DOI Heft:
March 22, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0120
112
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 22, 1856.
morrial relation. Lord Shaftesbury having exposed the disgraceful
state of many of our prisons; LatjY Tbtjro having presented the
House with her late Lord's law books; and Lord Overstone having
vented a great capitalist's prejudices against a Limited Liability, which
might enrich email capitalists, the Loros took holiday until the first
day of April.
In the Commons, Lord Palmerston described the Redan operation
tz one which covered the British with glory, and materially conduced
to the French success on that day. The Persian question again came
upland it really does not seem clear whether we are at war with the
Shah or not, but the odds are that, if tot, we shall be. Army Esti-
mates were discussed, and Mr. Layard tried to get the "distinguished
service " pension, which has been granted to Sir Richard Bottom
A.ireys suspended, until the final verdict on Sir Bottom is obtained.
It was alleged, however, that the pension was not specially given him
for starving the Crimean army, but for other deeds, so the House voted
by 82 to 9 that Sir Bottom might have his money. The Local Dues
Committee was appointed, and Government was deseivedly taunted for
its cowardly conduct in regard_ to the Bill. The_ Solicitor-General
brought in a Bill for reforming the Ecclesiastical Courts, and the
Commons took holiday until the last day of March.
THINGS NOT GENERALLY KNOWN."
hat industrious writer, Mr.
Times has compiled a re-
rratkably pleasant and in-
structive little book ; a book
as full of information as a
pomegranate is full of seed :
nevertheless, we detect some
omis-ions, and supply them,
that Mr. T. may, in a future
edition, incorporate the fol-
lowing as " Things not Gene-
rally Known."
It is not generally known
that the names of Elliott,
Grey, and Wood, are in
England names of such fatal
import, that no man bearing
either of them was ever
known to have any success
in this world, whatever may
be hopefully expected from
him in the next.
Not generally known that,
even after the Crimean Com-
mission, the Earl of Car-
digan is about to appear
in paint at the Somerset
House Exhibition: subject',
his Lordship narrating how he led the Balaclava charge, and how he
galloped out of it, to the Prince of Wales and the rest of the Royal
children.
Not generally known that "to take care of Dowb" is, at the same
time, to take the best possible care of Simpson.
Not generally known—until very lately—tbat the best fire-conductor
is a bal masque.
Not generally known, according IoMr. MuNTZ," what is a pound; "
but that a sovereign is very cheerfully taktn in interpretation of the
riddle.
Not generally known, that on the expected visit of the Prince of
Prussia in May next, at Windsor, there will be got up, regardless of
expense (on our side at least,) Mr. Buckstone's celebrated faice of
Popping the Question.
Not generally known what Sir Charles Barry expects to receive
for the Houses of Parliament, Sir Chakles hirstlf having made up
his own mind to an unlimited amount.
Not generally known that, on the consummation of peace, the Earl
of Aberdeen, as Knight of the Thistle, resolves to repose himtelf
upon his own peculiar laurels.
Not generally known what may become of the Duke of York's bronze
statue, Waterloo Place; but privately and earnestly recommended that
it be sent to the melting-pot in liquidation of debts for the Duke's
creditors.
Not generally known when Lord John Bussell will be appointed
'WARE OE THE BULL.
In our home-field we've got an old Bull,
When his blood isn't up, and his belly is full,
His horns you may handle, his tail you may pull,
His sides with a stick you may thrash on :
You may bully and bait him for hour after hour,
Not a hoof will he lift, not a horn will he lower,—
You would think to see him he hadn't the power
So much as to get in a passion.
But if you had seen our old Bull last year,
When Crimean reports fired off in his ear,
Made him ramp, and bellow, and stamp, and tear,
You wouldn't have daied to come near him :
Old Gordon he gored ; bailiff Pam, so clever,
Got nearly toss'd, in the vain endeavour
To cajole the animal out of his fever,
And into the stable to steer him.
Little Roebuck, the cow-leech, sharp and 'cute,
Look'd over the hedge at the angry brute,
" There's but one thing to tame him," quoth he, " To lo't,
Don't try hood-winking or ringing—
Give the Bull his head : down with gates and spikes ;
Let him ioar as he pleases and run where he likes;
Never mind whom he charges, or how he strikes,
Or through whose fields he goes flinging."
No choice had Pam : gave the Bull his head,
And a mighty rumpus and row he made,
Assaulted old women, old soldiers dismay'd,
And Pam, Roebuck's hint developing;
Every here and there, in the turnips and clover,
Set up men of straw for the Bull to knock over,
Which he toss'd and tore, and bjgan to recover,
By demolishing scarecrows and galloping.
