DOI issue:
February 2, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0058
50
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 2, 1S5G.
TRULY DELIGHTFUL!
Galloping down the Side op a Field covered with Mole-dills, on a Weak-necked Horse, with a Snapple Bridle, one
Foot out of tour Stirrup, and a bit op Mud in your Eye !
MRS. DUKDEN'S VIEW OF PEACE.
They say we're to have Peace: I hope it isn't mere imagination ;
For candles, brushes, string, and soap, has risen up to ruination :
And what we've had to pay for hread ! of War that gives one some idea,
Not to say nothing of the dead and wounded in that there Crimea.
Then there's that plaguy Income-Tax,+hat rides, as I may say, a-straddle,
And sticks upon our breaking backs just like a monkey in a saddle;
Which, if the War goes longer on, in course expenses will redouble,
And what we must depend upon i3 dearer things and further trouble.
But there ; if I've a thing to do, my maxim always is to do it;
If I've a job for to go through, I makes my mind up to go through it.
5Tis all the same, I don't care what—washing, or ironing, or scrubbing,
And if so be as we have got to give them llooshans there a drubbing.
I never leaves my work half done—a stocking or agowndhalf mended ;
What has to be agin begun is twice the time afore 'tis ended;
And what I finds with needlework is found,I'm certain sure, with nations;
So don't be led away to quirk and quiddle with negotiations.
Up with your broom or rolling-pin, and put a stop to all discussions ;
Don't let yourselves be wheedled in to shilly-shally by the Prussians,
Nor Austrians neither; mighty fine to offer now their interference !
Why didn't they—ah, drat 'em!—jine our side upon the first appearance ?
Oh ! I am up to all their tricks—to wait and see which was the stronger,
I say, confound their politics! I'd make 'em wair. a little longer;
Deceit if any dares practise upon me I grows quite rampagious,
And that I hope you'll do likewise unless their terms is adwantageous.
Don't let the nick of time go by whilst you 're a bumming and a hawing,
And higgle haggle, all my eye ! nor lose a precious hour in jawing;
Don't let such rogues as them amuse, and coax, and cozen you with
writin',
Baekards and forards, whilst you lose whatever you have won by fightin'.
But if so be their terms is pure and simple, then the chance I'd seize on,
I'm quite agreeable, I'm sure, to anything in rhyme and reason;
I wouldn't wish at all to fight, if we can help it, one more battle,
No more than Cobden or John Bright, or any of that sort of cattle.
Than me there's neither of the pair can wish less harm to anybody,
Although I own I can't abear your nasty divil's dust and shoddy.
Glad should I be of Peace restored, if'twas on safe and sound conditions;
Poor me can very ill afford to pay for these here expeditions.
But there it says, what must be must, and that is what there's no
denying,
Which in the same I puts my trust, the Pope and all his works defying;
And though it seems, to throw away our preparations like, distressin',
Yet still for Peace I hope and pray, for arter all it is a blessin'.
" The City Purse."
The Times, dealing with proposed oaths for Income-Tax payers,
—says " When there is a talk of oaths, it must be remembered that we
have to deal with the elasticity of the commercial conscience in its
most elastic direction." Tins sort of conscience is admirably illus-
trated in a novelty, called "The City Purse." It matters not how
much money you have in it, or how the money has been obtained;
for there is an elastic band, (or conscience) a loop of india-rubber,
that keeps the money ail tight;, and—worn in your breast-pocket—
where all money should be, " nearest your heart."
Scandal upon Louis Napoleon.
There runs a story, Russian of course, that when Louis Napolecn,
seated with the War Council, first learned the news of Russia's
acceptance of peace, he was so affected that he swooned ! It is a com-
mon figure of speech to knock a man down with a feather; but here is
an Emperor of iron floored by a canard, a duck ; and that, too, a
Russian duck. The Emperor, it may be certain, had no fit; at the
very most, it was only a feint.
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 2, 1S5G.
TRULY DELIGHTFUL!
Galloping down the Side op a Field covered with Mole-dills, on a Weak-necked Horse, with a Snapple Bridle, one
Foot out of tour Stirrup, and a bit op Mud in your Eye !
MRS. DUKDEN'S VIEW OF PEACE.
They say we're to have Peace: I hope it isn't mere imagination ;
For candles, brushes, string, and soap, has risen up to ruination :
And what we've had to pay for hread ! of War that gives one some idea,
Not to say nothing of the dead and wounded in that there Crimea.
Then there's that plaguy Income-Tax,+hat rides, as I may say, a-straddle,
And sticks upon our breaking backs just like a monkey in a saddle;
Which, if the War goes longer on, in course expenses will redouble,
And what we must depend upon i3 dearer things and further trouble.
But there ; if I've a thing to do, my maxim always is to do it;
If I've a job for to go through, I makes my mind up to go through it.
5Tis all the same, I don't care what—washing, or ironing, or scrubbing,
And if so be as we have got to give them llooshans there a drubbing.
I never leaves my work half done—a stocking or agowndhalf mended ;
What has to be agin begun is twice the time afore 'tis ended;
And what I finds with needlework is found,I'm certain sure, with nations;
So don't be led away to quirk and quiddle with negotiations.
Up with your broom or rolling-pin, and put a stop to all discussions ;
Don't let yourselves be wheedled in to shilly-shally by the Prussians,
Nor Austrians neither; mighty fine to offer now their interference !
Why didn't they—ah, drat 'em!—jine our side upon the first appearance ?
Oh ! I am up to all their tricks—to wait and see which was the stronger,
I say, confound their politics! I'd make 'em wair. a little longer;
Deceit if any dares practise upon me I grows quite rampagious,
And that I hope you'll do likewise unless their terms is adwantageous.
Don't let the nick of time go by whilst you 're a bumming and a hawing,
And higgle haggle, all my eye ! nor lose a precious hour in jawing;
Don't let such rogues as them amuse, and coax, and cozen you with
writin',
Baekards and forards, whilst you lose whatever you have won by fightin'.
But if so be their terms is pure and simple, then the chance I'd seize on,
I'm quite agreeable, I'm sure, to anything in rhyme and reason;
I wouldn't wish at all to fight, if we can help it, one more battle,
No more than Cobden or John Bright, or any of that sort of cattle.
Than me there's neither of the pair can wish less harm to anybody,
Although I own I can't abear your nasty divil's dust and shoddy.
Glad should I be of Peace restored, if'twas on safe and sound conditions;
Poor me can very ill afford to pay for these here expeditions.
But there it says, what must be must, and that is what there's no
denying,
Which in the same I puts my trust, the Pope and all his works defying;
And though it seems, to throw away our preparations like, distressin',
Yet still for Peace I hope and pray, for arter all it is a blessin'.
" The City Purse."
The Times, dealing with proposed oaths for Income-Tax payers,
—says " When there is a talk of oaths, it must be remembered that we
have to deal with the elasticity of the commercial conscience in its
most elastic direction." Tins sort of conscience is admirably illus-
trated in a novelty, called "The City Purse." It matters not how
much money you have in it, or how the money has been obtained;
for there is an elastic band, (or conscience) a loop of india-rubber,
that keeps the money ail tight;, and—worn in your breast-pocket—
where all money should be, " nearest your heart."
Scandal upon Louis Napoleon.
There runs a story, Russian of course, that when Louis Napolecn,
seated with the War Council, first learned the news of Russia's
acceptance of peace, he was so affected that he swooned ! It is a com-
mon figure of speech to knock a man down with a feather; but here is
an Emperor of iron floored by a canard, a duck ; and that, too, a
Russian duck. The Emperor, it may be certain, had no fit; at the
very most, it was only a feint.