Punch (30.1856)

L;4b

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[June 21, 1856.

THE ITALIAN QUESTION—WHAT 'S TO BE DONE WITH
THE BOOT 1

A STRIKING NOVELTY IN MEDICINE.
A. New s-cheme has recently been put forward, under the title of the
"Movement Cure," for dealing with the ills of humanity. Rejecting
the theory that people may be drugged and drenched into a state of
health, the Movement Cure proposes to get rid of disease by pushing
the patient about, pommeling him, and in fact regularly pitching into
him. The doctors who adopt the Movement Cire propose to deal with
the public by beating the new system into them on the one hand, and,
when afflicttd with disease, beating it out of them on the other.
Humanity is to be treated like au old carpet, which is to be revived by
a thorough good beatiDg. The new mode differs from the old one,

DOMESTIC NOTICES OF MOTION.
Laburnum Lodge, Little Chelsea, Wednesday, June 18th.
Me. Grundy,—To at>k whether any and what expedients will be resorted to, in order
(o get Mrs. Grundy's respected mother-in-law out of the house, and at whose expense
so desirable au end is to be carried out.
Mrs. Grundy,—Bill for the crimson velvet dress that was granted to commemorate
the peace rejoicings upon Mrs. Grundy's return to health after the long protracted
Tiff last Spring, between her and her husband.
The Monthly Nurse,—To take into consideration the Petition of Mrs. Wesel, the
Monthly Nurse, in which she, mildly represents that a glass of hot rum-and-water the
last thing at night is absolutely necessary tor her constitution, aud that she will not
answer for the consequences to the dear child, unless the same is immediately granted
to her with something nice for supper.
Miss Letitia Grundy,—To inquire whether she is to be taken out this year, or next,
or when, or whether she is always to be kept in the background until her elder sister is
married, and in such a ca.se, what is to become of her ?
Master Robert Grundy,—To present au address, respectfully stating at full
length his age, independence, the state of his whiskers, and his general position in
society, aud wishing to know why at his next birthday, when he will be entering upon
his sixteenth birthday, he should not be allowed the honourable privilege of a latch-
key ; and asking to be heard at the bar of the diuuer-table in support of the same.
Mrs. Grundy,—Bill for Servants' Beer and Tea Money.
Sally Perks,—To apply for a settlement of her wages, two quarters of which,
amounting to the sum of £5 19s. id., are still due to her in her capacity of Upper
Housemaid; or else to intimate pretty strongly her intention of giving a month's
warning, aud to open her mind generally thereon.
Dr. Frumpy,—To brintr forward a statement, supported by strong medical testimony,
as to the urgent necessity of Mrs. Grundy taking the children down to the sea-side
for the benefit of their health.
Billy- Stammers,-To present a petition for a new livery, as his present Page's suit
is getting much too tight lor him, aud it is as much as he can do to button the same.
Mrs. Grundy,—To move for a return of the twelve silver forks, cut-glass epergne-
dish, and old chim punch-bowl, which were lent to the Flints' on the occasion of their
last evening paity.
Similar return of the silk umbrella, plaid shawl, and india-rubber goloshes which
Miss Snapp carried off with her the night it rained so, and which she promised to send
back the following morniDg, and which she never did, and to ask her the reason why i
Mr. Grundy1,—To make inquiries into the circumstance of a policeman being found
in the kitchen last Friday, and to ascertain, if possible, whether the area-gate was left
open on that evening or not, and how, and als > whether, instead of the policeman
walking down into the kitchen to apprise the Cook of the fact, and disturbing the
servants at supper, it would not have been much easier for him to have rung the
kitchen-bell ?
Miss Arabella Grundy,—To move for copies of the correspondence that papa says
he has had with the Editors of various Newspapers as well as with Mr. Lumley and
Mr. Gye with the view of obtaining an Opera-box, aud to beg of him to wrire again
and again, until he succeeds in obtaining one before the season is fairly over, and thost
stupid Smythes (whi have been there and can talk of nothing else), go out of town.
Mrs. Knaggs,—To complain of the indignity that is put upon her dear suffering
daughter, inasmuch as she has nothing better to go to the Cr\ stal Palace Flower-Sliow,
in than the old bonnet she had all last year, and which would dUgrace the head of any
washerwoman at Cremorne, and moreover is a shame to a gentleman of Mr Grundy's
means, who allows himself never less than three hats a-year, and would do well to
spend a little of the money he squanders in filthy dinners at Greenwich aud Richmond,
ou his wife's dress.
Mrs. Grundy,—To bring forward estimates for the purchase of a Perambulator as
every other house in the Rjw has got one, and the Nurse says that she's sure the Baby
feels it acutely, tor it does nothing but cry all the time it's being carried in her arms.

A NUT TO CRACK BY ONE ALREADY CRACK boD.

I've got a joke, a most tremendous joke,
inasmuch^ in the former the gymnastics were purely ac'ive, while in. One of no less than forty horse-laugh power,
the latter the patient is passive • and he receives what may_be Reader, your ribs 1 vigorously poke,
My joke's a joke about a well knosvn flower.
It 5s a conundrum : gue.-s it if you may ?

liberty in the dock.

What can be published more than once a-day ?
Oftener than daily papers ? Ha! The Dahlia !
**»»*»*
Put feathers in my cap ! Deck me with streamers !
That joke may rank amid the Adelphi

technically termed his "whack" from his medical attendant. The
passive movements are described as those "executed by the assistant
only on the patient," who is liable to be "kneaded" and "pressed," i „77ou can,'t' VI! & natn (resn ^rom Westphalia,
or is made to " vibrate" under the hand-* of the attendant, who is
occasionally engaged, as we are told by the " notes on the movement,"
(see page 6), in the agreeahle process of " sawing" him.
Another class of " movements " desigaed for curative purposes con-
sists of those in which " the patient resists the gymnast's effort of
making a certaia and determined form of movement," or, in other
words, a struggle takes place between doctor and patient, in which
the sponger of the two would naturally get the best of it. In such a
curative process the Tipton Slasher would probably be found useful,
or the Birmingham Cnicken might be called in with every hope of a
fdvou-able result to the sufferer. An invalid would probably be a
little startled by a prescription, involving a " set-to " with the " Knobby
0 ;e," or a mode or' treatment in which he would stand a chance of
getting " slashed " by the Tipton g-ntleman, or laid prostrate by the
" Chicken " already alluded to. We do no; wish to be understood as at
all depreciating the virtues of the " Movement Cure," as described in
the " notes " we have received, but we can only say that our nerves
are scarcely in a state to give it a fair trial.

COLLAR-DAY AT COURT.

What did the Lord Chamberlain mean by the following odd
announcement, which he published the other day in the London
Gazette:—
" N.B. The Knights of the several Orders are to appear in their collars at the
Drawing Room, it being a collar-day."
Imagination wanders in endeavouring to form an idea of the different
appearances presented by the various Knights appearing in their collars.
If not horse-collars, through which the Knights are to grin for the
Court's amusement, whar. collars are those in which the Knights wilt
appear ? Common shirt-collars ? A^e the Knights of the several
Orders, then, Knights of certain orders of fishes that are such odd
fishes as to be accustomed, when Ms to themselves, to venture into thj.
Constitutional Government is now on its trial. If the English j presence of Majesty without their giils ? Another question which
and American peoples murder each other, Constitutional Government j suggests itself in connection with this important subject, is whether
will be found gu-lty. i Count Colloredo will appear at Court in his collar on collar-day.