DOI Heft:
May 24, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0218
210
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
rMAt 24, 1856.
ITHURTEL HASSALL.
Doctor Hassall, the man who has done his best to hunt
Death out of the Pot, has received a testimonial at the
bands of his friends and admirers : a testimonial that has
no little salt and savour in it, seeing how very felicitously
it, embodies the property and direction of Doctor Hassall's-
genius. The Testimonial is the happy design of the Rev.
G. M. Branne ; and represents Ithuriel, clad in armour,
with his spear touching the toad, in which reptile " sitting
squat," sits Satan, "close at the ear of Eve."
Him thus intent Ithubiel with his spear
Touch'd lightly "
We know, as Jones would say, the immediate conse-
quence of that touch—
As when a spark
Lights on a heap ot nitrous powder, laid
Fit for the tun some magazin to store,
Against a rumoured war. the smuttie grain
With sudden blaze diffus'd, inflames the ail
So started up in his own shape the fiend 1 "
And in this manner Ithtjriel Hassall has touched
the publican, detecting in his beer the grams of Paradise
not grown in Eden: m this fashion has he touched the
grocer in his tea, proving the commodity by no means gun-
powder ; and showing what seemed the smuttie grain of
coffee to be beans of horse. In this way has our Ithtjriel
shown poison in pastry, making Arabella, the comely
ycuug woman in cherry-coloured ribands who served the
tart, to seem no better than a plebeian Countess de Brin-
villiers. In this manner has the Doctor touched the
dark abomination into the light of day, a light that, we hope
he will long enjoy, with not a cloud to darken it.
When, following up the Doctor's work, any Member of
Parliament shall advocate and pass a law that makes adul-
teration not a cash-payable offence but a felony, then will
Punch subscribe to a testimonial to such a senator, unques-
tionably worth his weight in a silver treadmill.
THE GREAT EXETER HALL TRIUMPH.
First Publican. " It's all eight, Bill—they've bin an' stopped the Bands
playing in the Parks !"
Second Bo. " Well done our Side—we win—we should have shut up
Shop else. So 'ere's the Harchbishop's jolly good 'elth!"
The Sabbatarian's Progress.
Now that the Archbishop op Cant has begun Juda-
izing, where will he stop ? Will he iutroduce a Bill in the
House of Lords prohibiting rashers of bacon, and imposing
a penalty on the consumption of ham and pork, including
saiisane-s, and rendering it unlawful for anybody to eat
roast pig ?
A WINDOW TAX AGAIN !
The following rather odd suggestion was lately made by Major
Powys in a letter to the Times:—
" Sir,—a gentleman in a large way of business at the West End has promised to
give a donation of ten guineas to the ' Soldiers' Infant Home,' instead of illuminating
liia house on the 29th instant, on condition that his windows are left unmolested.
" Many other persons in London have also consented to give liberally to some Mili-
tary charity rather than throw away their money in illuminations. i beg to inform
all such kind and sensible persons, that if they thus intend to help the poor daughters
of the army, the office of the Soldiers' Daughters' Home is at No. 9, Waterloo Place,
Pall Mall, where, on application, they will be supplied, gratis, with large placards, to
be placed in their windows on the night of the Illuminations.
"These placards will effectually prevent all molestation, by stating the amount
promised for the soldiers' families, with the signature of the Chairman of the Home."
Let everybody who has sixpence to give away bestow the coin on the
Soldiers' Daughters' Home. Toat will be all very well—the good deed
will be repaid by the pleasure which ever attends a benevolent action—
the charity will perhaps cover a multitude of sins. The benefaction
may tend to the salvation of the benefactor's soul; but whaf, assurance
can Major Powys give, that the placard avouching it will save that
party's windows ?
The fellows who break the windows of those who do not illuminate
are merely the blackguards, who simply take advantage of the omission
as an excuse for doing other persons an injury. They are solely actu-
ated by love of mischief, unless, perhaps, they are also actuated by a
spirit of mob-tyranny, and an idea of asserting the prerogative of
rascaldom. _ Their vilLanous majesty may, indeed, vouchsafe to accept
ot a composition for the sacrifice in oil and tallow which he regards as
his due—but then, perhaps, he may not. In which case their victim
will be out of pocket, by charitable donation plus breakage, of windows.