Till he grew again that Bull, on whose brows
The horns have no power in 'em, more than a cow's,
Who goes in the cart, and harrows and ploughs,
And lets any booby guide him—
Thus Roebuck's prescription wrork'd like a charm,
The Bull all the summer toil'd on the farm,
And neither ran rusty nor did any barm,
Though they never so much as tied him.
So Pam and Panmtjre and all of 'em said—
" What fods we were, to have e'er been afraid
0" a Brute whose wrath is so easily Lid,
And whose eyes there's no danger in blinding ;
The next report that goes off in his ear,
If he kick up his heels, as he did last year,
We '11 show how little his rage we fear,
By going on never minding."
A report in Bull's ear has gone off again,
The report that M'Neill and Tullock did pen,
(Two Scots, who respect neither manners nor men,
Whatever their rank or connection,)
And our Aireys and Gordons by Hardinge's good grace
Dare shake their red coats, and their stars, and gold lace.
Right in the Bull's round, ruminant face,
Who stands chewing the cud of reflection.
Have a care—there is something I fancy I spy—
A reddening spark in that cavernous eye,
A nerve in that neck, swelling more and more high,
A hcof-twitch, the Bull scarce can stifle.
Have a care—or in spite of your sneers and your scorn
Come one stroke of tbat hoof, or one plunge of that horn,
And 'twere better for you you had never been born,
Than have dared with that same Bull to trifle !
A Voluminous Expurgator,
England can boast of its Index ~Expurgatorius as well as Rome; and
this great Index is the Catalogue of the British M-seum ; for, ia its
_______ . x present incomplete state, it expunges all those books which do not
the national " schoolmaster ;" his Lordship, of late, having "been so ' commence with the two or three first letters of the Alphabet,
very much " abroad " in other duties.
Not generally known when Mr. Warren will quote The Lily and
the Bee in the House of Commons; but expected by the intimate
friends of the honourable gentleman, the earliest day in April; " a day
before or a day after."
lost its appetitb.
The Russian Bear began the War by attempting to seize on the
whole of Turkey—and now it is begging for a Peace!
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 22, 1856.
morrial relation. Lord Shaftesbury having exposed the disgraceful
state of many of our prisons; LatjY Tbtjro having presented the
House with her late Lord's law books; and Lord Overstone having
vented a great capitalist's prejudices against a Limited Liability, which
might enrich email capitalists, the Loros took holiday until the first
day of April.
In the Commons, Lord Palmerston described the Redan operation
tz one which covered the British with glory, and materially conduced
to the French success on that day. The Persian question again came
upland it really does not seem clear whether we are at war with the
Shah or not, but the odds are that, if tot, we shall be. Army Esti-
mates were discussed, and Mr. Layard tried to get the "distinguished
service " pension, which has been granted to Sir Richard Bottom
A.ireys suspended, until the final verdict on Sir Bottom is obtained.
It was alleged, however, that the pension was not specially given him
for starving the Crimean army, but for other deeds, so the House voted
by 82 to 9 that Sir Bottom might have his money. The Local Dues
Committee was appointed, and Government was deseivedly taunted for
its cowardly conduct in regard_ to the Bill. The_ Solicitor-General
brought in a Bill for reforming the Ecclesiastical Courts, and the
Commons took holiday until the last day of March.
THINGS NOT GENERALLY KNOWN."
hat industrious writer, Mr.
Times has compiled a re-
rratkably pleasant and in-
structive little book ; a book
as full of information as a
pomegranate is full of seed :
nevertheless, we detect some
omis-ions, and supply them,
that Mr. T. may, in a future
edition, incorporate the fol-
lowing as " Things not Gene-
rally Known."
It is not generally known
that the names of Elliott,
Grey, and Wood, are in
England names of such fatal
import, that no man bearing
either of them was ever
known to have any success
in this world, whatever may
be hopefully expected from
him in the next.
Not generally known that,
even after the Crimean Com-
mission, the Earl of Car-
digan is about to appear
in paint at the Somerset
House Exhibition: subject',
his Lordship narrating how he led the Balaclava charge, and how he
galloped out of it, to the Prince of Wales and the rest of the Royal
children.
Not generally known that "to take care of Dowb" is, at the same
time, to take the best possible care of Simpson.
