DOI Heft:
March 8, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0101
March 8, 1856.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
93
TODGERS'S TABLE-TALK.
ODE TO ST. PANGEAS.
ld Todgers, if not one of the j 0 Saint ! whose nondescript abode
most remarkable men of a re-1 Adorns that dreary northern road,
markable age, at least lived to Of London, called the New;
an age that was remarkable.! Whose tutelary care and name
He filled a great space in the The neighbouring parish dares to claim,
public eye, for his size was ! Unchecked by scruple or by shame,
encmous, and if he, like the ! With liberty undue,
rest of us, had his weaker side, on
so great was his bulk that it saint Pancbas, sure thou canst not know
was sometimes difficult to get i Mow in thy district, matters go,
to the weak side of him. If _ Or thou wouldst be irate ;
his waist was much beyond the j *h7 nnder-guardians I regret
ordinary span, his years were in kxceeaingly to say, have let
proportion; for he was bom ; their and thy parish-workhouse get
before the mention of tail coats, i into a shameful state.
in the days of the Spencers and
before the clothes of the first
quarter of the present century.
There, steep'd in dirt, thy paupers lie,
Not quite like pigs—for, in a sty
There still is room and air :
The little air they have, alas !
Foul with carbonic acid gas
e had talked with the wearer But narrow wardg thoge cocfi
of the first surtout, lie had ]n holps and cornerg the/recline
watched with interest the earl,- Together closer cramm'd than swine :
est productions of Macintosh ; pi would be stifled ,h
he could recollect Teit and
SHEGOGat Covent Garden; here- j Then pigs with straw are mostly bles*,
membered there being " enough j But some of these on bare forms rest,
water in the bay" at the: Some on the naked floor.
Adelphi "to take those out : Thus do the swine of guardians sleep?
ia safety who entered in: Their hogs do any of them keep,
confidence ; " he had received j That they may grow their bacon cheap,
a bow from Simpson in Vauxhall Gardens, when Baron Nathan was a bey ; he had seen St. Pancras, as thy poor?
ballets supported by Mbs. Seakle and her pupils at Sadler's Wells, and he had played at j
cribbage with Widdicombe. He had listened to the performance of Billy Waters on the Yet there a;e beds, too, of a kiDd,
violin; and had heard the first concert of the first batch of little Jew boys, who, under the title : And children crowded you will fiud,
of Bohemian Brothers, led the way to the introduction of the Swiss, Italian, and other foreign _ Their scanty sheets within :
fraternities, which have since tumbled and twisted themselves on tubs and tight-ropes into A living mass—yet also rife
transient popularity. He was present when orator Henry Hunt drove across the ice on the , With something else than human life,
Serpentine in his blacking van, and he had seen the same patriot pirouetting in an open And finger-nails at constant strife
hackney-coach, twirling his white hat on the top of his stick, amid the cheers of a crowd of; With raging tetter'd skin
boy3 and pickpockets.
One who had lived in such times, and amid such scenes, whose toes had been trodden
on by the horse of a life-guardsman in the crowd at the coronation of Geoege the :
Fourth, and whose fingers liad been rapped from the park railings by a policeman at the! whl eV6V°i f V, h
Coronation of Qtjein Victoria, must have seen much and felt, something during a career of j With gas which surges from beneath,
long Continuance. If Todgers was neither witty nor wise, he was always smart, and some- j v\ nere things unutterable seethe,
times sensible, so that his Table-talk was quite as well worth preserving as much that mankind \ ^as \ ,m?re (T0rriD f ?° b^aUie'
has agreed to preserve—we allude to onions, shrimps, and cabbages. If there were more j Ana stronger yet to kill.
Boswells in the world, are we sure that more Johnsons might not be found? for, if one | That paupers thu3 in tteir own reek
man is always talking and another man is always at his elbow with a note-book, it is hard i pki jf unpleasant truth j speak
indeed n an amusing volume cannot be got up between them. Todgers bad the good or bad j Swelterin°- cheek by jowl
fortune to be surrounded by eavesdroppers, who conscientiously picked up and put at once gT Pancras waslt in tby ken ?
upon paper everything that fell from his mouth ; a task that could not be performed with much i Wert thou aware thy parish men
^it^" -ii i i .it, i p ■ ■ c Had with thy name combined a den
We will, however, proceed at once to Jay belore our readers some ot our reminiscences oi
the " Table-Talk of Todgers."
"I was always," said Todgers, "kind to animals ; and I recollect being much hurt by a
flea that hopped away from me and avoided me. Once it hopped towards me, but when 1
was about to lay on it the hand of friendship, it gave a skip in a contrary direction. I lost
Bight of it, and we never met again."