To render the adoption of his proposal a little more practicable than
it seems at present, Major Powys should engage to pay for the
mending of all those windows which may be broken in spite of the
placards which he mentions. He should also get a notice issued from
the Home Office, warning all whom it might concern, that the police
were ordered to take up ail persons detected in breaking any of the
placarded windows. But this would involve the co-operation of the
Government; it would likewise intimate that the boys and the rabble
were at liberty to break any other windows not placarded or not illu-
minated. Now, Government might doubt the propriety, if not the
legality, of that intimation.
The respectable British Public has not shown much backwardness in
responding to any appeal to its patriotism on behalf of our brave army,
and perhaps Major Powys, oq second thought, may consider that its
liberality does not require to be further stimulated by an additiocal
apoeal to its fears for its plate-glass.
Can't we leave illuminations, and fireworks, and all such displays to
our Allies, and other Continental peoples, who understand them so
much better than we do ? Who will be the better to-morrow night for
the illumination of this ? Who derives sixpenn'orth of even temporary
pleasure from a demonstration which costs thousands of pounds ? To
all tradesmen, except oilmen and tallow-chandlers, an illumination is a
monstrous bore, especially to chemists; who, if they comprehend
chemistry, must look upon the thing as the simple conversion of so much
substance, the equivalent of so much money, into so much unprofitable
carbonic acid and useless watery vapour, attended with the evolution
of so much unnecessary light.
The New Sheriff—Bad News.
Mr, Mechi is chosen next Sheriff for the City of London. This is
bad news. Mr. Mechi has so world-wide a leputation for causing ten
ears to grow instead of one—ears, too, of such prodigious weight and.
alarming- length—that, in the matter of ears, even the Alderman, who
"puts down" all things, may meet more than his ma'ch.
Q. Why is the D'Oyley, at table, like a lady's bonnet?
A. Becauseit ought always to be put on before the Glass.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
rMAt 24, 1856.
ITHURTEL HASSALL.
Doctor Hassall, the man who has done his best to hunt
Death out of the Pot, has received a testimonial at the
bands of his friends and admirers : a testimonial that has
no little salt and savour in it, seeing how very felicitously
it, embodies the property and direction of Doctor Hassall's-
genius. The Testimonial is the happy design of the Rev.
G. M. Branne ; and represents Ithuriel, clad in armour,
with his spear touching the toad, in which reptile " sitting
squat," sits Satan, "close at the ear of Eve."
Him thus intent Ithubiel with his spear
Touch'd lightly "
We know, as Jones would say, the immediate conse-
quence of that touch—
As when a spark
Lights on a heap ot nitrous powder, laid
Fit for the tun some magazin to store,
Against a rumoured war. the smuttie grain
With sudden blaze diffus'd, inflames the ail
So started up in his own shape the fiend 1 "
And in this manner Ithtjriel Hassall has touched
the publican, detecting in his beer the grams of Paradise
not grown in Eden: m this fashion has he touched the
grocer in his tea, proving the commodity by no means gun-
powder ; and showing what seemed the smuttie grain of
coffee to be beans of horse. In this way has our Ithtjriel
shown poison in pastry, making Arabella, the comely
ycuug woman in cherry-coloured ribands who served the
tart, to seem no better than a plebeian Countess de Brin-
villiers. In this manner has the Doctor touched the
dark abomination into the light of day, a light that, we hope
he will long enjoy, with not a cloud to darken it.
When, following up the Doctor's work, any Member of
Parliament shall advocate and pass a law that makes adul-
teration not a cash-payable offence but a felony, then will
Punch subscribe to a testimonial to such a senator, unques-
tionably worth his weight in a silver treadmill.
THE GREAT EXETER HALL TRIUMPH.
First Publican. " It's all eight, Bill—they've bin an' stopped the Bands
playing in the Parks !"
Second Bo. " Well done our Side—we win—we should have shut up
Shop else. So 'ere's the Harchbishop's jolly good 'elth!"