Not generally known—until very lately—tbat the best fire-conductor
is a bal masque.
Not generally known, according IoMr. MuNTZ," what is a pound; "
but that a sovereign is very cheerfully taktn in interpretation of the
riddle.
Not generally known, that on the expected visit of the Prince of
Prussia in May next, at Windsor, there will be got up, regardless of
expense (on our side at least,) Mr. Buckstone's celebrated faice of
Popping the Question.
Not generally known what Sir Charles Barry expects to receive
for the Houses of Parliament, Sir Chakles hirstlf having made up
his own mind to an unlimited amount.
Not generally known that, on the consummation of peace, the Earl
of Aberdeen, as Knight of the Thistle, resolves to repose himtelf
upon his own peculiar laurels.
Not generally known what may become of the Duke of York's bronze
statue, Waterloo Place; but privately and earnestly recommended that
it be sent to the melting-pot in liquidation of debts for the Duke's
creditors.
Not generally known when Lord John Bussell will be appointed
'WARE OE THE BULL.
In our home-field we've got an old Bull,
When his blood isn't up, and his belly is full,
His horns you may handle, his tail you may pull,
His sides with a stick you may thrash on :
You may bully and bait him for hour after hour,
Not a hoof will he lift, not a horn will he lower,—
You would think to see him he hadn't the power
So much as to get in a passion.
But if you had seen our old Bull last year,
When Crimean reports fired off in his ear,
Made him ramp, and bellow, and stamp, and tear,
You wouldn't have daied to come near him :
Old Gordon he gored ; bailiff Pam, so clever,
Got nearly toss'd, in the vain endeavour
To cajole the animal out of his fever,
And into the stable to steer him.
Little Roebuck, the cow-leech, sharp and 'cute,
Look'd over the hedge at the angry brute,
" There's but one thing to tame him," quoth he, " To lo't,
Don't try hood-winking or ringing—
Give the Bull his head : down with gates and spikes ;
Let him ioar as he pleases and run where he likes;
Never mind whom he charges, or how he strikes,
Or through whose fields he goes flinging."
No choice had Pam : gave the Bull his head,
And a mighty rumpus and row he made,
Assaulted old women, old soldiers dismay'd,
And Pam, Roebuck's hint developing;
Every here and there, in the turnips and clover,
Set up men of straw for the Bull to knock over,
Which he toss'd and tore, and bjgan to recover,
By demolishing scarecrows and galloping.
Till he grew again that Bull, on whose brows
The horns have no power in 'em, more than a cow's,
Who goes in the cart, and harrows and ploughs,
And lets any booby guide him—
Thus Roebuck's prescription wrork'd like a charm,
The Bull all the summer toil'd on the farm,
And neither ran rusty nor did any barm,
Though they never so much as tied him.
So Pam and Panmtjre and all of 'em said—
" What fods we were, to have e'er been afraid
0" a Brute whose wrath is so easily Lid,
And whose eyes there's no danger in blinding ;
The next report that goes off in his ear,
If he kick up his heels, as he did last year,
We '11 show how little his rage we fear,
By going on never minding."
A report in Bull's ear has gone off again,
The report that M'Neill and Tullock did pen,
(Two Scots, who respect neither manners nor men,
Whatever their rank or connection,)
And our Aireys and Gordons by Hardinge's good grace
Dare shake their red coats, and their stars, and gold lace.
Right in the Bull's round, ruminant face,
Who stands chewing the cud of reflection.
Have a care—there is something I fancy I spy—
A reddening spark in that cavernous eye,
A nerve in that neck, swelling more and more high,
A hcof-twitch, the Bull scarce can stifle.
Have a care—or in spite of your sneers and your scorn
Come one stroke of tbat hoof, or one plunge of that horn,
And 'twere better for you you had never been born,
Than have dared with that same Bull to trifle !
A Voluminous Expurgator,
England can boast of its Index ~Expurgatorius as well as Rome; and
this great Index is the Catalogue of the British M-seum ; for, ia its
_______ . x present incomplete state, it expunges all those books which do not
the national " schoolmaster ;" his Lordship, of late, having "been so ' commence with the two or three first letters of the Alphabet,
very much " abroad " in other duties.
Not generally known when Mr. Warren will quote The Lily and
the Bee in the House of Commons; but expected by the intimate
friends of the honourable gentleman, the earliest day in April; " a day
before or a day after."
lost its appetitb.
The Russian Bear began the War by attempting to seize on the
whole of Turkey—and now it is begging for a Peace!