"Shears, of Covent Garden, was not a good singer, and usually performed very trifling j p/e]i Typhus that it shall not spread,
characters, such as the first rustic in Rosina, and Tom's messmate in the Waterman. On j And let not Cholera be bred
one occasion, Shears had a share of a benefit—a ticket night, I think it was called—and I Out of thy " Workhouse Test."
went to hear him sing Meet me by Moonlight, which he was advertised to do in a sort of mis- ]__
cellaneons concert, between the play and the after-piece. When he came on in a blue dress
coat and white trousers he was a good deal applauded, and when he commenced singing he a Drawn Set.
was listened to rather attentively for the first bar or two, when his voice made a quack, . .....
and a few people began to laugh. He, however, went on till another quack came on a high F. P. and B. 0. were chatting familiarly over
note, when nearly the whole house laughed; but Shears continued till he got to a bit of1 their little bit ot luncheon at the Admiralty.
falsetto, when the orchestra laughed too; and at last, coming to a roulade, Shears himself burst i " I '11 wager you anything, exclaimed the
out, laughing, and ran off amid universal merriment." : enthusiastic Frederick, that there is Peace
" I recollect a Coburg tragedian who always fell down on the stage when he was drunk, ' in less than two months. ;Come now, if there is
and never could act when he was sober. When he was once down he could never get up, and not, I'll forfeit my head. — Excuse me, my
I have heard him go through a whole scene on his back, and he has in that position apologised dear fellow^ drily interposed the calculating
to the Doge of Venice for having married Besdemona." Bernal, if I decline your wager; for I cannot
"Cartlitch had the loudest voice of any living actor. He used to play in apiece at for the life ot me see what yo» will lose, much
Astley's, where he had to call for vengeance in the second act, and he always called for a less what 1 am to gam by it.
pot ot porter afterwards. I have sometimes heard him in the summer time, when the theatre
windows were open, on the other side of the bridge. I do not say 1hat I caught the exact
word vengeance, or beer, but I knew it was Cartlitch, calling for either one or the other."
Worse than Calcutta's hole ?
If Saints between effect and cause
Can step, arresting Nature's laws,
Oh ! stay the deadly pest;
(For it already counts its dead):
Asses in Law.—In the case of a stolen donkey
at Bow Street, a solicitor confidently urged, in
favour of the accused thief, that "a donkey was
not a chattel." Hardly fair this; considering
Complimentary.—Lord Wensleydale has a small lake on his estate, which, out of compli- the value of asses in general to lawyers in par-
merit to the treatment he has received in the House of Lords, he has christened: "Peerless Pool." , ticular.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
93
TODGERS'S TABLE-TALK.
ODE TO ST. PANGEAS.
ld Todgers, if not one of the j 0 Saint ! whose nondescript abode
most remarkable men of a re-1 Adorns that dreary northern road,
markable age, at least lived to Of London, called the New;
an age that was remarkable.! Whose tutelary care and name
He filled a great space in the The neighbouring parish dares to claim,
public eye, for his size was ! Unchecked by scruple or by shame,
encmous, and if he, like the ! With liberty undue,
rest of us, had his weaker side, on
so great was his bulk that it saint Pancbas, sure thou canst not know
was sometimes difficult to get i Mow in thy district, matters go,
to the weak side of him. If _ Or thou wouldst be irate ;
his waist was much beyond the j *h7 nnder-guardians I regret
ordinary span, his years were in kxceeaingly to say, have let
proportion; for he was bom ; their and thy parish-workhouse get
before the mention of tail coats, i into a shameful state.
in the days of the Spencers and
before the clothes of the first
quarter of the present century.
There, steep'd in dirt, thy paupers lie,
Not quite like pigs—for, in a sty
There still is room and air :
The little air they have, alas !
Foul with carbonic acid gas
e had talked with the wearer But narrow wardg thoge cocfi
of the first surtout, lie had ]n holps and cornerg the/recline
watched with interest the earl,- Together closer cramm'd than swine :
est productions of Macintosh ; pi would be stifled ,h
he could recollect Teit and
SHEGOGat Covent Garden; here- j Then pigs with straw are mostly bles*,
membered there being " enough j But some of these on bare forms rest,
water in the bay" at the: Some on the naked floor.
Adelphi "to take those out : Thus do the swine of guardians sleep?
ia safety who entered in: Their hogs do any of them keep,
confidence ; " he had received j That they may grow their bacon cheap,
a bow from Simpson in Vauxhall Gardens, when Baron Nathan was a bey ; he had seen St. Pancras, as thy poor?
ballets supported by Mbs. Seakle and her pupils at Sadler's Wells, and he had played at j
cribbage with Widdicombe. He had listened to the performance of Billy Waters on the Yet there a;e beds, too, of a kiDd,
violin; and had heard the first concert of the first batch of little Jew boys, who, under the title : And children crowded you will fiud,
of Bohemian Brothers, led the way to the introduction of the Swiss, Italian, and other foreign _ Their scanty sheets within :
fraternities, which have since tumbled and twisted themselves on tubs and tight-ropes into A living mass—yet also rife
transient popularity. He was present when orator Henry Hunt drove across the ice on the , With something else than human life,
Serpentine in his blacking van, and he had seen the same patriot pirouetting in an open And finger-nails at constant strife
hackney-coach, twirling his white hat on the top of his stick, amid the cheers of a crowd of; With raging tetter'd skin
boy3 and pickpockets.
