DOI Heft:
April 12, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0158
150
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 12, 1855.
DRILLING THE DRIVERS.
The New Omnibus Company is going to work in a way which
entitles it to the loudest applause. Disbanding the present exceedingly
Irregular Corps of Drivers, it has organised a Driving Contingent,
composed of veterans from the Crimea, who, from the decorations they
have earned, may be supposed well fitted to handle the Ribbons, and
who will, we hope, make their horses fly before them as fast as their
enemies did. Furthermore, Inspector and Adjutant Pierce, also
from the seat of war, has undertaken to drill the Omnibus Contingent,
and under his eye all their manoeuvres are already executed with a pre-
cision highly creditable.
Instead of the vulgar "Get on, Bill!" of the reviling conductor,
and bis not less irritating "Old 'ard, carn't yer! " the firm but mild
"Forward!" and the impressive but uninsulh'ng "Halt!" are sub-
stituted—and all " chaff" between him and the driver is forbidden, as
is sarcastic criticism upon the personal appearance or other pecu-
liarity of a passenger. For "Full inside ! " the intimation is " Loaded ! "
and for " All on 'em out!" the single word is "Discharged ! " All is
to be order, celerity, and courtesy, and it is gratifying to think that
by the introduction of what is military, we shall have at last attained
to what is civil.
SAYINGS OF ENGLISH SAGES.
Henry Drtjmmond, Esq., M.P.—The English, wherever they travel,
leave either a soda-water bottle, or a beer-bottle, or a physic-bottle
behind them.—My experience, since I have been a man, amounts
simply to this: I have learnt to take physic without sugar.—No ugly
woman knows that she is ugly, until some brute of a man tells her.—
Prejudices are the spiders of the mind, choosing generally the darkest
corners to spin their cobwebs in.—An Irishman is indifferent what
whiskey he drinks, s'i long as it is whiskey; or what nonsense he talks,
so long that he is talking!—What a suspicious monster the man must
have been, who first invented a lock; but what a trusting creature the
woman who first allowed a latch-key !—Leave your grievances, as
Napoleon did his letters, unopened for three weeks, and it is astonish-
ing how few of them by that time will require answering '.—France is a
country of excesses; everything is overdone. Both their government
and cuisine would be all the better for a few "plain cooks."—England
is a land of liberty, and yet nowhere are there such tyrants known and
tolerated as our cabmen, government clerks, undertakers, omnibus-con-
ductors, domestic servants, and monthly nurses!—Lucky the door-scraper
that has never tried the heavy soul of a Poor Relation!—It is doubtful
which of the two talks the most scandal about men: an Englishwoman
who is an old maid, or a German woman who has been divorced from
her husband—We go abroad for pleasure, but are glad to come
home again for comfort—Members ma]je speeches, not to convince, but
simply to let us see what a deal the speech-maker knows.—You mav
take Public Opinion to the Well of Truth, but you cannot make it
drink !
INOCULATION IN CABS.
Inoculation for smallpox is illegal; nevertheless a door is open for
the evasion of the statute in that case made and provided. According
to Dr. Letheby it is customary to convey variolous patients to the
Fever Hospital in hack cabs; and anybody who wants to be inoculated
may find a way through the cab-door. He should station himself near
the Hospital gate, mark down a cab there, see that the fare lifted out
of it has the smallpox, instantly step in, and get himself driven home.
Only let him make sure that the previous occupant of the seat was really
the subject of smallpox, and not of typhus or scarlatina, either of which
two last-named diseases any person affected with it would be as likely
to leave behind him in the vehicle as lie would the former one; and o!
course his successor would as probably get the benefit of it. Those who
desire to get themselves inoculated in this way had better make haste
in so doing, because it is to be apprehended that the legislature will
interfere, and provide for the removal of smallpox patients to public
hospitals by some other means of conveyance than a carriage which
somebody else may enter immediately afterwards, and contract the
disease involuntarily.
A Greater and a Greater Still!
The Worcester Chronicle tells a story of a very unseemly woman,
who, taking her children with her, ran away from her husband, and
embarked for America, to join the Mormons! The woman was, no
doubt, something of a fool; but what shall we say for the husband who,
following the fair one bound for the Salt Lake, brought her back again r
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 12, 1855.
