Punch (30.1856)

February 2, 1856.1 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 41


VERY INTERESTING, IF ONE DID BUT KNOW A LITTLE MORE.
" And so Missus says, Mary, she says, tell me all about it, she says—and so 1 says, vie, Mann ?
1 says—and -with that, that's how it was, yer see."—" Lor ! "

A MAD WAG'S ADVERTISEMENT.
We beg leave to call the attention of Pro-
fessor Owen to the very contradictory animal
referred to in an extraordinary advertisement,
relating to a Bath chair, which we are told "may
be drawn by either a man or pony, painted
maroon, lined with drab cloth and holland
covers." We can understand the possibility of
painting either a man or a pony "maroon,"
though we should question the good taste or
the utility of applying such a mode of external
decoration to either animal; but that, either of
them should be "lined with drab cloth and bol-
land covers " is a phenomenon we at once pro-
nounce incredible. It is true that a man's
stomach has a coat, and so we presume has a
pony's, which_ may account in some degree for
the very whimsical notion of a man or pony
"lined with cloth;" and we have a faint glim-
mering of an idea suggestive of "holland covers :'
arising out of the tendency of an inveterate gir. -
drinker to cover his inside with Hollands.
Nevertheless, the advertisement is so odd, that
if the advertiser were to take it into his head
to poison half his relations, make away with
himself, or steal a pound of pork sausages, we
dare say that no intelligent British jury would
find any difficulty in pronouncing him " Not
Guilty," on the ground of insanity.

A Joke on Horseback.
We are rather surprised to hear that (he
Police, about which Mr. Jonathan Peel lias
been writing letters in the Times, is not a,
mounted force, though it is called the Police of
the West Riding.

A MAID OF HONOUR ON SLAVERY.
The Hon. Miss Murray has sent forth a book—the fruit, or rather
the leaves, of her experience in America—called Letters from the United
States. The acute lady has discovered a social beauty in the use of
slavery. In one part of her book, she gives a painstaking account—
(she paints the negro with as much fervour and devotion as any fair
Belgravian, given to the art, could paint a church window for St. Fur-
below)—of a manumitted slave, who blesses the day that he was caught
in an Africau slave-hunt and brought to America, because there he had
been made a Christian, and thence might return to Guinea a missionary.
What a shame and a folly that we should have put down the slave-
trade, when we merely might have imported, not slaves, but missionaries
in the rough, to be duly polished by the cow-hide into the future pastor
and master of his benighted brother. Imagine the blessed change—an
eloquent missionary for a Guinea slave! However, "we have thought
ourselves wiser than our forefathers in all points, because we have
advanced beyond them in others." Otherwise, the Hon. Miss Murray
might herself have property in an interesting little nigger, who, like
the black boy in silks and satins in Hogarth, might have borne the
silver tea-kettle of the Hon. Miss Murray.
The lady—and being a spinster, she is, of course, an excellent judge
of the blessings of liberty—ihe lady says of the negroes—"They are
devoted servants, and miserable free people." Like dogs, their best
qualities are only brought out when in relation to their masters. The
w;i!d^.og, like Miss Murray's free negro, is a miserable dog indeed;
but the dog, the human dog, carrying an owner's collar—the animal
changeable lor so many dollars—is a devoted creature. Upon this,
Miss Murray is most emphatic.
" This fact it is impossible to state' too often, or too decidedly. TJie Creator of men
formed them for labour under guidance, and there is probably a providential intention of
producing some good Christian men and women out of it in time. We have been blindly
endeavouring to counteract this intention."
It is instructive to know the intimacy that the Hon. Miss Murray
has with the intention of "the Creator of men." When He made men
black, He made them so that, out of this blackness, the partial bright-
ness of Christianity might shine "in time." The black man is a dark
lanthorn, out of which light may come!
We presume that the Hon. Miss Murray preserves her rights as an
English subject; otherwise, were she naturalised in the States, we
should propose thjtt certain grateful slave-dealers should make her a
present of two or three blacks, as living testimonials of her wisdom--

blacks, to be turned by the piety of the Hon. Miss Murray, into good
Christians, though still slaves, and the property of Christians. We
know of a Testament in which it is writ ten, " Love one another;" but i-i
the very original Testament used by the Hon. Miss Murray, the
behest must clearly run, " Buy one another."

Parliamentary Notes and Queries.
We wonder whether this Session Mr. John O'Connell will die
upon the floor of the House? Whether Mr. Disraeli will suck as
many oranges as usual? Whether Lord Bobert Grosvenor will
dare to bring forward his Sunday Beer measure again ? Whether Sik,
James Graham will cry at, his veracity being impugned? Whether
Mr. Brotherton will forget to jump on his legs at the favourite
hour, when it is well known that Members and "churchyards yawn,"
for the purpose of recommending the House to go to bed? And
whether the Right Hon. W. E. Gladstone will talk for rather less
than three hours, when he rises merely to offer "a few brief
observations ? "

Boarded and Done Tor.
There is a saying, that a fool may ask a question which a wise man
cannot answer. More often the case is reversed. Sometimes, how-
ever, a wise man may ask a question which a fool can answer. Por
instance, the late Sir Robert Peel asked, " What is a Pound?"
Any existing Alderman might r»-ply, "The thing we Cits are keeping
you in, at the end of Cheapside."

Extreme Intolerance of Light.
It is said that Kino Bomba has forbidden the application of Pho-
tography in his dominions. Opposed as Bomba is to the operation oi
intellectual light, it is hardly conceivable that he should be such a ba',
such an owl, such an altogether nocturnal creature, such an adorer or
absolute darkness, as to interfere with the agency of the actual rays of
the Sun.

anomaly of the money market.
In consequence of the Peace rumours, money is said to have been
easier of late in the City. It is strange that, the more easy money
! becomes the greater abundance there is of hard cash,