One who had lived in such times, and amid such scenes, whose toes had been trodden
on by the horse of a life-guardsman in the crowd at the coronation of Geoege the :
Fourth, and whose fingers liad been rapped from the park railings by a policeman at the! whl eV6V°i f V, h
Coronation of Qtjein Victoria, must have seen much and felt, something during a career of j With gas which surges from beneath,
long Continuance. If Todgers was neither witty nor wise, he was always smart, and some- j v\ nere things unutterable seethe,
times sensible, so that his Table-talk was quite as well worth preserving as much that mankind \ ^as \ ,m?re (T0rriD f ?° b^aUie'
has agreed to preserve—we allude to onions, shrimps, and cabbages. If there were more j Ana stronger yet to kill.
Boswells in the world, are we sure that more Johnsons might not be found? for, if one | That paupers thu3 in tteir own reek
man is always talking and another man is always at his elbow with a note-book, it is hard i pki jf unpleasant truth j speak
indeed n an amusing volume cannot be got up between them. Todgers bad the good or bad j Swelterin°- cheek by jowl
fortune to be surrounded by eavesdroppers, who conscientiously picked up and put at once gT Pancras waslt in tby ken ?
upon paper everything that fell from his mouth ; a task that could not be performed with much i Wert thou aware thy parish men
^it^" -ii i i .it, i p ■ ■ c Had with thy name combined a den
We will, however, proceed at once to Jay belore our readers some ot our reminiscences oi
the " Table-Talk of Todgers."
"I was always," said Todgers, "kind to animals ; and I recollect being much hurt by a
flea that hopped away from me and avoided me. Once it hopped towards me, but when 1
was about to lay on it the hand of friendship, it gave a skip in a contrary direction. I lost
Bight of it, and we never met again."
"Shears, of Covent Garden, was not a good singer, and usually performed very trifling j p/e]i Typhus that it shall not spread,
characters, such as the first rustic in Rosina, and Tom's messmate in the Waterman. On j And let not Cholera be bred
one occasion, Shears had a share of a benefit—a ticket night, I think it was called—and I Out of thy " Workhouse Test."
went to hear him sing Meet me by Moonlight, which he was advertised to do in a sort of mis- ]__
cellaneons concert, between the play and the after-piece. When he came on in a blue dress
coat and white trousers he was a good deal applauded, and when he commenced singing he a Drawn Set.
was listened to rather attentively for the first bar or two, when his voice made a quack, . .....
and a few people began to laugh. He, however, went on till another quack came on a high F. P. and B. 0. were chatting familiarly over
note, when nearly the whole house laughed; but Shears continued till he got to a bit of1 their little bit ot luncheon at the Admiralty.
falsetto, when the orchestra laughed too; and at last, coming to a roulade, Shears himself burst i " I '11 wager you anything, exclaimed the
out, laughing, and ran off amid universal merriment." : enthusiastic Frederick, that there is Peace
" I recollect a Coburg tragedian who always fell down on the stage when he was drunk, ' in less than two months. ;Come now, if there is
and never could act when he was sober. When he was once down he could never get up, and not, I'll forfeit my head. — Excuse me, my
I have heard him go through a whole scene on his back, and he has in that position apologised dear fellow^ drily interposed the calculating
to the Doge of Venice for having married Besdemona." Bernal, if I decline your wager; for I cannot
"Cartlitch had the loudest voice of any living actor. He used to play in apiece at for the life ot me see what yo» will lose, much
Astley's, where he had to call for vengeance in the second act, and he always called for a less what 1 am to gam by it.
pot ot porter afterwards. I have sometimes heard him in the summer time, when the theatre
windows were open, on the other side of the bridge. I do not say 1hat I caught the exact
word vengeance, or beer, but I knew it was Cartlitch, calling for either one or the other."
Worse than Calcutta's hole ?
If Saints between effect and cause
Can step, arresting Nature's laws,
Oh ! stay the deadly pest;
(For it already counts its dead):
Asses in Law.—In the case of a stolen donkey
at Bow Street, a solicitor confidently urged, in
favour of the accused thief, that "a donkey was
not a chattel." Hardly fair this; considering
Complimentary.—Lord Wensleydale has a small lake on his estate, which, out of compli- the value of asses in general to lawyers in par-
merit to the treatment he has received in the House of Lords, he has christened: "Peerless Pool." , ticular.