DRILLING THE DRIVERS.
The New Omnibus Company is going to work in a way which
entitles it to the loudest applause. Disbanding the present exceedingly
Irregular Corps of Drivers, it has organised a Driving Contingent,
composed of veterans from the Crimea, who, from the decorations they
have earned, may be supposed well fitted to handle the Ribbons, and
who will, we hope, make their horses fly before them as fast as their
enemies did. Furthermore, Inspector and Adjutant Pierce, also
from the seat of war, has undertaken to drill the Omnibus Contingent,
and under his eye all their manoeuvres are already executed with a pre-
cision highly creditable.
Instead of the vulgar "Get on, Bill!" of the reviling conductor,
and bis not less irritating "Old 'ard, carn't yer! " the firm but mild
"Forward!" and the impressive but uninsulh'ng "Halt!" are sub-
stituted—and all " chaff" between him and the driver is forbidden, as
is sarcastic criticism upon the personal appearance or other pecu-
liarity of a passenger. For "Full inside ! " the intimation is " Loaded ! "
and for " All on 'em out!" the single word is "Discharged ! " All is
to be order, celerity, and courtesy, and it is gratifying to think that
by the introduction of what is military, we shall have at last attained
to what is civil.
SAYINGS OF ENGLISH SAGES.
Henry Drtjmmond, Esq., M.P.—The English, wherever they travel,
leave either a soda-water bottle, or a beer-bottle, or a physic-bottle
behind them.—My experience, since I have been a man, amounts
simply to this: I have learnt to take physic without sugar.—No ugly
woman knows that she is ugly, until some brute of a man tells her.—
Prejudices are the spiders of the mind, choosing generally the darkest
corners to spin their cobwebs in.—An Irishman is indifferent what
whiskey he drinks, s'i long as it is whiskey; or what nonsense he talks,
so long that he is talking!—What a suspicious monster the man must
have been, who first invented a lock; but what a trusting creature the
woman who first allowed a latch-key !—Leave your grievances, as
Napoleon did his letters, unopened for three weeks, and it is astonish-
ing how few of them by that time will require answering '.—France is a
country of excesses; everything is overdone. Both their government
and cuisine would be all the better for a few "plain cooks."—England
is a land of liberty, and yet nowhere are there such tyrants known and
tolerated as our cabmen, government clerks, undertakers, omnibus-con-
ductors, domestic servants, and monthly nurses!—Lucky the door-scraper
that has never tried the heavy soul of a Poor Relation!—It is doubtful
which of the two talks the most scandal about men: an Englishwoman
who is an old maid, or a German woman who has been divorced from
her husband—We go abroad for pleasure, but are glad to come
home again for comfort—Members ma]je speeches, not to convince, but
simply to let us see what a deal the speech-maker knows.—You mav
take Public Opinion to the Well of Truth, but you cannot make it
drink !
INOCULATION IN CABS.
Inoculation for smallpox is illegal; nevertheless a door is open for
the evasion of the statute in that case made and provided. According
to Dr. Letheby it is customary to convey variolous patients to the
Fever Hospital in hack cabs; and anybody who wants to be inoculated
may find a way through the cab-door. He should station himself near
the Hospital gate, mark down a cab there, see that the fare lifted out
of it has the smallpox, instantly step in, and get himself driven home.
Only let him make sure that the previous occupant of the seat was really
the subject of smallpox, and not of typhus or scarlatina, either of which
two last-named diseases any person affected with it would be as likely
to leave behind him in the vehicle as lie would the former one; and o!
course his successor would as probably get the benefit of it. Those who
desire to get themselves inoculated in this way had better make haste
in so doing, because it is to be apprehended that the legislature will
interfere, and provide for the removal of smallpox patients to public
hospitals by some other means of conveyance than a carriage which
somebody else may enter immediately afterwards, and contract the
disease involuntarily.
A Greater and a Greater Still!
The Worcester Chronicle tells a story of a very unseemly woman,
who, taking her children with her, ran away from her husband, and
embarked for America, to join the Mormons! The woman was, no
doubt, something of a fool; but what shall we say for the husband who,
following the fair one bound for the Salt Lake, brought her back again r