Punch (33.1857)

November 7, 1857.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

187

wonder he should crave good dinners to sustain him, as well as
"cheerful inmates" to revive his drooping spirits. It sounds very
well in poetry to say that music is the food of love : but in real life, a
man, however love-sick he may be, wants something more'than a piano
for his dinner. In the way of nutriment it would be found an " airy
nothing," though it is not a wind instrument. All the airs that could
be played on it would fail to satisfy an appetite, even were they
Handel's, which we have heard called "the roast beef of music."
Life let us Cherish is a commonly shared sentiment, but playing it on
the piano would not much promote the end it inculcates : nor would
there be much stimulant in Drops of Brandy, if they were drunk in by
the ear alone, and poured out from a Broadwood instead of a black
bottle.

But, whatever be the reasons which have induced this Nice Young
Man (or older- one) to advertise himself as desirous of becoming a
small musical party, we should caution his respondents to think twice
about the " terms " on which they would receive him. A good appe-
tite peeps out in the demand of a good table, and besides his turn for
music, they may be assured that he has also a good twist. Although
ignorant as yet of playing the piano, depend on it he knows how to
play a knife and fork: and as a prelude to his "morceaux cle concert,"
would indulge in several morceaux de mouton, or other choice tit-bits,
Indeed, should any lady "take the trouble to instruct him," we have
very little doubt that she would find she had a sinecure, so far, at least
as teaching him the Exercise of Crammer.

DARING CRITICISM ON A NOBLEMAN.

We have more than once, latterly, had occasion to remark on the
great improvement manifested by our fashionable contemporary. The
following paragraph, which appeared in that journal the other day,
exhibits a great advance in the manner of chronicling the acts of
noblemen:—

"The Earl of Haerawby on the Indian Mutiny and the State of the
Army.—At the Annual Dinner of the Sandon and Marston Agricultural Society, at
Sandon, on Wednesday, the Right Hon. the Earl of Harrowby, in proposing
the toast of the 'Army and Navy,' spoke at considerable length on the existing
state of affairs in India. Lord Harrowby's observations v- ere not remarkable for
any peculiarity or force, but were of a purely general and common-place character."

In the critical remark which concludes the above announcement
goixg to' give Nature a Chance ! " I there is a freedom and independence of tone which could not be sur-

I passed by the most democratic journal in New York. At the same

Why, Fwed !—Whawt's the Matter with tour Legs?"
"Why, tou see, Peg-Top Trousers are getting so Common, I'm

time there is nothing offensive in it; nothing, at least, at which the
I Earl of Harrowtby can take offence, unless he is a vain man. In
HOW MERRILY WE LIVE THAT LODGERS BE! j that case, indeed, his appetite for breakfast the other morning may
. . . have been somewhat impaired by finding his observations described as

• All ye who music love, and would its pleasures prove give a «not remarkable' for any peculiarity or force," and as being of a "purely
lance, if you let lodgings, to the following advertisement, which was I general and common-place character." There are not a few gentlemen

inserted for your benefit in the Times a few days since :-

A PARTMENTS WANTED, viz. :—A Sitting and Bed Room, with use
of Piano, by a gentleman engaged in the City. Must be in the house of a
professional or that of a private musical family, where a lady would take the trouble

whose muffin would be embittered, egg disrelished, coffee deprived of
aroma, milk soured, and morning repast altogether spoiled, by the
sight of a report of their speech so summary, and of remarks thereupon
so compendious and unflattering as the above. But an Earl can afford
to instruct the> advertiser on the pianoforte: in the latter ease board would not be : to laugh at any criticism, however severe; nor, if he is a reasonable
objected to, where a good table is kept and inmates cheerlul. Address, with terms, 1 i_i -n ,1 - x- ii i • j ■ \ ■ ± 1 mi. f

and full particulars, to Delta, care of Messrs. Asterisk & Blank, No. 0, Dash Street] nobleman, Will anything Ot the kind Occasion him to quarrel With lllS

near Circle Square. ' < bread-and-butter, whilst he exults in the reflection that the butter on

mi j- ■ v , ,i i • . j i > , , .j* n the bread, and on both sides of if, is spread thick; and that no critic,

Tne wording is slightly ambiguous m this but it is clear at any, however savagej is abie to scrape it any thmner.
rate that Delta has not been deterred by diffidence irom stating what ;

he wishes. There is a coolness quite cucumbrian in his asking to be --

let into the bosom of a private family, where he would just trouble !

some kind lady to teach him the piano, gratia; for the phrase, " take ! CURATES AND THEIR PROPRIETORS,

the trouble," quite prohibits our believing that he has any thought of
paying his instructress. Then, mark how finely he distinguishes
between mere professionals and really private people. Only in the
-.after case will fie sit at table with the inmates. Nay, even here again
nis diffidence deserts him, and he imposes the condition that the table

The clerical instructors of the British Public are accustomed
frequently to reprove their hearers for making too much haste to be
rich. Some of those divines may not themselves be chargeable with
going too fast in the pursuit of wealth, simply because they have no
must be "good," and the inmates "c¥e^rful."~~6nly"on"lh"ese"terms I occasion to be in any hurry. The annual value of the ecclesiastical

e

cheer in their hearts as well as their cuisine, he will shut himself up in The respective stipends of these curacies are_£5 6.?. 8d., £6, £18 5s.
his "sitting and bedroom " (we are doubtful if he means by this one and £52. These facts are set forth in a memorial from landowners and
or two apartments), and will hold himself aloof from all except his others, presented by the Justices of the Cumberland Quarter Sessions
music mistress. to the Ecclesiastical Commissioners. Have those Magistrates, at their

As we like to study " characters," we have been speculating some- Sessions, any rogues to punish more nefarious and impudent than
what deeply with ourselves for near five seconds, as to what this those who sack so much Church property, and allow their Curates such
Delta can'be guessed to be. His engagement in the City, and his shamefully small shares of the swag ?
fondness for good living, are properties which might be viewed as I _
aldermanic ; but our fancy fails to picture an alderman in lodgings,

and playing the piano ! Perhaps he is a wretched valetudinarian, and Puzzling; Announcement

has been prescribed_ good dinners, and a little gentle exercise on the I

piano for an appetite. Or it may be he's in love, and to test the Admiral Berkeley, having succeeded to his Castle, is succeeded,
strength of his affections, the fair engrossress of them may perhaps at the Admiralty, by Admiral Dundas, who succeeded in the Baltic,
have forbidden him her presence until he can play her a tune on the Admiral Napier, who succeeded—No, no, that must be a mistake,
piano. Reduced to this " most musical, most melancholy " plight, no I Oh, ah, he succeeded in getting into Southwark.