was