Punch (30.1856)

162

PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[April 26, 1856.

Maynootb go down, A French Maynooth, no friend to England's
Crown. The solemn Newd£.gate his sermon said, And Roebuck hit
tne right nail on the head. Wo man of sense would judge another's
creed, But keep your teachers of an English breed. To close the
combat strode into the field The jaunty Ajax of the sevenfold shield:
With some contempt he spoke of Spoonek'.s zeal, And much preferred
the course of Pitt and Peel. He felt no reverence for the Church of
Rome, But deemed our priesthoods should be taught at home. A
brief reply from Spoonek, and'tis done, Black can but find of followers
twenty-one; But on fierce Spooler's motion, the array Is much more
equal, and he wins the day. A hundred and a-half and nine he boasts ;
By twenty-six he beats the Papal hosts; Who twice again the conflict's
rage renew, And twice retire, their numbers still too few. Triumphant
Spooler's ordered to produce His bill for Cooking the Maynoothian
Goose. And goes home bawling that he's done the job, And punched
the Scarlet Lady's wicked Nob.
Nothing short of the epic style would do justice to »he terrible work
of Tuesday, and that justice having been done, Mr. Punch relapses into
his ordinary graceful prose, and proceeds to record that, on Ma.
Stafford's motion, a Select Committee was appointed to inquire into
the state of the medical department of the Army.
Wednesday. Another question of the Maynooth character came up.
Certain towns in Ireland are charged with a house-tax for the support
of Protestant Ministers, the impost being called Minister's Money.
The fight to-day was on a Bill for abolishing this tax, which now falls
chiefly upon the Catholics. The Government intimated that the law,
recently altered, must be tried before further modification, and the
Bill was rejected by a majority of 80.
Thursday. The Lords indulged in some reasonable alarms in reference
to a notable change in their Eire Brigade system. The experienced
firemen have been discharged, and the duty of putting the Lords out,
if they catch fire, has been confided to the police. Considering how
invariably a policeman is always to be found when wanted, and how
intelligently and systematically he discharges any task not of the
merest routine, the new arrangement is worthy of the wisdom of our
administrative authorities.
Lord Panmure said that though several of the Crimean regiments
were going to British North America, it was only to replace those
taken away from thence at the beginning of the War. This is an
unimpeachable reason, and yet we shall not wonder if the non-British
Amer ican press fiuds something to say about it.

A signal snub was inflicted upon a very pretentious clique in the
Commons. Sir Joshua Walmsley, member for Leicester, had taken
upon himself to reform the Constitution, and had prepared a Reform
Bill for that purpose, to the discussion of which the House of Commons
had been for several days rather dictatorially summoned, by sound of
Penny Trumpet, by Walmsley's admirers. There was to be a great
night, the Government was supposed to be in doubt and agitation as
to the course it would adopt, but was certainly to assent to tbe intro-
duction of the Bill, and Joshua was "in a position to force from all
parties a definite expression of opinion." The evening came, and so did
Sir Joshua, Mr. Apsley Pellatt, Mb. William Williams, and
some other illustrious statesmen of the same calibre—but where was
the House ? Actually, the Commons of England did not think it worth
while to form a House of forty members to see a picture of the Con-
stitution after Sir Joshua. The disgusted patriots were "counted
out." This circumstance goes for nothing against Reform, but is only
a hint to third-rate men not to raise important questions at improper
times.
Friday. The Lords discussed the Ticket-of-Leave system, and the
facts elicited seem to show that though that system is anything but
excellent, its working is more satisfactory than the alarmists would
have us believe. Out of from 5000 to 6000 convicts who have been
liberated with tickets, little more than 8 per cent, have again fallen into
the hands of the law.
In the Commons, Walmsley, to show that he was not quite extinct,
got up with a petition against Protecting Women from Ruffianism.
The Peace is, it seems, to be celebrated with tremendous displays of
fireworks in the Parks, as in 1814, but the Commons did not seem
much enchanted when Mr. Moxsell explained this. Perhaps their
heads were full of their Spithead holiday, for which the Lords, by the
way, are to take their Ladies, but the Commons are not to take
their Wives; though Admiral Walcot pleaded, with great mode-
ration, " that he only wanted to take one wife." Sir B. Hall
explained his intended Park improvements, which have, from diffi-
culties in his way, diminished to the making a foot-bridge over the
ornamental water, and an entrance across the site of the German
Chapel. Another exposure of the finance system of the East India
Company, by Sir E. Perry—an authority—showed that the Ma-
nagers of that enormous and magnificent region get into debt at
the rate of two millions a-year. " Supply" brought the week to a
close.


" Well now, mother alius said ' Fine feathers makes fine birds' Wouldn't
she been proud if she'd ha' lived to seen me like this ?"

The next Military Order.
With the termination of the War all hopes of Military Reform are at
an end. The little good even that has been done, we suppose, will be
undone, and every day we may expect to hear at the Horse Guards the
cry, echoing through all its aristocratic offices, of " As you were !"

A COUPLE OE INTERESTING COUPLES.
The foreign intelligence of the Times was enriched a few days ago by
the following singularly—or perhaps we should rather say dually—
important announcement which appeared among tbe marriages.
" On Friday, tlie 11th inst., at Zierow, in Mecklenburg-Schwerin, Baron^Detlev db
BUlow, eldest son of His Excellency the late Baron de Bulow, of GUdow, Hereditary
Earl Marshal of Lauenburg, to Mary, eldest daughter of Baron de Biel, of Zierow;
and, at the same time and place, Baron Albrecht de Maltzahn, eldest sou of Bakon
Charles de Maltzahn, of Vollrathsruh, in Mecklenburgh, to Caroline, second
daughter of Baron de Biel, of Zierow."
The British public ought to feel extremely grateful to the families of
Bulow and Biel, for having gone to the expense of advertising a piece
of news, which but for the liberal outlay of the Bulows and the Biels,
the aforesaid British public would never have been made acquainted
with. We really think the compliment ought to be returned to the
public of Mecklenburg-Schwerin by the insertion in the Gazette or
Zeitung of that diminutive duchy an advertisement somewhat like the
following, which seems to correspond in importance with the one we
have above quoted :—
" Married.—On the 1st of April, at the Hill of Notting, in the Bay 01 Bayswater,
Policeman Thomas Thomason, eldest son of his grand high fussiness the Beadle of
Kensington, Hereditary Successor to all the orders of his late father, the fishmonger,
to Maria Matilda Miff, eldest daughter of his nervousness, the High Street Keeper
of Pentonville ; and, at the same time and place, Arthur Horace, eldest son of Henby
de Hammersmith perpetual Turncock of Turnham Green, to Sarah Anh, second
daughter of High Street Keeper Miff, of Pentonville atoresaid."
We are quite satisfied that the foregoing intelligence will be received
at Mecklenburg-Schwerin with quite as much excitement as will be
occasioned in London by the intelligence of the unions that, have taken
place between the Biels and the Bulows of Giidow and Zierow.

Not at Home.
Thirty-six gentlemen being invited on the 17th inst. to an enter-
tainment at a certain House in Westminster found, in effect, the
following notice affixed to the door:—
" Reform—gone out—will not return this Session ! "
It is due to the thirty-six visitors to confess that they bore their
disappointment with the best good-humour. In fact, not one ot them
seemed to feel it.