Punch (33.1857)

July 11, 1857.J

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

11

THE OLD, OLD BIRD.

APPROACHING MARTYRDOMS.

We have the best authority for stating that
more than one mitre will in all probability be
shortly at the disposal of the Government. A
protest has been entered against the Divorce
Bill, and among the dissentients we find the
names of S. Oxon and W. K. Sarum. The
reasons assigned for dissent are, chiefly, that the
sanction given by the Bill to the re-marriage of
a divorced wife or husband, during the lifetime
of both parties, is forbidden by the Bible, and in
"direct contradiction to the plain teaching" of
Christianity; and that the Bill will cause the
clergy of the Church of England to pronounce
a divine blessing on unions which they believe
to be condemned by Holy Writ, and which are
inconsistent with the language itself of that very
blessing. Unless, then, the Commons throw out
the Bill, there is no choice for Oxon and Sarum
but to throw up their mitres, after the tre-
mendous protest which they have made against
it. Cant., who has expressed similar sentiments,
may be expected to resign too. Some indeed
think that he is more likely to resign than Oxon,
who, for all his protest, can hardly be expected
to be a Protestant martyr, being, in fact, not
much of a Protestant.

" Spoiled Five."—" The most unpleasant
form of Note and Query," says an intelligent but
impenitent Ticket-of-leave man of our acquaint-
ance, is, when you are trying to obtain change
for a Eiver, and a policeman demands where
you got it."

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

June 29, Monday. The bad news from India brought up speakers in
both Houses, but nothing, of course, could be said by the Govern-
ment, except that it had every confidence in the Indian authorities,
The mail next week will show how far that confidence is merited.

In the Lords the Earl op Donoughmore made grievous grumbling
about a smart article published by the Examiner, touching an Irish
bishop called Lord Plunkett, who had opposed the Ministers' Money
Abolition Bill. The Earl wanted the publisher called to the bar.
Lord Granville, on behalf of Government, opposed such a process,
and said that the motion of the noble lord "would involve the House
in proceedings that might be endless, and that the Lords would
find themselves in a permanent conflict with that very
amusing publication, Punch" The general good sense of the Lord
President induces Mr. Punch to overlook the levity with which his
lordship alluded to the possibility of the most awful collision con-
ceivable in British history. As for the conflict being permanent, it
would be about as permanent as a conflict between a locomotive
engine, running sixty miles per hour, and a string of empty trucks
upon the line- Were Mr. Punch but to declare his intention of making
war upon the Lords, the Times would again come out with the single
sentence that did duty for a leading article when their lordships rejected
the Reform Bill, " Who can say that when we next publish,
there will be a House of Lords." The Donoughmore folly was
trodden out by the Peers in all indignation and some little terror.

In the Commons there was a discussion whether the Government
ought to job with the funds of the Savings' Banks, and there was also a
somewhat amusing debate on the vote of about £50,000 for theDepartment
of Science and Art, in the course of which the new museum in Brompton
Boilers was rather unceremoniously handled. There is no doubt,
however, that it is a valuable, though miscellaneous collection, and its
being open to the working classes on two evenings in the week is an
excellent feature in the arrangement. The Election Petitions Bill,
intended to prevent some of tbe trickery which enriches Parliamentary
agents, and scandalises everybody else, was read a second time, but
will be marvellously manipulated before it is allowed to pass.

Tuesday. Prance has a scheme for supplying the deficiency of negro
labour in the French colonies by the importation of free negroes, and
our own West India interest desires that our Government should adopt
the plan. Lord Palmerston is thought to favour the project, but as it
is held by many persons to be merely a device for working the slave
trade under another name, great and reasonable jealousy is felt upon
the subject. The Oxford University Bill was read a second time by
the Lords, who also discussed the hardship of the law that transported
an Irishman back to his country when his powers of labour here are ex-

hausted, and he becomes a pauper. The Attorney-General announced
that he meant to bring in a Bill on the Registration of Titles, but it
was not to be passed, only to be considered, which may be considered
a very mild and harmless style of legislation, and one on which Sir
F. Thesiger is quite prepared to deal with the claims of the Jews, and
the Bishop of Exeter to treat the subject of Divorce.

Mr. Henry Berkeley then brought on his Ballot motion, offering
to withdraw it if Government would promise that the ballot should be
part of the new Reform Bill. The Chancellor of the Exchequer

began a reply by saying, " If my hon. friend is really serious-- " and

as this was rightly supposed to be the exordium of an anti-ballot
speech, Mr. Berkeley went on. Later, Sir George, at greater
length, intimated that Government did not believe in the ballot, and
Lord John Russell, suspected of having a private Reform Bill about
him, hastened also to declare his antipathy to secret voting. On
division, Mr. Berkeley was beaten by 257 to 189.

The Civil Service then had its innings, Lord Naas very ably stating
the swindle of the Superannuation System, under which the Chan-
cellor of the Exchequer is permitted to rob the family of any
unhappy civil servant who dies in harness, of every shilling he has been
forced to contribute to the fund, unless he has reached_ the precise old
age at which his allowance begins ; a system which is also in other
ways most unfair and oppressive to the enormous body of talented and
valuable men who do the work of the country. Sir. G. Lewis
admitted a good deal of its badness, but did not see how to alter it-
actuaries are, however, he said, inquiring into the matter. Mr. Punch
is by no means sure that a Central Criminal Court may not foresta*
the actuaries, under Sir R. Bethell's new act; for if the system
be not a fraud on a trust fund, Mr. Punch does not know what a
fraud is.

Wednesday. The Medical Profession Bills occupied the attention of
the Commons, and there was a good deal of abuse of the doctors, the
facetious Tom Duncombe uttering some smart clap-trap, tending to
show that there is no difference between the bigotry that opposes all
innovation, and the wholesome police that interposes between a mis-
chievous quack and his ignorant_ victims. Mr, Headlam's Bill was
read a second time by a large majority, 225 to 78.

Thursday. Lord Redesdale's ridiculous little measure, to be
tacked to the Divorce Bill, and proposing to refuse the marriage rite
to those who have been divorced, and, on account of the alleged
scruples of some half-instructed priests, to make such a union a merely
civil contract, was speedily thrown out by the Lords by 62 to 23.
Some of the Lords have spoiled a good deal of nice paper by entering
protests against the Divorce Bill, and Mr. Punch sincerely hopes they
pay their own stationers' bills, and do not waste the foolscap of the
nation on such rubbish. Lord Campbell called upon the bishops to