The Sabbatarian's Progress.
Now that the Archbishop op Cant has begun Juda-
izing, where will he stop ? Will he iutroduce a Bill in the
House of Lords prohibiting rashers of bacon, and imposing
a penalty on the consumption of ham and pork, including
saiisane-s, and rendering it unlawful for anybody to eat
roast pig ?
A WINDOW TAX AGAIN !
The following rather odd suggestion was lately made by Major
Powys in a letter to the Times:—
" Sir,—a gentleman in a large way of business at the West End has promised to
give a donation of ten guineas to the ' Soldiers' Infant Home,' instead of illuminating
liia house on the 29th instant, on condition that his windows are left unmolested.
" Many other persons in London have also consented to give liberally to some Mili-
tary charity rather than throw away their money in illuminations. i beg to inform
all such kind and sensible persons, that if they thus intend to help the poor daughters
of the army, the office of the Soldiers' Daughters' Home is at No. 9, Waterloo Place,
Pall Mall, where, on application, they will be supplied, gratis, with large placards, to
be placed in their windows on the night of the Illuminations.
"These placards will effectually prevent all molestation, by stating the amount
promised for the soldiers' families, with the signature of the Chairman of the Home."
Let everybody who has sixpence to give away bestow the coin on the
Soldiers' Daughters' Home. Toat will be all very well—the good deed
will be repaid by the pleasure which ever attends a benevolent action—
the charity will perhaps cover a multitude of sins. The benefaction
may tend to the salvation of the benefactor's soul; but whaf, assurance
can Major Powys give, that the placard avouching it will save that
party's windows ?
The fellows who break the windows of those who do not illuminate
are merely the blackguards, who simply take advantage of the omission
as an excuse for doing other persons an injury. They are solely actu-
ated by love of mischief, unless, perhaps, they are also actuated by a
spirit of mob-tyranny, and an idea of asserting the prerogative of
rascaldom. _ Their vilLanous majesty may, indeed, vouchsafe to accept
ot a composition for the sacrifice in oil and tallow which he regards as
his due—but then, perhaps, he may not. In which case their victim
will be out of pocket, by charitable donation plus breakage, of windows.
To render the adoption of his proposal a little more practicable than
it seems at present, Major Powys should engage to pay for the
mending of all those windows which may be broken in spite of the
placards which he mentions. He should also get a notice issued from
the Home Office, warning all whom it might concern, that the police
were ordered to take up ail persons detected in breaking any of the
placarded windows. But this would involve the co-operation of the
Government; it would likewise intimate that the boys and the rabble
were at liberty to break any other windows not placarded or not illu-
minated. Now, Government might doubt the propriety, if not the
legality, of that intimation.
The respectable British Public has not shown much backwardness in
responding to any appeal to its patriotism on behalf of our brave army,
and perhaps Major Powys, oq second thought, may consider that its
liberality does not require to be further stimulated by an additiocal
apoeal to its fears for its plate-glass.
Can't we leave illuminations, and fireworks, and all such displays to
our Allies, and other Continental peoples, who understand them so
much better than we do ? Who will be the better to-morrow night for
the illumination of this ? Who derives sixpenn'orth of even temporary
pleasure from a demonstration which costs thousands of pounds ? To
all tradesmen, except oilmen and tallow-chandlers, an illumination is a
monstrous bore, especially to chemists; who, if they comprehend
chemistry, must look upon the thing as the simple conversion of so much
substance, the equivalent of so much money, into so much unprofitable
carbonic acid and useless watery vapour, attended with the evolution
of so much unnecessary light.
The New Sheriff—Bad News.
Mr, Mechi is chosen next Sheriff for the City of London. This is
bad news. Mr. Mechi has so world-wide a leputation for causing ten
ears to grow instead of one—ears, too, of such prodigious weight and.
alarming- length—that, in the matter of ears, even the Alderman, who
"puts down" all things, may meet more than his ma'ch.
Q. Why is the D'Oyley, at table, like a lady's bonnet?
A. Becauseit ought always to be put on before the Glass.